this is day 3 of my fast. wheeee!! i am past the hunger now. i am so proud of myself - i was so tempted to eat last night becuase i was so freakin humgry, and i knew i would end up binging. but i ate absolutely nothing. YAY!!

just got back from gymnastics. i can really tell a difference in my strength, and it probably doesnt help that i am taking diet pills. i couldn't get my run or takeoff right, and i just felt like i had no power. not that i am too weak, i was just waaaay off, and i am never THAT off. maybe i shouldn't take diet pills on gymnastics days, or at least ( Read more... )

i feel panicked. i can't do this. i am obviously determined to reach my goal weight. but right now i just feel this overwhelming urge to SI.....i have been on the verge of spacing out for the past couple hours, and if it gets past the point that i am now, i wont have any other choice but to do it. i feel so depressed and nervous and anxious. but ( Read more... )

weigh in.
i am down 4 pounds in 3 days.

that puts me at 128. 8 lbs away from my STG. still 18 to go till my LTG. getting closer. i just have to keep this up.

wish me luck :)

i feel depressed. i am not even sure why. i hate feeling down.

i am officially at the 24 hour mark of my fast. 6 days to go.

today at church i gave my talk. it was soooo nervewracking. but i am proud of myself that i did it, especially considering when i tried to do it few weeks ago, i chickened out and walked out like 30 seconds before i was supposed to go up there. but i did it today ( Read more... )

so i have eaten a little the past 2 days, but no more eating from tomorrow until saturday. it will be much easier since i have no massages scheduled this week. even if i end up doing one, i still won't eat anything. i did really well the first 3 days of my fast. i just ate because of doing massages. but no more. i have things to do all day tomorrow ( Read more... )

today is day 3. so far so good. but i am giving a 2 hour massage tonight, so if i feel faint i might eat a little something cuz it would be bad to pass out while i am giving a massage. been there done that....it's not good. so we'll see how i feel a little later. the appointment is not until 8pm ( Read more... )

day 2 of my fast. i have to get through today, and then it will be easier ( Read more... )

i ate kind of a lot today, but i exercised a lot too, so it almost evens out. i probably ate about 1000 cals today. the good news is that i am at my mom's house and i can get away with not eating because my stepdad won't try to make me eat if i don't want to, and my mom has and eating disorder, so she definitely won't say anything ( Read more... )