[avengers big bang] never say never; part two
Notes/Reference Post here.
Never Say Never
===============
"So... Vegas, huh?"
Steve hadn't made it to the elevator after he had left the suite. The second the door had closed, the sense of panic that had been bubbling under the surface ever since he had woken up had suddenly burst and he had been quick to dial Bucky's number as he walked through the hallway.
Now that he had him on the other end of the line, though, Steve had no idea what to say. Although he didn't sound as angry as the woman on Tony's phone had sounded, and he definitely didn't sound how Obadiah Stane had, Bucky still didn't sound thrilled that his best friend had gotten married in Vegas. To Tony Stark, of all people.
"Do I call you 'Mr. Stark' now?" Bucky continued, and now Steve could hear a faint smirk on his voice. "Or are you getting him to take your name? I'm hurt that I didn't get an invitation."
"Well, when I remember what happened, I'll make sure to give you all the details." Steve closed his eyes, leaning against the wall by the elevator as he fought the headache and the nausea that threatened to make his stomach turn. "God, of all things that could have happened."
"Yeah." A pause. "I never thought..."
"Don't," Steve just mumbled, sighing under his breath. "When we get back, I don't... We're not going to. You know."
"No, I don't know. You're not going to, what?" They both stayed silent, but the lack of response seemed to be enough of an answer for Bucky. "Seriously? You're going to stay married? To him, of all people? You just met him!"
"It's complicated."
"It's really not. This isn't you, Steve."
Steve let out a humorless laugh. "The drinking, or the marrying?"
"The everything."
"Yeah, well. You wanted me to have fun, right?" Steve shook his head almost as soon as he uttered the words, and he sighed. "Sorry, I'm dealing with the hangover from hell. I shouldn't have said that. I just wanted to check in, let you know everything's okay. I saw the missed calls."
Bucky chuckled quietly. "Right, about that. Sorry for blowing up your phone like that. I just thought it was some...weird joke."
'Yes,' Steve wanted to say, 'I still think that it is.' He didn't say it, though; instead, he just straightened up and pressed the button for the elevator. He needed to get some fresh air. He had no idea where he was going, but he just needed to take a walk and clear his head. "I'll talk to you later, yeah? Don't do anything crazy while I'm gone."
"How can I? You took all the crazy with you."
Shaking his head, Steve hung up after saying goodbye and tried to focus on the buttons of the elevator so that the sudden movements wouldn't make his nausea worse.
Once the doors opened, though, and he walked through the lobby, the nausea came back with a vengeance; especially as the horde of reporters and paparazzi blinded him with their cameras as he did his best to avoid them by rushing back to the room.
***
"Look, Pep-- Pepper. Pepper, just have some clothes sent up for us."
Pepper stayed silent on the other side of the line as Tony toyed with a new water bottle. Finally, "What size should I get for... I'm sorry, what's his last name? Your...husband's."
Tony stopped moving at once, suddenly realizing that he had never bothered to ask. Or had he? If he had, he just couldn't remember. Looking around, almost wishing that Steve had forgotten his wallet so he could take a peek at his driver's license, he saw the folded piece of paper on the nightstand and at once dove for it. Steven Rogers, the marriage certificate read. The marriage certificate that Tony wanted to burn in hopes that, if he did it, it would somehow erase this whole mess that they were in.
"Tony?"
Pepper's voice brought him back to reality, and at once he cleared his throat. "Yeah. Uh. Rogers. His last name is Rogers."
Pepper paused for a second but, as she spoke again, her voice softened. "How are you doing?"
The question made Tony want to laugh, but there was nothing funny about this. No, he thought, he didn't want to laugh. He wanted to just hide. After his parents had died, he had left the United States and hid in various countries throughout Europe until it was time for him to return to take his father's company. Now, as stupid and as childish as it was (or so his father's ghost sneered in his ear), he just wanted to disappear again.
"I'm fine," he just answered before Pepper could ask again. "I'll text you in a few minutes, I don't... I need to check what size he wants." Steve stormed into the room then, looking flustered and out of breath, which caused Tony's train of thought to derail. "I'll call you back, yeah? Thanks, Pep." After hanging up, he set the phone aside and jumped out of bed at once. "What happened?"
"Reporters. The whole lobby is full of reporters."
"Are you okay? We can just, you know, order room service. Sorry, I should have probably thought about that." As Steve disappeared into the bathroom, Tony busied himself by calling in room service. He had no idea what Steve wanted, so one of everything was ordered and once it was all delivered he sat on the bed with a cup of coffee and a doughnut.
It wasn't until he was on his second serving that Steve walked out of the bathroom, and at the sight of so much food throughout the room he couldn't help but smirk. "Is this so we never have to go out of the room?"
Tony shrugged, a faint smile on his face. "One can only wish." He stayed silent as he served himself his own coffee, and after a moment he blurted out the question that had been burning deep in him ever since Steve had stepped in to talk to Obadiah. "Why did you do it, Steve?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You know what I'm talking about." Tony leaned back against the backboard of the bed while Steve did the same next to him. "Don't get me wrong. Like I said, I'm thankful for it. But you didn't seem thrilled about the idea when I first brought it up."
Steve looked down at his cup of coffee, swirling the dark liquid around as Tony turned to look at him. "You looked like you needed the help."
"So you're doing it out of pity."
"I wasn't aware that help meant pity." Turning to look back at him, Steve noticed how it was now Tony's turn to look away in what seemed to be frustration, and he sighed. "It's temporary, alright? Just...let it go."
"'Let it go'? We're MARRIED." Tony frowned, turning to him. "This isn't help. This is-- It's marriage."
