WHOLE LOTTA LOVE - CHAPTER 11 PART 2
Title: Whole Lotta Love
Chapters: 11.2 /??
Author: luna_no_koibito
Genre: Romance, Life
Warnings: men/men relationship, cursing, sex, violence.
FOR THIS STORY the band NIGHTMARE will be a PS Company band
Rating: from PG -15 to PG -17 (Depending on chapter)
Pairing: Shou,Gackt (main) Ruki/Hyde, Kai/Ruka, Hiroto/Reita, Miyavi/Hizaki
(more pairs will appear as the story proceeds)
Bands: Gazette, Alice Nine, Nightmare, Versailles, Kra (for now ...)
Summary:
Year: 2004
Scene: ( Read more... )
Extra: ( FIRST FIC. ENGLISH not the BEST but ... )
MAIN
Chapter 11 part 1
To his greatest surprise, Ruki had calmly awaken from the best sleep he'd had in two years, no tossing and turning, no nightmares, no tears rolling down his cheeks at his rousing, and not in his own bed. He felt peaceful and serene, and everything around him felt as such, it did, until by consciously noticing such difference, he unwillingly reminded himself, of what he had convinced himself that his minds was almost supposed to be thinking of instead, as if it were a duty for his restless soul, to have to commiserate himself, to remind himself how miserable he was. However, the fact of the matter was that he had waken up happy, and no matter how little he understood of it, he knew that it part of it surely was due to the honey blond's presence, which, as he swiftly turned to the other side of the bed, he found missing.
-Ohayou … - suddenly exclaimed a familiar voice coming from the bedroom's entrance -you slept like a log, even though I have been continuously rushing out to the bathroom … terrible hangover- Uruha smirked, as he walked in towards the now sat up vocalist, with a breakfast tray on a min-stand, which he placed over the younger's legs.
-... ohayou ...- cautiously replied Ruki, still feeling rather uncomfortable to the fact that even though they hadn't done anything, he did in fact woke up in Uruha's bed -... what's this? ...- he then skeptically inquired, pointing at the tray, on the breakfast stand that was so nonchalantly placed over his laps
-Well breakfast you silly … what else? - calmly replied the honey blonde, taking the cup of orange juice on it -... the coffee is for you … and those pieces of toast as well- he then instructed
-I can see … that … - plainly replied Ruki, staring at the tray -... but ...why? ...- he then hesitantly asked, glancing up at Uruha, who was staring into some random point in front of him, his legged crossed, with the top one coolly swinging.
-What? You don't eat breakfast in the morning? ...- swiftly asked Uruha, looking down at the tray with a faint smile, then looking at the still pondering vocalist he resumed -... if I remember correctly you do drink coffee, and have some- he tried to observe, but was interrupted by the younger
-That's not what I meant Kouyou ...- sighed the vocalist, passing both his hands on his face -... this is usually something you don't do for friends … and we- tried to explain the younger but was now being the one interrupted
-I just felt like it … and ...- swiftly and rather abruptly justified the honey blond -... even though I was drunk out of my ass, I know what I said, and I meant it … all of it - he continued, assuming a stern expression - I like you Takanori - he then stated in a firm voice, placing his empty glass on the tray, as revolved his unwavering gaze up to the younger, who almost unknowingly shivered at the sound of those three words -... and … I ...- he then paused, lowering his head to his digits, which were absently fidgeting with the bedsheets over Ruki's knees
-I know you don't … and it's alright, because there is nothing I can do about my feeling for you as it is ...- he then concluded, sarcastically smiling to himself -so eat up will you? ...I'll go take a quick shower ...- he announced, and left for his bathroom.
He stayed unmoving, staring at the cup of coffee on the tray, which he had to admit he was really craving for. However, he didn't know what to do, never in his life he'd had such a problem from a mere cup of coffee, for he felt like if he had now drank it he would have somehow accepted Uruha's feelings, even though the taller had clarified that he knew his to be a one sided affair. On the other hand, he didn't want to worry the guitarist by not drinking the coffee at all, which could have almost seem like an act of entirely refusing him, not only as a lover, but as friend, and everything else that Uruha was to him.
