Thank you everyone for your comments and encouraging words. Sometimes I feel like I am being a big baby because everyone with kids goes through this. It's part of life that I need to deal with. I believe that part of my issue is that my life is so empty; that I have nothing else that fills me up (no pun intended). Throw in anorexia and depression ( Read more... )

I watched my daughter play in her last hockey game on Saturday night. She had an out of town tournament. We've been going to these things for years with both kids for hockey and soccer and track and field. It feels like so much of my life has been spent watching my kids have fun in their sports and I have cherished every minute. We are not over-the ( Read more... )

I am on shaky ground. I started crying during my volunteer stint yesterday and had to go off for a few minutes to collect myself. I felt so despondent and so hungry but I just couldn't bring myself to eat anything at that time. I had a tea with a small bit of sugar and that seemed to help a bit. I ate some veggies for dinner. When I woke up this ( Read more... )

I need to eat something. I have my 4 hours of volunteering at noon today and I stand or walk the entire time. I have a pounding headache, am faint, and tired....so very very tired. My last labs showed very low vitamin B12 and I am supposed to be addressing that but I haven't yet. Maybe that is what is making me exhausted beyond belief. I will have ( Read more... )

I awoke this morning to the scale showing that 3/4 of the water retention weight was gone. It's a partial relief but not good enough. It never is. Nothing is never good enough with this disease. If I eat 100 calories, I beat myself up relentlessly and wonder why I didn't just eat 50. After all, 50 would be enough in my tangled mind. If I eat 50, it ( Read more... )

I am at the car dealership this morning spending a ton of money getting my old car fixed: sticking accelerator. Very dangerous thing to have though so it's good I am getting this done. It didn't stick in the accelerating position but rather when trying to go after braking, it would not depress ( Read more... )

My son turned 19 yesterday. He was home from university last week for Reading Week and it was great to see him. Two more months and he will be home for a 4 month summer. Of course he will be working but at least he will be around ( Read more... )

My scales are driving me crazy. Or rather, I am driving myself crazy over my scales. I bought another scale today so now I have 5. They ALL weigh me as something slightly different. WTF?? Not crazy different but different enough to make me nuts. The difference is 1.2 lbs meaning that scale 1 weighs me at X and scale 5 weighs me at X + 1.2. The ( Read more... )

My daughter, and second child, leaves home for university in September. As son is already away at school, I will then have an empty nest. I can tell you, I already have severe anxiety about this and it's still 7 months away. I am so excited for my daughter to enter this phase of life and spread her wings away from home but I am absolutely dreading ( Read more... )

I watched an episode of My 600 lb Life today. It drove me crazy. The woman they portrayed had bariatric surgery and then would not stop eating junk food post surgery and she ended up gaining weight. She refused to help herself and it was making me so MAD and I don't even know her. I thought how selfish she was to not be able to cut the crap and eat ( Read more... )