"What, and you don't think I know that? Weren't you the one that stressed the importance of what this meant?"
"I just. I don't get it. We just met, and of all things..."
Steve stayed silent, simply staring at his now husband before answering quietly. "Not everything has an ulterior motive, Tony. Now, we should probably cover a few things if you want to convince people that this wasn't a quickie marriage with a complete stranger. Like... I don't know. Do you even know my last name? Did we mention that last night?"
Tony still didn't seem convinced with Steve's answer, but just nodded at the question. "Yeah. I mean, I don't know if we did, but I know your last name. Or, well, I had some help." He nodded towards the marriage certificate, and suddenly couldn't help the small smile on his lips. "Honestly, I'm surprised we managed to remember our names last night. Do you remember anything?"
"I remember the bar, and drinks. A lot of drinks, obviously. But no, nothing more than that. I'm not sure if that's better or worse than actually remembering." Steve finished his coffee and set his mug aside. "So, details. I'm Steve Rogers. I'm a law student."
"I do remember that part, too."
"Yeah, and speaking of, I have a test tomorrow that I can't really miss."
Tony set his own mug aside. "Are you really willing to brave the public this week?" At Steve's sudden horrified look as he realized he might miss his test, Tony quickly added, "But we can figure something out. I mean, I can pull a few strings and get you an extension. Maybe your professor can have you take the test elsewhere. I'll have Pepper look into it. I promise, she'll figure it out. She can work miracles."
Steve took a moment to look normal again but, once he finally did, he just stared at Tony as if waiting for something. When Tony simply stared back, he smirked faintly. "Your turn."
"For what?"
"To share. Details, remember?"
For a moment Tony didn't know how to answer, so he didn't answer right away. Finally, "Everything you want to know about me is published. I swear, I think I had a publicist the second that I was born."
"I doubt everything has been published about you."
"You're not too familiar with the press, huh?" Tony took one of the pillows from the floor, and propped himself up with it. "Anthony Edward Stark. Son of Howard and Maria Stark, born in Long Island. My father was a brilliant weapons manufacturer, and I have followed in his footsteps. I built my first circuit board when I was four, and my first engine after that. I graduated from MIT when I was seventeen, and--"
Steve raised his hand to stop him. "Alright, thanks for giving me the biography version of you, but how about something more convincing."
"What are you talking about?"
"Tony, anyone can read that stuff up and figure it out. If I really had been your boyfriend, what kind of things would I know?"
Once again Tony was rendered speechless, because that kind of question was something he just wasn't used to, and... Well, he really had no idea what to say. He had never had a real girlfriend - or boyfriend - that he let in for more than a few nights into his life. "My best friend is in the army," he said after what felt like an eternity of silence. "His name is James Rhodes. Or, well, Rhodey. Right now he is overseas, and has been for a few months now."
"Okay, that's good. What else should I know?"
"I have an assistant. Pepper."
"Pepper?"
Tony chuckled at his perplexed expression. "Nickname. Her name is Virginia Potts."
Steve smirked. "You're big on nicknames, I take it?"
"Something like that. Pepper. Rhodey. Obie, who you met this morning." A beat. "Which, by the way, sorry about that. He's a little overprotective of me; he was my dad's best friend. Other than that, there's really nothing else." There's no one else, he almost said, but just shrugged instead. "What about you?"
"Well, you met Bucky yesterday. He's my best friend. We've known each other since we were kids."
"Sounds like I'm not the only one that likes nicknames."
Steve chuckled. "Yeah, I guess."
"What about your parents?"
The smile that had been lingering on Steve's face faded, and his brow furrowed slightly as he seemed to focus on the ceiling above them. "Gone, too. Mom ever since I was twelve. Dad... He's been gone for four months now."
Tony had been listening in silence but, at his words, he went completely and absolutely still. Only someone who had lost a parent could understand that loss, and the grief that came along with it, but Tony still couldn't face it himself - how could he say anything to Steve? He just knew that he couldn't say 'I'm sorry,' not because he didn't feel sympathy for his loss but because he had hated those words after the accident. He had wanted to yell and scream at everybody who had gone up to him and said how sorry they were, because they seemed so hollow and empty. The last thing he wanted to offer Steve was hollow and empty.
Instead, Tony tentatively rested a hand on Steve's arm as if to say, you aren't alone. I know what you're going through - you aren't alone. Because, even if Tony wasn't used to being able to count on someone, and even if emotions in general were complicated and confusing for him, the fact that Steve had been willing to help him made him want to help him, too.
When he didn't say anything else, he began to move so he could get out of bed and shower but, before he could do so, Steve rested his own hand on Tony's shoulder as if to say, you aren't alone, either.
***
The weekend was spent in their suite, the hours ticking by as they talked and continued getting to know each other. They avoided talking about their parents, but covered everything from baseball to music preferences, and only paused when Tony mentioned he wasn't a big fan of movies; how he never seemed to have the time or patience for them. This had caused Steve to immediately reach for a notepad and a pen, and started compiling a list of 'MUST WATCH' movies that Tony needed to catch up immediately, because how could someone not like the movies?
Of course, this list caused Tony to start creating his own list but instead of movies it was made of songs that Steve needed to listen to, because how could someone not have more than one AC/DC album in their collection?
As their weekend ended, Steve told Tony about his love for art, and how if he would have been able to do anything he would have taken time off from life in general so he could just spend it traveling and drawing, and Tony had to stop himself from offering to make that wish a reality.
This was temporary, Tony had to remember. Because, even if it wasn't, he couldn't imagine that someone as normal as Steve could really be interested in someone like him.
***
"Can I ask you something that you didn't really cover?"