And exactly what was Uruha to himself, he had no idea, but he began thinking about it, almost seriously, but rather absently, such as the way he absently grabbed the cup of coffee, and began drinking the still hot reinvigorating liquid. Uruha was … so many things. A trusted friend, a reliable person, when sober, an awesome band mate, over all a person of good nature, and now that he thought about it, he did seem to be excessively good-willed around him. The more he thought about it, the more he could suddenly spot tell-tell signs or actions all over his memory, yet he had never taking too much into account.
-Not eating the toast?- suddenly asked Uruha who was coming out of his bathroom, with a towel round his waist, and bare torso, while drying his hair with a second towel - ...cause if not I will ...- he announced, sitting in the same position had earlier, he then snatched one of the two pieces of toast, and placing it in his mouth in an intentional goofy way, he was able to make the younger smirk.
-... Something you like? - Uruha then inquired looking at Ruki with a malicious grin, given that the younger had definitely been staring at the honey blond, in random areas below his jaw and above his waist.
-No not really ...- brushed away Ruki in a low tone, averting his gaze from the satisfied face of the taller, as he hoped his cheeks wouldn't betray him by displaying that one distinctive color, which was apt to easily give away people.
-... No point in denying ...Ruki-chan ...- calmly replied Uruha, finishing his toast, as he continued observing the younger with a diverted expression.
-Tsk … is not like I haven't seen you without a shirt before … or even pants at that- skeptically grinned the younger, trying very ungracefully to cover his momentary slip - maybe is just that with all you drink I would have expected you to have a nice belly by now ...- then chuckled the shorter
-I actually do exercise every once in a while. In particular abs oriented exercises, and I most say I am quite proud of the result - happily exclaimed the blond, patting his abdominal area - Wanna touch and feel for yourself? … eyes can be deceiving you know ...- pointed out the elder in a diverted tone, which though seemed to allude to something else.
-No thanks ...- replied the short, slightly shifting in the bed -... I'll take your word on that -
-Okay … if you say so ...- replied the taller - do you want to shower? -
-That wouldn't be a bad idea if you don't mind ...- nonchalantly replied Ruki, moving the tray from his legs -... usual place?- he questioned getting of the bed, and directing himself towards the taller's wardrobe
-Yup … everything is in the same place - calmly replied Uruha, as he slightly leaned backwards intently observing the shorter's ass bending to look for a spare towel inside the drawers -... well I, do see something I like ...- he then breathed out under his nose, apparently not low enough, because Ruki had heard, and quickly raised from his bent position feeling a body against his and hands on his wasit
-What are you doing?- quickly questioned the shorter, trying to turn around, but stopped by Uruha's, face, which leaned forward with his lips firmly pressed around his ear lob prevent him from any movement -... what? Going to rape me?- sarcastically smirked the shorter -
-That wouldn't be a bad idea … the way I see it- whispered Uruha, slowly moving his lips down Ruki's neck
-Kouyou stop ...- hesitantly inquired the shorter, mentally wanting to slap himself really hard for actually seem to be appreciating the taller blond's actions, which he highly attributed to being sex deprived in a way, and he really hoped it was just that because at the moment, he wasn't too sure himself - … stop it … we'll be late for work … - he almost begged, soon after feeling the other's body away from his, as he deeply breathed out in relief, trying his best to stay up on his own two feet and not collapse on the side of the wardrobe, in order to look completely unaffected to the other's eyes. However, he was pretty sure that his voice hadn't done a good job in hiding that.
-Alright … - plainly replied Uruha in a firm voice -... I'll stop for now, but I'll keep coming at you, until you give me a good reason for me not to do so, which you don't have at the moment - began to explain the older, as Ruki slightly turned around to gaze at him speechless, and disbelieving - … I'll have you - he then concluded, leaning forward, and picking up a towel, he gave it to the still shocked looking vocalist, then walking next to him inside the closet to start selecting his clothes for the day.
