my heart keeps going back to the same place.
each time.
time after time.
no matter what happens.
and i know there's a reason for it.
i know.
no matter how much i deny or try and tell myself otherwise,
no matter what,
it's always back to her.

i don't know what all this means, but i missed the shit out of her.
and i'm glad to have her back in my life.
she means ( Read more... )

i am SO fucking alone.
in every sense of the word,
& i can't or don't know how
to deal with this kind of thing.
i don't mean friends.
i mean physically. and romantically.
i need that piece, i do.
i didn't before, but i do now.
and i'm tired of fakes who act like they like everyone.
that's the only type i ever get.
i want someone genuine for once.
i want ( Read more... )

this whole week has been about
weighing and outweighing things in my life.
i shouldn't put up with half the shit i do.
i know the good & the bad.
i know what's good for me and what's not.
i'm not dumb, you know.

i want to be happy.
for once.

ps: i just realized i have a bra in this exact color of my font! ;\

so there's this new girl.
and she treats me like fucking gold.
who knows what it's all about. but it feels good to be appreciated for once.

people who made my day:

MISTELLE.
ETHAN.
LAUREN CHEFF.

YOU'LL NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME!!!
;[ i needed it.

lmfao @ someone adding me on facebook that i haven't seen since grade 5.
yes, making me a big 10 years old. whoa. she has a 3yr old and is married. wtf.
and breeds big scary snakes and lizards. o.o

and this girl i haven't talked so since grade 11 added me.
wow, 7 years ago.
and 13 years for the other one.
damn, i feel reallyreally old.

my stomach looks ( Read more... )

i've lost so much weight that my stomach looks flabbity. ;[
60lbs to be exact.
bitchessssss.
my jeans i have on right now are a size 6.
and they're not stretchy.
i want to be a size 4.
i need to lose 20 more lbs.
should take me 2 months.
if i could get on it and stop being so lazy.
pffff.

how the fuck can one single person bring so much perfect to one world.
she's the type of girl to always make you smile.
she's the type of girl that you wait for her call.
and you get so nervous and shaky and giggly talking to her.
and you could just laugh and talk for hours.
she's the one to make my face hurt. 
my cheeks cramp up from smiling too much
she ( Read more... )

wanna hear 'fucked up'?
try a woman beating her 18 month old child 'til she dies. 
and hiding her body behind the couch on christmas eve.
and then, killing her younger infant by beating it in the head.
oh, and let's not forget the asshole who thought it'd be okay
to beat severely and mug an 86 year old. and a 101 year old.

god, i hate people.
i know i'm ( Read more... )

i'd never be happy without you.
i know; i've tried.
it's just the look in your eyes
the way i could stare forever without blinking,
your mysterious smile that could crush my conscience in two
the only who could lead me on for miles.
i'm sitting here holding my heart in my hands,
i'm on my knees wishing you were here
please, i beg
my distant screams cry out
' ( Read more... )