Steve looked over to Tony as he finished packing a suitcase with some of the clothes that Pepper had sent them. Honestly, the amount of clothes seemed to equal the number he had in his closet back in Brooklyn, but throughout the weekend Tony had kept claiming how there was nothing to wear even if they never left the room. Now their plane was scheduled to leave in two hours, and they had both been quiet as they tried to wrap their head around the fact that this would be the first time they would be out and about since the news of their marriage had broken out. "Sure. What is it?"
"You're a military man." It wasn't a question, but a statement. It seemed to take Steve by surprise, but Tony only smiled. "You have certain...poses that only people from the military have. The way you fold your clothes, too. I see it all the time with Rhodey."
Steve continued folding his clothes, not answering right away. "Yes," he finally said. "It was a couple of years ago, though."
Tony just nodded without another word, but that didn't last long. "That scar, on your shoulder. Is it from combat?" Because, even if they hadn't been physical with each other after sobering up, Tony had caught a glimpse of the scars on his shoulder while Steve changed shirts the previous morning.
"You notice a lot of things, don't you."
"It's more of a I know what to look for kind of thing." Tony busied himself with the shirt he was folding, but it was hard to tell if he was stalling or simply had no idea how to really fold. "My dad was raised by a military man." The words came out before he could stop them, and Tony himself looked surprised. "He wasn't one himself," he continued after a moment, "but you could see the influence in him."
Steve went still, noticing the way that Tony's demeanor changed. Neither had truly said more than one or two words about their parents - especially their fathers - so the words definitely took Steve by surprise. "Do you think you have that same influence?"
Tony let out a laugh that sounded almost bitter as he closed up his suitcase after simply stuffing the clothes in. "I'm not like my father."
"That's not what I meant."
Setting down his suitcase with a loud thump, Tony bristled towards the dresser to get his wallet. "We should get going. The driver should be here soon."
***
The drive to the airport had been done in absolute silence, and that didn't change even after they were up in the air. Tony kept himself busy either by looking out the window, or flipping through a magazine, but not once had he turned to look at Steve anymore. It was such a change from how his attitude had been throughout the weekend that Steve wasn't sure what to make of it.
"Do you want to go over anything before we get back?" he asked, but Tony didn't even glance his way. Drumming his fingers on the armrest, Steve looked out his window for a moment but caught himself staring at Tony's reflection.
What are you doing, Rogers? he asked himself for the thousandth time this weekend but, like with every other time, found himself unable to answer.
"My dad was a military man, too." Steve drummed his fingers on the armrest again, not sure if he was doing so out of his uneasiness with flying or because he was talking about his dad. "All his life, actually. He always had a devotion to his country that was unparalleled with anything else, and it was hard not to learn from him. In...everything."
Tony turned to him then. "Is that why you went into the military, too?"
The smile that played on Steve's lips was sad as he looked down at the armrest. "No. He actually didn't want me to follow his footsteps. He wanted me to do anything I wanted, but not join the military. He was adamant about it, but I didn't listen. I didn't want to. I figured, he had gone into the military, why not me. So...Bucky and I joined as soon as we could."
"Really?" When Steve turned to look at him, Tony smiled faintly. "I never pegged you for the rebellious type."
"I'm not. That was my most...rebellious thing I've ever done. Unless you count getting married in Vegas as rebellious."
"Depends who you ask, probably." Noticing that now it was Steve's turn to stay silent, Tony did the only thing he could think of doing: change the subject. "I don't think I ever asked you something. If we wouldn't have...you know. Gotten married. Would you have ever... You know. I mean. Yeah."
Steve blinked at Tony's small ramble, and couldn't help but laugh. "What are you talking about?"
"Would you have. Well. Not gotten married, that's not-- Well. No, I guess I do mean that."
"Tony."
"Would you have...married a man?"
This time Steve's silence wasn't because of his discomfort in having to talk about a subject that he rarely ever mentioned; it was because he himself didn't know the answer to Tony's question. "No," he finally answered in what was the most honest answer he had. "You?"
The answer had caused something in Tony to stir violently within him, but he didn't show it. Instead, he just forced out one of his most convincing smirks as he leaned back against his seat. "Of course not. I'm Tony Stark. I'm not the marrying type at all, Rogers."
***
On Monday after The Big Weekend, as people throughout Stark Industries (and, well, the world) called it, Tony made it to his office without Pepper having to drag him in. If anything, he had been in the board room bright and early, and even stayed awake throughout the whole meeting. He paid attention, he wrote notes, and when the subject of his probation came up, Tony forced himself to just listen to everybody taking their turns ranting at him before he explained that no, the marriage wasn't a sham, that he knew what he was doing, and that it would be okay. They were happy. He would change, and for the better. Wasn't that what was good for business?
They hadn't been quick to agree, but eventually they had no choice but to say that the probation would still be in place for now. One more incident, and things could change, but in the meantime they needed him to get down to business.
When Steve arrived to the loft in Manhattan where he and Tony were staying, he just found a message on the phone from Tony, saying that he had some work to do in the lab and would see him later.
'Later' was past midnight, and they both fell asleep on the couch before they could figure out sleeping arrangements.
***
It became a habit, of sorts; Tony would go to work, Steve would go to school, and the evenings and nights were spent in Tony's lab. Tony would busy himself with designs and new projects, and Steve would study or watch a movie. Sometimes they just listened to music. Sometimes they just worked in a comfortable silence that neither could figure out or explain.