Ruki remained silent, and calmly moved out of the way, and into the bathroom, making sure to luck the door, feeling that the other might really attempt to come in, and rape him -the fuck was that … - he whispered to himself, walking towards the sink, and rummaging for his own spare toothbrush among Uruha's. He didn't like the situation, not one bit, in fact until things where to change, and get back to the way they were before, he concluded that it would be wisest for him not the be alone around the other. Thus, he needed to hurry up and get the hell out of the house, still intact, and ass-virgin, for the other didn't seem like he was going to allow it any other way.
-I am ready when you are ready!- yelled Uruha from outside the bathroom -... I left you a pare of clothes on the bed, some you had left here some time a go, I had washed them and didn't return them so … I'll be in the living room, hurry up!- he then concluded in a joking tone
-Okay thanks!- yelled back Ruki, waiting for the step to disappear, and hurry up into the shower, wondering exactly why was he getting all worked up at the matter.
*** --- 888 --- ***
The sun's rays made their usual appearance, through a tiny space between two white almost closed curtains, which pointed directly into the face of a half awakened Hyde, who groggily turned around to avoid the sudden disturbance. He had surprisingly had a good night sleep, even after all that had happened the night before. But truthfully, it really wasn't a surprise, he always would have felt refreshed, or at least better after a night at the bassist house. Testu was his best friend, the first, and last resort for comfort, and understanding, he was the priceless friend that many looked for, and very few had. Even though he knew that nothing lasted forever, he had always considered the bassist as the one person, whom would always be by his side.
That was how it was supposed to be, the few of the certainties he had in life, but now, it was all gone with Tetsu's confession, at the mere thought of which he almost felt like crying once more, but refrained from it, for not only he didn't look forward to the consequential headache, but this time, he wouldn't have been able to run to the bassist; this time he was truly alone. Bits and pieces of the argument they'd had quickly rushed through his mind, as the disappointment, and hurt sprayed all over the other's feature kept reappearing in front of his eyes, which were trying really hard not to cry once again in that very moment. Could things go back the way they were? Oh how he wished they could somehow find a way to erase what had happened. However, it was common knowledge that anything that dealt with love, wasn't anything that could be easily forgotten, or moved on from without any problem, and he knew that too well. It would have hurt, and it would have tormented whomever person suffered from it. Just like Ruki did with his mind and soul, and he really didn't want the same thing to happen to Tetsu, at least not because of himself.
And that thought, same as many other, newly fell on the Ruki. Having seen him at the club, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, had frightened him beyond believe, and he had absolutely no clue of the reason why he had reacted the way he did. Then again, if he carefully thought about it, he knew that he simply couldn't stay. He knew that after breaking up with Sakura, it felt like too much to handle all together, because in his head, Ruki hated him, and had all the right to do so. According to Hyde, Ruki hated his guts, and the older vocalist wasn't ready to hear the blond vocalist literally blurt out all the dislike and anger he felt for him, because he wouldn't have handled such words at the moment, or ever, not from the one person he realized he still loved more than himself.
Thus, what next? Was he going to run forever, run away from Ruki, in fear of whatever verbal bashing he could have receive? Was he really that weak of a human being? The more he reassessed his situation or life all together, the more he realized that he was in fact just that; weak. Always relyiang on somebody, or something, such as his past drug abuse period, even then, he had to rely on Tetsu and Ruki to get out of his addiction. In good, such as Ruki and Tetsu, or in bad, such as Saukra, he was in fact relying on somebody else other than himself. Pathetic. That he was, and the fact that he had no idea regarding what was wise to do, didn't help in the least.
