Detour - Chapter 4 / Prologue + 7 + Epilogue
Title: Detour
Chapters: 4 / 7 + Epilogue
Author: luna_no_koibito
Dedicated to: hyprakktiv
Genre: Romance, Angst, Human Drama
Warnings: mention of sexual activity, cursing
Rating: PG-15
Pairing: Reita/ Kai
Bands: the GazettE, Dir En Gray
Disclaimer: I don't own them, and don't wish I did because I'd be sorry for what could befall them （・＿・；）！
Summary: Love is to Life, what a detour is to a road. It comes unexpected, and if we choose to not turn back and take it, it will supposedly lead us to where we think it should. Yutaka is a 21-year old university student in the faculty of transportation engineering, and roads are no secrets to him. In fact, he sees life as a giant map, which he believes he has figured out. However, life is about to detour him into a road he though he had closed long time ago, when it decides to reunite him with his first love. Will he turn back, or follow the detour? And in the case he where to follow said detour … will it take where he thinks it should?
*-@ MAIN @-*
*-@ CHAPTER 3 @-*
On An Old Bridge :
“There Are Usually Warning Signs Before; Signs Have a Purpose, and Need to Be Read”
One month to Valentine's day …
Trapped.
That's how he felt, albeit in a very comfortable, and seemingly well protected refuge, but trapped nevertheless, in the increasingly mysterious company of the one person he ironically was sure he truthfully loved, and of those ever growing feelings of sticky mistrust, and ultimately unexplainable fear. Feelings that in the eye of anyone that knew them well, if there even existed such person anymore, would have seemed to be incredibly unfounded
-Ne … Takanori ...- hesitantly called Yutaka, as he helped the shorter pulling up the store's shutter
-Nani nani? ...- quickly and cheerfully chanted the younger, as he unlocked Metrò's main entrance while whistling a random tune, all signs that he'd apparently had an extremely good morning, which Yutaka had no doubt it had something to do with a certain electrical engineer, and hopefully, not his; … did he really just thought that?
-Do you happen to know … what Kouyou is doing ... here in Osaka? - he cautiously inquired, trying to look as nonchalant as possible, while he followed the shorter inside the store
-What kind of question is that? ...- smirked Takanori, nonchalantly walking towards the shop's main window, pulling the gigantic white curtains aside, turning around to face Yutaka, who was silently staring at him with a clear expression, which indicate that he needed more that just a vague answer -... o-of course I know - indignantly stuttered Takanori, looking like an accused under trail
-... which … is?- carefully pressed Yutaka, hoping that what the younger might tell him, corresponded with what Akira had stated, and it felt so horrible to have to do so, it really felt so wrong to doubt a loved one; because it felt like doubting one own self; but what else was he to do? He had no idea of what else to do, not without destroying the balance him and Akira had, and he really wasn't ready to lose that at all
-He is here on an internship … - annoyingly replied Takanori, turning around to glare at Yutaka, who was bringing out racks of clothes from the back, while slowly nodding at whatever Takanori had stated, gesture which seemed to be further irritating the shorter -he moved to Okinawa at the age of seventeen where he met you oh so perfect Akira, after which they went to Todai together, he will graduate sometime this coming spring, has a parrot, and he is exquisite in bed, anything else you want to know? - vexatiously inquired Takanori
-No … chill out ...- nervously stated Yutaka, walking passed him -... I was just curious that's all ...- he concluded, one second sighing in relief, and seconds later wracking his head with a completely new doubt that came completely out of nowhere;... what if they had planned to say the same thing? No, that just could be, and he had to quickly stop such thought process, because thoughts like that could quickly become obsessive, and that he had no need for
-What? You think that just because we didn't happen to know each other since when we were in a womb, or had some sort to faithful reunion, that we can't be as perfect as you two are?- defensively spat the younger; … did they really look that perfect?
If he'd question his mind, which would rationally and easily put together what his eyes would see, or what his ears would constantly hear from the elder, his brain would also eventually reach the same conclusions; that they were perfect. Every single part of his being would; all, but his heart. Heart which differently from his brain, on which sanity he hadn't been able to truly rely on, he knew to be best to most likely listen to, because such as with the feeling he had for Akira, it had never deceived him.
