Nights like these are always tough. When there's nothing to do. Noone to talk to. It's late, but you're not tired. You're mind is in overdrive but you'd rather think of anything else. I hate it. That feeling. You finally tune out the thoughts that are screaming in your brain and your stomatch hurts. I dont know whats worse. I try to finish ( Read more... )

So I spent my day wandering. Between my bed and the couch. Weeding through thoughts in my head. I'm like the walking dead. Sleeping all afternoon. Now I'm outside. Sitting on the back stoop eating potato salad. and smoking a 120. Looking out on the trees and flowers. Its getting colder. I feel the fall approaching. Its in the air as I ( Read more... )

I feel like I have to write, write down everything. pour it all out on the table. but I can't. I can't do alot of things lately. I wanna cry, I wanna scream. I want to do anything. Anything that will express how I'm feeling. How I want to grab you and tell you to hold on. To prove to you that I'm worth it. But all I can do is sit, stand, ( Read more... )

Lately Ive been really happy. And I guess nothing else matters.

Its all about butterflies. Thats what it comes down to. Butterflies. Ive been thinking about it recently. Its the feeling you get when you first see that person. Or its the feeling that you want to get to know them better. Its never wanting to leave them. Or not hang out with them. Or touch them. Ive come to the conclusion that Ill never ( Read more... )

I saw Elvis Costello last night with Billy and Katie. He was so good. It made my life. I also saw Ted from "Queer Eye." He has such good taste in music. I knew he was my favorite. Yesterday made me realize that I can have fun all the time and not have to compromise my happiness by hanging out with people that bring me down. Today I hang out ( Read more... )

So not having the internet is torture. I really miss typing in this thing. Everytime I think of something or want to type it in here I realize that I cant. And writing it down is so hard. All my thoughts and ideas and everything run away. They never make it to the paper. And if they do no one can see them. And sometimes I wish they could. I ( Read more... )

So my cell phone is turned off kinda. And I still dont have the internet. If I like you, Ill be getting in touch with you this week. If I dont, then you know what that means.

P.S. If anyone wants to talk to me, considering the internet situation my cell is (631)335-1853. Ill probably entertain anyones call. So yeah call me.

P.P.S I totally got my bottom braces off. Its quite exciting.

Not having the internet really sucks. It makes me wanna cry. Ive never realized how dependent I was until now. I hate not being able to update my journal all the time. I hate having to wait until I hang out with someone to check my email and myspace. Having no cable and internet is like being a nun. Well not really. But something like that ( Read more... )