The habit had been born out of a need to put up appearances, just in case someone dropped by or tried to catch them in their farce, but it became something else entirely as time moved along. One week turned to two, and then the weeks merged into a month, and the ease that they pretended to have was no longer just pretend. Steve would make sure that Tony would eat something, and at least nap even if he insisted that he needed to finish his project; Tony would always have fresh coffee prepared for them in the mornings, and made sure to lower the volume of his music if Steve had a test to study for.
Pepper noticed a change in her boss, but she never said it outloud. She never pointed it out, because she was afraid to scare it away. More importantly, she was afraid that she would jinx it, because even if she hadn't worked with Tony for very long, she could see the difference in him. The ease he had in his projects, the level of concentration he had during meetings. The board noticed it, and she knew Mr. Stane noticed it as well.
And, if she didn't know any better, she would be willing to bet that he wasn't too thrilled about it.
***
A knock at the door caused Tony to stop packing the messenger bag where he usually carried his tablet and other projects between home and work, but he didn't let the distraction stop him for long. He was in too good of a mood after a presentation of a high-tech missile had been approved by the board, and he just wanted to go home and celebrate. Maybe Steve would want to go out, or they could order take-out and watch a movie so he could cross out another movie from his 'Must Watch' list.
"Tony?" Obadiah peered his head in the room, and walked in as he noticed that he seemed to be ready to take off. "Mind if we talk for a minute?"
"Oh, um. Can it be fast? I kind of need to be somewhere." Technically not for sure, not really, but there was someone waiting for him at home. Someone who he wanted to share his successful project with and, even if it was something that he never thought he would care about, he just wanted to celebrate. Obadiah seemed to have a troubled look on his face, though, and Tony unconsciously paused at his desk. "What's the matter? Shouldn't you be all smiles? The missile is going into production tomorrow. Tomorrow I'm going out to the factory to start the process myself."
Obadiah gave a small smile, sitting at the edge of Tony's desk. "How long are you going to keep it up, Tony?"
"Keep what up? The projects?"
"This...marriage of yours."
Tony rolled his eyes, picking up his bag. "Of all things to talk about today, you pick this? The board is happy, Obie. Can you please let it go?"
"Tony, you need to think this through."
"So you keep saying."
"And I'll keep saying it until you listen. Look--"
Tony took Obadiah by the shoulders, looking him square in the eye. "No. You look. Things are going well, the board is happy, I'm happy. Let it go, please. I'll talk to you later, yeah?" Without waiting for a response, Tony smiled and headed towards the door. "Gotta go celebrate. You should do the same!"
Obadiah didn't answer, his jaw clenching shut as he watched Tony walk away.
***
"So, tomorrow we start production. Can you believe it?" Tony popped open the champagne bottle with a whoop, and laughed as the bubbles started spraying throughout the kitchen. Steve seemed more amused than anything, and Tony offered the bottle rather than serving a glass. "Come on, say something!"
"I'm glad everything went well." Steve grinned and took the bottle; not to drink from it, but to serve the champagne in the two glasses that had already been taken out but forgotten amidst Tony's excitement. "It sounds like things are picking up."
"Oh, more than that. I have a few more projects lined up, this is just the one that I had to finish. It's gorgeous. The design itself is perfect, but you should see it in action. In fact, when it's done I'll take you out so you can see it being tested. I'd be interested to hear your perspective on it, since you have some experience in a war zone."
Steve just nodded, taking a sip of his glass of champagne with a small smile growing on his lips. "You're pretty happy, huh?"
Tony thought about the question, but didn't have to for very long. "Yes. I... Yeah, I am."
"Good. Good, I'm glad. I'm sure if things keep going this way, your probation will be done in no time."
The drink that Tony had taken seemed to lodge itself in his throat, and it was a wonder that he didn't end up choking on it. Rather than answering right away, he served himself more champagne to the point that it was as if he wanted to drown himself with it. Noticing this, Steve tried to take the bottle away but Tony was quick to pull it back. "Celebrating, remember?"
"I thought you had to work tomorrow."
"I do."
"Then maybe you shouldn't drink so much tonight."
"Well, we have to celebrate that you're almost free, right?" The words were said with a sharper tone than Tony originally intended, but before Steve could question him about it he just set his glass down. "You're right, though, I need to get some sleep. Don't stay up too late."
Steve, realizing the way that Tony had taken his question, opened his mouth to try and say something to stop him, but had no idea what to say. Was there anything?
They would talk tomorrow, he figured as he sat down in the living room to finish his reading, trying to ignore the way that the door to Tony's bedroom slammed shut.
***
Tony left for work before Steve was up for his morning jog, the morning coffee forgotten and the pot empty for Steve to find. In his attempt to not look too much into it, Steve had just gone out running without spending too much time in the kitchen, but the nagging sensation lingered with him throughout the trail. Not that he wanted it to, he tried to ignore it as much as possible, but it was there with every step along the way.
'We have to celebrate that you're almost free, right?'
No, he should have said. No, he didn't know if he was ready to celebrate that. Because, even if Bucky was right and he was busying himself with Tony so he didn't have to deal with feeling alone, he wasn't sure if he was ready for their time together to end. It was nothing sexual, or even physical; ever since Vegas, the most they had shared were random touches that were mostly accidental. But the companionship, the easy conversations, it all made it so easy to spend time with Tony that the thought of suddenly not being able to do so caused conflicting emotions.
He would have to talk to him later, he concluded as he neared their block. They would have to talk, and maybe celebrate how Tony had wanted to do the previous night. Maybe...
The train of thought disappeared as he caught sight of one of the Stark Industries cars pulling up in front of their building, and Pepper stepping out with tears reflecting in her eyes.
"Mr. Rogers," she said as he approached her, her chin trembling as she did her best to keep her emotions in check. "You... There has been an accident."
