I am not ok ( Read more... )

LoveisLaced (11:29:28 PM): i get on facebook and laugh all day long

LoveisLaced (11:29:34 PM): sometimes i laugh until i cry

cup n cakes (11:29:37 PM): hahaha

LoveisLaced (11:29:44 PM): sometimes i just cry

cup n cakes (11:29:48 PM): awwww

cup n cakes (11:29:54 PM): you miss peopleses?

LoveisLaced (11:30:13 PM): because everyone is married and has kids ( Read more... )

This is a world that I do not understand.. and tonight I'm not feeling much of an itch or desire to want to understand

Some days it is okay to fall apart
Some days falling down is what you need, just so you can get back up

I hate having to explain to those more knowledgable than myself that "Sometimes it's okay to have a sad day.."   ..

Right now, in ( Read more... )

Driving home tonight after dropping Christina off was fairly nice until a familiar song from the fall came on the radio.. the euphoric recall was immeasurable .. it was bittersweet - as nothing about this fall was easy and picking up the pieces of the summer's broken chaos carved hollows in our chests and brought tears melding with breaths sucked ( Read more... )

I suppose I need to work on my outlook .. recharge and reformat..
I don't want everything I write to be some dark abysmal cryptic babble

Life is okay and I know how to be "happy" or at least find happy .. and most days I truly choose to be content, silly, upbeat. I have a talent for that, I really do.

What I don't have a talent for is always keeping ( Read more... )

I think I'm still somewhat in denial ( Read more... )

promised you the world again
Everything within my hands
All the riches one could dream
They will come from me

I hoped that you could understand
That this is not what I had planned
Please don’t worry now
It will turn around

Cause I need more time
Just a few more months and I’ll be fine
So say what’s on your mind
Cause I can’t figure out just what’s ( Read more... )

It's been a very long time since I have updated. Normally the only time I feel creative or make an effort at this is when it all hurts too much.

Too uncomfortable to be alive - too afraid to just not be.

Life feels, it seems very bad now. I know this is not the worst it has been or the worst it will get but it feels like it could be. I wake up in ( Read more... )

Holding this stack of papers in my hands - getting ready to make copies for my mother to take to the attorneys tomorrow - birth certificate, emergency room bill from the day of his death, tattered origional birth certificate .. a lump in my throat forms and it turns my stomach just a bit looking at the tattered social security card and driver's ( Read more... )

I effing hate my networking class. This crap is so boring it makes vomitting on myself sound like a fun idea. I feel like I made a huge mistake signing up for these classes. I am effed. Life still sucks but it's ok I don't expect anyone to feel for me or understand. I'm just talking to myself here.