Quickly sitting up on Tetsu's bed, he slowly looked around himself for the sake of it. He probably knew the bassist room, or apartment as that, like the back of his hand, and everything was always in the same exact place. Just like those pictures on the huge frame on top oh his desk. First thing in the morning, if he had happened to wake up at Tetsu's house, that display of pictures would be Hyde's center of attention. He'd get out of the other's bed, walk towards it, and merely stand in front of it and gaze. They were all happy moments, which he had or not partook in, family moments, band moments, random moments, and among them all, there was one in particular that they had taken with just the two of them to test his new camera some time ago. Tetsu looked outright weird, and he himself looked extremely caught off guard, because they thought they had set the timer to ten second, but turned out to have been two instead. It was a darn funny picture, which would make him smile every time he'd see it
So why wasn't he smiling at the moment? Why wasn't it he making him happy anymore? Why could he only spot sorrow in that one picture of the two of them? Perhaps, because all this time that was the symbol of their never-ending friendships, whereas for the bassist it must likely meant something completely different. Now he wondered whether he even treasured their friendship after all, the way that he most certainly did, he wondered whether he was tagging along just to be able to get in his pants like everyone else. Of course he did, Tetsu wasn't that type of person, either love or friendship, he was just that type of person, altruistic until the very end. To the point that even after all that happened, he had still allowed him to sleep in his bed instead as he slept on the couch.
Couch where he supposedly was still laying on, like all the times, waiting for him to wake up, and have breakfast. He was on the other side of the wooden door, which the vocalist was now standing in front of dreading the idea of ever having to open it. However, that wasn't his house, and at least for the day and the present situation, he had most certainly passed his stay, and going to his own house was one of the wisest things he could probably do. Taking a deep breath, and training his expression into a relaxed one, he cautiously opened the door, and walked out, stopping to gently close it behind himself. Making his way down the corridor, he passed by the kitchen noticing that it had been set with food for one person, the sight of which quickly, and utterly unsettled him.
Feeling a very bad sensation at the pitt of his stomach, he picked up his pace and walked straight to the living room, which to his own dismay, he found empty. Tetsu wasn't there, and the probability of him maybe being somewhere else in the apartment was quickly destroyed as he noticed a blue piece of paper on his empty brown coffee-table. He slowly walked towards the table, hesitantly took up the paper, and began reading.
To Hideki
Good morning. I am sorry about what happened
yesterday, I have no idea what have gotten into me
please do forget I had even said anything on thoselines.
I had to make some errands, but I made
breakfast for you in the kitchen. I don't know when I will be
back, so if you need to get back home, there is a spare pare of
keys next to your breakfast in the kitchen, you can have it.
Tetsu.
Sighing, the vocalist placed the note on the coffee-table where he had got it from, and directed himself towards the kitchen, where as stated in the note, a single key was laying next to his breakfast. He couldn't help but sigh once more, after everything, he still made him breakfast, he truly was an angel on Earth, yet, why couldn't he ever seem to be able to fall for people of his kind; why couldn't he have fallen for Tetsu. It was was too late for that now though. From the note, it seemed like the bassist had resumed being the jolly person that he was, but of course, letters on a piece of paper can be written with so much love, just as much as with hate.
Breakfast had been good, as always, and after doing the dishes, he contemplated the idea of staying, and waiting for the elder, in order to try and fix things a little bit. However, even though the words expressed on the letter were far from being menacing, he had the feeling that the other simply didn't want him around; and he feared that. Thus, he quickly picked up the key, and left to go and grab a taxi. So much for being free from Sakura, so much for seeing Ruki again; so much for having Tetsu after all. At the moment, life positively sucked.
Chapter 12 part 1
Hello hello! Yeah still here, still intending to finish this somehow. Lol, no worries, it is not somehow, just there are so many ideas that are traveling in my head, and being this my first story, there many things that I feel like I could have done better. But it is okay. The number of chapters had been decided as well so .. yeah … well also. This will be the last chapter that I am going to post in communities, but I will be posting them on my journal, so if anyone is interested then do please visit my fanfiction archive to find this story. Thank you very much for reading, I appreciate it.