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5
Never Say Never
===============
"So... Vegas, huh?"
Steve hadn't made it to the elevator after he had left the suite. The second the door had closed, the sense of panic that had been bubbling under the surface ever since he had woken up had suddenly burst and he had been quick to dial Bucky's number as he walked through the hallway.
Now that he had him on the other end of the line, though, Steve had no idea what to say. Although he didn't sound as angry as the woman on Tony's phone had sounded, and he definitely didn't sound how Obadiah Stane had, Bucky still didn't sound thrilled that his best friend had gotten married in Vegas. To Tony Stark, of all people.
"Do I call you 'Mr. Stark' now?" Bucky continued, and now Steve could hear a faint smirk on his voice. "Or are you getting him to take your name? I'm hurt that I didn't get an invitation."
"Well, when I remember what happened, I'll make sure to give you all the details." Steve closed his eyes, leaning against the wall by the elevator as he fought the headache and the nausea that threatened to make his stomach turn. "God, of all things that could have happened."
"Yeah." A pause. "I never thought..."
"Don't," Steve just mumbled, sighing under his breath. "When we get back, I don't... We're not going to. You know."
"No, I don't know. You're not going to, what?" They both stayed silent, but the lack of response seemed to be enough of an answer for Bucky. "Seriously? You're going to stay married? To him, of all people? You just met him!"
"It's complicated."
"It's really not. This isn't you, Steve."
Steve let out a humorless laugh. "The drinking, or the marrying?"
"The everything."
"Yeah, well. You wanted me to have fun, right?" Steve shook his head almost as soon as he uttered the words, and he sighed. "Sorry, I'm dealing with the hangover from hell. I shouldn't have said that. I just wanted to check in, let you know everything's okay. I saw the missed calls."
Bucky chuckled quietly. "Right, about that. Sorry for blowing up your phone like that. I just thought it was some...weird joke."
'Yes,' Steve wanted to say, 'I still think that it is.' He didn't say it, though; instead, he just straightened up and pressed the button for the elevator. He needed to get some fresh air. He had no idea where he was going, but he just needed to take a walk and clear his head. "I'll talk to you later, yeah? Don't do anything crazy while I'm gone."
"How can I? You took all the crazy with you."
Shaking his head, Steve hung up after saying goodbye and tried to focus on the buttons of the elevator so that the sudden movements wouldn't make his nausea worse.
Once the doors opened, though, and he walked through the lobby, the nausea came back with a vengeance; especially as the horde of reporters and paparazzi blinded him with their cameras as he did his best to avoid them by rushing back to the room.
***
"Look, Pep-- Pepper. Pepper, just have some clothes sent up for us."
Pepper stayed silent on the other side of the line as Tony toyed with a new water bottle. Finally, "What size should I get for... I'm sorry, what's his last name? Your...husband's."
Tony stopped moving at once, suddenly realizing that he had never bothered to ask. Or had he? If he had, he just couldn't remember. Looking around, almost wishing that Steve had forgotten his wallet so he could take a peek at his driver's license, he saw the folded piece of paper on the nightstand and at once dove for it. Steven Rogers, the marriage certificate read. The marriage certificate that Tony wanted to burn in hopes that, if he did it, it would somehow erase this whole mess that they were in.
"Tony?"
Pepper's voice brought him back to reality, and at once he cleared his throat. "Yeah. Uh. Rogers. His last name is Rogers."
Pepper paused for a second but, as she spoke again, her voice softened. "How are you doing?"
The question made Tony want to laugh, but there was nothing funny about this. No, he thought, he didn't want to laugh. He wanted to just hide. After his parents had died, he had left the United States and hid in various countries throughout Europe until it was time for him to return to take his father's company. Now, as stupid and as childish as it was (or so his father's ghost sneered in his ear), he just wanted to disappear again.
"I'm fine," he just answered before Pepper could ask again. "I'll text you in a few minutes, I don't... I need to check what size he wants." Steve stormed into the room then, looking flustered and out of breath, which caused Tony's train of thought to derail. "I'll call you back, yeah? Thanks, Pep." After hanging up, he set the phone aside and jumped out of bed at once. "What happened?"
"Reporters. The whole lobby is full of reporters."
"Are you okay? We can just, you know, order room service. Sorry, I should have probably thought about that." As Steve disappeared into the bathroom, Tony busied himself by calling in room service. He had no idea what Steve wanted, so one of everything was ordered and once it was all delivered he sat on the bed with a cup of coffee and a doughnut.
It wasn't until he was on his second serving that Steve walked out of the bathroom, and at the sight of so much food throughout the room he couldn't help but smirk. "Is this so we never have to go out of the room?"
Tony shrugged, a faint smile on his face. "One can only wish." He stayed silent as he served himself his own coffee, and after a moment he blurted out the question that had been burning deep in him ever since Steve had stepped in to talk to Obadiah. "Why did you do it, Steve?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You know what I'm talking about." Tony leaned back against the backboard of the bed while Steve did the same next to him. "Don't get me wrong. Like I said, I'm thankful for it. But you didn't seem thrilled about the idea when I first brought it up."
Steve looked down at his cup of coffee, swirling the dark liquid around as Tony turned to look at him. "You looked like you needed the help."
"So you're doing it out of pity."
"I wasn't aware that help meant pity." Turning to look back at him, Steve noticed how it was now Tony's turn to look away in what seemed to be frustration, and he sighed. "It's temporary, alright? Just...let it go."
"'Let it go'? We're MARRIED." Tony frowned, turning to him. "This isn't help. This is-- It's marriage."
"What, and you don't think I know that? Weren't you the one that stressed the importance of what this meant?"
"I just. I don't get it. We just met, and of all things..."
Steve stayed silent, simply staring at his now husband before answering quietly. "Not everything has an ulterior motive, Tony. Now, we should probably cover a few things if you want to convince people that this wasn't a quickie marriage with a complete stranger. Like... I don't know. Do you even know my last name? Did we mention that last night?"
Tony still didn't seem convinced with Steve's answer, but just nodded at the question. "Yeah. I mean, I don't know if we did, but I know your last name. Or, well, I had some help." He nodded towards the marriage certificate, and suddenly couldn't help the small smile on his lips. "Honestly, I'm surprised we managed to remember our names last night. Do you remember anything?"
"I remember the bar, and drinks. A lot of drinks, obviously. But no, nothing more than that. I'm not sure if that's better or worse than actually remembering." Steve finished his coffee and set his mug aside. "So, details. I'm Steve Rogers. I'm a law student."
"I do remember that part, too."
"Yeah, and speaking of, I have a test tomorrow that I can't really miss."
Tony set his own mug aside. "Are you really willing to brave the public this week?" At Steve's sudden horrified look as he realized he might miss his test, Tony quickly added, "But we can figure something out. I mean, I can pull a few strings and get you an extension. Maybe your professor can have you take the test elsewhere. I'll have Pepper look into it. I promise, she'll figure it out. She can work miracles."
Steve took a moment to look normal again but, once he finally did, he just stared at Tony as if waiting for something. When Tony simply stared back, he smirked faintly. "Your turn."
"For what?"
"To share. Details, remember?"
For a moment Tony didn't know how to answer, so he didn't answer right away. Finally, "Everything you want to know about me is published. I swear, I think I had a publicist the second that I was born."
"I doubt everything has been published about you."
"You're not too familiar with the press, huh?" Tony took one of the pillows from the floor, and propped himself up with it. "Anthony Edward Stark. Son of Howard and Maria Stark, born in Long Island. My father was a brilliant weapons manufacturer, and I have followed in his footsteps. I built my first circuit board when I was four, and my first engine after that. I graduated from MIT when I was seventeen, and--"
Steve raised his hand to stop him. "Alright, thanks for giving me the biography version of you, but how about something more convincing."
"What are you talking about?"
"Tony, anyone can read that stuff up and figure it out. If I really had been your boyfriend, what kind of things would I know?"
Once again Tony was rendered speechless, because that kind of question was something he just wasn't used to, and... Well, he really had no idea what to say. He had never had a real girlfriend - or boyfriend - that he let in for more than a few nights into his life. "My best friend is in the army," he said after what felt like an eternity of silence. "His name is James Rhodes. Or, well, Rhodey. Right now he is overseas, and has been for a few months now."
"Okay, that's good. What else should I know?"
"I have an assistant. Pepper."
"Pepper?"
Tony chuckled at his perplexed expression. "Nickname. Her name is Virginia Potts."
Steve smirked. "You're big on nicknames, I take it?"
"Something like that. Pepper. Rhodey. Obie, who you met this morning." A beat. "Which, by the way, sorry about that. He's a little overprotective of me; he was my dad's best friend. Other than that, there's really nothing else." There's no one else, he almost said, but just shrugged instead. "What about you?"
"Well, you met Bucky yesterday. He's my best friend. We've known each other since we were kids."
"Sounds like I'm not the only one that likes nicknames."
Steve chuckled. "Yeah, I guess."
"What about your parents?"
The smile that had been lingering on Steve's face faded, and his brow furrowed slightly as he seemed to focus on the ceiling above them. "Gone, too. Mom ever since I was twelve. Dad... He's been gone for four months now."
Tony had been listening in silence but, at his words, he went completely and absolutely still. Only someone who had lost a parent could understand that loss, and the grief that came along with it, but Tony still couldn't face it himself - how could he say anything to Steve? He just knew that he couldn't say 'I'm sorry,' not because he didn't feel sympathy for his loss but because he had hated those words after the accident. He had wanted to yell and scream at everybody who had gone up to him and said how sorry they were, because they seemed so hollow and empty. The last thing he wanted to offer Steve was hollow and empty.
Instead, Tony tentatively rested a hand on Steve's arm as if to say, you aren't alone. I know what you're going through - you aren't alone. Because, even if Tony wasn't used to being able to count on someone, and even if emotions in general were complicated and confusing for him, the fact that Steve had been willing to help him made him want to help him, too.
When he didn't say anything else, he began to move so he could get out of bed and shower but, before he could do so, Steve rested his own hand on Tony's shoulder as if to say, you aren't alone, either.
***
The weekend was spent in their suite, the hours ticking by as they talked and continued getting to know each other. They avoided talking about their parents, but covered everything from baseball to music preferences, and only paused when Tony mentioned he wasn't a big fan of movies; how he never seemed to have the time or patience for them. This had caused Steve to immediately reach for a notepad and a pen, and started compiling a list of 'MUST WATCH' movies that Tony needed to catch up immediately, because how could someone not like the movies?
Of course, this list caused Tony to start creating his own list but instead of movies it was made of songs that Steve needed to listen to, because how could someone not have more than one AC/DC album in their collection?
As their weekend ended, Steve told Tony about his love for art, and how if he would have been able to do anything he would have taken time off from life in general so he could just spend it traveling and drawing, and Tony had to stop himself from offering to make that wish a reality.
This was temporary, Tony had to remember. Because, even if it wasn't, he couldn't imagine that someone as normal as Steve could really be interested in someone like him.
***
"Can I ask you something that you didn't really cover?"
Steve looked over to Tony as he finished packing a suitcase with some of the clothes that Pepper had sent them. Honestly, the amount of clothes seemed to equal the number he had in his closet back in Brooklyn, but throughout the weekend Tony had kept claiming how there was nothing to wear even if they never left the room. Now their plane was scheduled to leave in two hours, and they had both been quiet as they tried to wrap their head around the fact that this would be the first time they would be out and about since the news of their marriage had broken out. "Sure. What is it?"
"You're a military man." It wasn't a question, but a statement. It seemed to take Steve by surprise, but Tony only smiled. "You have certain...poses that only people from the military have. The way you fold your clothes, too. I see it all the time with Rhodey."
Steve continued folding his clothes, not answering right away. "Yes," he finally said. "It was a couple of years ago, though."
Tony just nodded without another word, but that didn't last long. "That scar, on your shoulder. Is it from combat?" Because, even if they hadn't been physical with each other after sobering up, Tony had caught a glimpse of the scars on his shoulder while Steve changed shirts the previous morning.
"You notice a lot of things, don't you."
"It's more of a I know what to look for kind of thing." Tony busied himself with the shirt he was folding, but it was hard to tell if he was stalling or simply had no idea how to really fold. "My dad was raised by a military man." The words came out before he could stop them, and Tony himself looked surprised. "He wasn't one himself," he continued after a moment, "but you could see the influence in him."
Steve went still, noticing the way that Tony's demeanor changed. Neither had truly said more than one or two words about their parents - especially their fathers - so the words definitely took Steve by surprise. "Do you think you have that same influence?"
Tony let out a laugh that sounded almost bitter as he closed up his suitcase after simply stuffing the clothes in. "I'm not like my father."
"That's not what I meant."
Setting down his suitcase with a loud thump, Tony bristled towards the dresser to get his wallet. "We should get going. The driver should be here soon."
***
The drive to the airport had been done in absolute silence, and that didn't change even after they were up in the air. Tony kept himself busy either by looking out the window, or flipping through a magazine, but not once had he turned to look at Steve anymore. It was such a change from how his attitude had been throughout the weekend that Steve wasn't sure what to make of it.
"Do you want to go over anything before we get back?" he asked, but Tony didn't even glance his way. Drumming his fingers on the armrest, Steve looked out his window for a moment but caught himself staring at Tony's reflection.
What are you doing, Rogers? he asked himself for the thousandth time this weekend but, like with every other time, found himself unable to answer.
"My dad was a military man, too." Steve drummed his fingers on the armrest again, not sure if he was doing so out of his uneasiness with flying or because he was talking about his dad. "All his life, actually. He always had a devotion to his country that was unparalleled with anything else, and it was hard not to learn from him. In...everything."
Tony turned to him then. "Is that why you went into the military, too?"
The smile that played on Steve's lips was sad as he looked down at the armrest. "No. He actually didn't want me to follow his footsteps. He wanted me to do anything I wanted, but not join the military. He was adamant about it, but I didn't listen. I didn't want to. I figured, he had gone into the military, why not me. So...Bucky and I joined as soon as we could."
"Really?" When Steve turned to look at him, Tony smiled faintly. "I never pegged you for the rebellious type."
"I'm not. That was my most...rebellious thing I've ever done. Unless you count getting married in Vegas as rebellious."
"Depends who you ask, probably." Noticing that now it was Steve's turn to stay silent, Tony did the only thing he could think of doing: change the subject. "I don't think I ever asked you something. If we wouldn't have...you know. Gotten married. Would you have ever... You know. I mean. Yeah."
Steve blinked at Tony's small ramble, and couldn't help but laugh. "What are you talking about?"
"Would you have. Well. Not gotten married, that's not-- Well. No, I guess I do mean that."
"Tony."
"Would you have...married a man?"
This time Steve's silence wasn't because of his discomfort in having to talk about a subject that he rarely ever mentioned; it was because he himself didn't know the answer to Tony's question. "No," he finally answered in what was the most honest answer he had. "You?"
The answer had caused something in Tony to stir violently within him, but he didn't show it. Instead, he just forced out one of his most convincing smirks as he leaned back against his seat. "Of course not. I'm Tony Stark. I'm not the marrying type at all, Rogers."
***
On Monday after The Big Weekend, as people throughout Stark Industries (and, well, the world) called it, Tony made it to his office without Pepper having to drag him in. If anything, he had been in the board room bright and early, and even stayed awake throughout the whole meeting. He paid attention, he wrote notes, and when the subject of his probation came up, Tony forced himself to just listen to everybody taking their turns ranting at him before he explained that no, the marriage wasn't a sham, that he knew what he was doing, and that it would be okay. They were happy. He would change, and for the better. Wasn't that what was good for business?
They hadn't been quick to agree, but eventually they had no choice but to say that the probation would still be in place for now. One more incident, and things could change, but in the meantime they needed him to get down to business.
When Steve arrived to the loft in Manhattan where he and Tony were staying, he just found a message on the phone from Tony, saying that he had some work to do in the lab and would see him later.
'Later' was past midnight, and they both fell asleep on the couch before they could figure out sleeping arrangements.
***
It became a habit, of sorts; Tony would go to work, Steve would go to school, and the evenings and nights were spent in Tony's lab. Tony would busy himself with designs and new projects, and Steve would study or watch a movie. Sometimes they just listened to music. Sometimes they just worked in a comfortable silence that neither could figure out or explain.
The habit had been born out of a need to put up appearances, just in case someone dropped by or tried to catch them in their farce, but it became something else entirely as time moved along. One week turned to two, and then the weeks merged into a month, and the ease that they pretended to have was no longer just pretend. Steve would make sure that Tony would eat something, and at least nap even if he insisted that he needed to finish his project; Tony would always have fresh coffee prepared for them in the mornings, and made sure to lower the volume of his music if Steve had a test to study for.
Pepper noticed a change in her boss, but she never said it outloud. She never pointed it out, because she was afraid to scare it away. More importantly, she was afraid that she would jinx it, because even if she hadn't worked with Tony for very long, she could see the difference in him. The ease he had in his projects, the level of concentration he had during meetings. The board noticed it, and she knew Mr. Stane noticed it as well.
And, if she didn't know any better, she would be willing to bet that he wasn't too thrilled about it.
***
A knock at the door caused Tony to stop packing the messenger bag where he usually carried his tablet and other projects between home and work, but he didn't let the distraction stop him for long. He was in too good of a mood after a presentation of a high-tech missile had been approved by the board, and he just wanted to go home and celebrate. Maybe Steve would want to go out, or they could order take-out and watch a movie so he could cross out another movie from his 'Must Watch' list.
"Tony?" Obadiah peered his head in the room, and walked in as he noticed that he seemed to be ready to take off. "Mind if we talk for a minute?"
"Oh, um. Can it be fast? I kind of need to be somewhere." Technically not for sure, not really, but there was someone waiting for him at home. Someone who he wanted to share his successful project with and, even if it was something that he never thought he would care about, he just wanted to celebrate. Obadiah seemed to have a troubled look on his face, though, and Tony unconsciously paused at his desk. "What's the matter? Shouldn't you be all smiles? The missile is going into production tomorrow. Tomorrow I'm going out to the factory to start the process myself."
Obadiah gave a small smile, sitting at the edge of Tony's desk. "How long are you going to keep it up, Tony?"
"Keep what up? The projects?"
"This...marriage of yours."
Tony rolled his eyes, picking up his bag. "Of all things to talk about today, you pick this? The board is happy, Obie. Can you please let it go?"
"Tony, you need to think this through."
"So you keep saying."
"And I'll keep saying it until you listen. Look--"
Tony took Obadiah by the shoulders, looking him square in the eye. "No. You look. Things are going well, the board is happy, I'm happy. Let it go, please. I'll talk to you later, yeah?" Without waiting for a response, Tony smiled and headed towards the door. "Gotta go celebrate. You should do the same!"
Obadiah didn't answer, his jaw clenching shut as he watched Tony walk away.
***
"So, tomorrow we start production. Can you believe it?" Tony popped open the champagne bottle with a whoop, and laughed as the bubbles started spraying throughout the kitchen. Steve seemed more amused than anything, and Tony offered the bottle rather than serving a glass. "Come on, say something!"
"I'm glad everything went well." Steve grinned and took the bottle; not to drink from it, but to serve the champagne in the two glasses that had already been taken out but forgotten amidst Tony's excitement. "It sounds like things are picking up."
"Oh, more than that. I have a few more projects lined up, this is just the one that I had to finish. It's gorgeous. The design itself is perfect, but you should see it in action. In fact, when it's done I'll take you out so you can see it being tested. I'd be interested to hear your perspective on it, since you have some experience in a war zone."
Steve just nodded, taking a sip of his glass of champagne with a small smile growing on his lips. "You're pretty happy, huh?"
Tony thought about the question, but didn't have to for very long. "Yes. I... Yeah, I am."
"Good. Good, I'm glad. I'm sure if things keep going this way, your probation will be done in no time."
The drink that Tony had taken seemed to lodge itself in his throat, and it was a wonder that he didn't end up choking on it. Rather than answering right away, he served himself more champagne to the point that it was as if he wanted to drown himself with it. Noticing this, Steve tried to take the bottle away but Tony was quick to pull it back. "Celebrating, remember?"
"I thought you had to work tomorrow."
"I do."
"Then maybe you shouldn't drink so much tonight."
"Well, we have to celebrate that you're almost free, right?" The words were said with a sharper tone than Tony originally intended, but before Steve could question him about it he just set his glass down. "You're right, though, I need to get some sleep. Don't stay up too late."
Steve, realizing the way that Tony had taken his question, opened his mouth to try and say something to stop him, but had no idea what to say. Was there anything?
They would talk tomorrow, he figured as he sat down in the living room to finish his reading, trying to ignore the way that the door to Tony's bedroom slammed shut.
***
Tony left for work before Steve was up for his morning jog, the morning coffee forgotten and the pot empty for Steve to find. In his attempt to not look too much into it, Steve had just gone out running without spending too much time in the kitchen, but the nagging sensation lingered with him throughout the trail. Not that he wanted it to, he tried to ignore it as much as possible, but it was there with every step along the way.
'We have to celebrate that you're almost free, right?'
No, he should have said. No, he didn't know if he was ready to celebrate that. Because, even if Bucky was right and he was busying himself with Tony so he didn't have to deal with feeling alone, he wasn't sure if he was ready for their time together to end. It was nothing sexual, or even physical; ever since Vegas, the most they had shared were random touches that were mostly accidental. But the companionship, the easy conversations, it all made it so easy to spend time with Tony that the thought of suddenly not being able to do so caused conflicting emotions.
He would have to talk to him later, he concluded as he neared their block. They would have to talk, and maybe celebrate how Tony had wanted to do the previous night. Maybe...
The train of thought disappeared as he caught sight of one of the Stark Industries cars pulling up in front of their building, and Pepper stepping out with tears reflecting in her eyes.
"Mr. Rogers," she said as he approached her, her chin trembling as she did her best to keep her emotions in check. "You... There has been an accident."
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