Even now, as he tenderly woke up next to an already smiling and awake Akira, who was laying on his side, and whom had apparently been watching him for quite some time, even in sweet moments such as this, he could feel that sensation creeping all around them
-Good morning gorgeous … - kindly whispered the blond, leaning in to bestow on him a tender an slow good morning kiss -... you look so beautiful when you sleep, did you know that? ...- he whispered, slightly pulling away, to lovingly stare into Yutaka's quite awake gaze, which would immediately pick on the superficial layer of devotion and care depicted in the elder's orbs, but as he tried to read deeper he'd always meet that barrier.
-That's … not possible ...- tenderly smiled and yawned the brunette, keeping eye contact with the elder, who wrapped an arm around his waist, and after giving him another slow kiss, he grazed his lips on his face all the way down into his ear
-... then how do you explain me already wanting you so badly? ...- seductively whispered the elder, then gently nibbling on his ear lob, as he retracted his hand from Yutaka's waist, to soothingly pass it down the younger's arm, slowly reaching down to his hand, which he intertwined with
-... well … - began to reply the younger, pausing for a second caught unawares by a sudden low moan, generated by the incredibly gratifying ministration that Akira's tongue and lips were currently giving his neck - … why … don't you tell me? ...- he manged to inquire, as the elder raised his head to curiously stare back at him
-Baby ...- called Yutaka, looking back into the house, from outside the balcony, spotting the elder, who was currently intensely typing something at on his laptop
-Yes baby? ...- serenely replied the blond, stopping his typing, and revolving his gaze towards the younger
-I was wondering ...- hesitantly began Yutaka, not quite knowing why he was so scared about asking the following question. Then again, he knew exactly why he was scared, he was scared of the answer he'd receive. Many were the ways the elder could have replied; but there was a single one that Yutaka wanted to hear -... for winter break you know … how about ...- he resumed, and newly paused quickly glimpsing at the blond, as if to make sure that he still had his attention - … we go back to Okinawa? - he finally proposed, at which the blond merely smiled, closing his laptop, and getting up to join the younger on the balcony
-Well baby, I have already bought tickets for us to go to Sapporo ...- he nonchalantly replied, wrapping his arms around the younger's waist from behind, who swiftly turned his head and looked up at the blond dumbly blinking his eyes in confusion; … exactly the answer he didn't want to hear
-... Sa-sa-sapporo? ...- stuttered Yutaka, reeving a wide grin from the blond, from which he slowly moved his gaze, turning it back forwards towards the sunset he had been blankly gazing at -... you … never told me … any of this ...- he then lowly stated, sounding slightly dejected, because he had the feeling this would have happen, and it wasn't the going to Sapporo; but the avoiding Okinawa
-Well I wanted it to be a surprise ...- calmly replied the elder, nuzzling his face against the brunette's hair
-But … what if I had plans? Buying air tickets just like that ...- gingerly protested Yutaka, at which the elder merely smirked -... it not funny you know? And as far as I know, tickets are not that cheap ...- he scolded, newly turning around to glare at the blond -... I don't want you to be spending all this money on me Akira, it's a lot, and I doubt an internship pays as much, you should- he tried to explain, but was softly shushed be the elder, who lowered his head to place his cheeks against the younger
-You don't worry about that ...- he quickly stated, slightly turning to kiss said cheek, and quickly resuming as soon as Yutaka's lips moved to retort something -... all I want you to do is to relax and enjoy, alright? does are details that I have under control and that you shouldn't worry about … - he precised
-But Akira- sadly whined Yutaka, as he absently continued to stare at the sunset
-Uh-uh ...- quickly interject the elder -...I want you to be able to live carelessly, and free of worries, so let me alright? - quickly added the elder - … I just want you to be happy - he then whispered tightening the grips around the younger
And he was, he really was, which was why a great part of himself was still hanging on to the hope that he was just being paranoid as usual. Hanging to the simple affectionate gestures that the other would do, to his obvious dedications, and love. Just like in this very moment, in which the elder had just finished replying to his question with usual cheesiness, and was now getting ready to make him feel like the luckiest of beings, all over again, as they tenderly made love; because … it was love that Akira was making ... right?
After their quite heated “good morning” they took a shower together, and immediately got into the Jacuzzi, just to prove how wasteful it had been to just have taking a shower, in many ways; the Jacuzzi definitely needed to be cleaned.
-Are you sure you don't want us to go eat out … - loudly inquired the elder, from the living room where he was as his usual working on his laptop
-Save that money would you … - sternly replied Yutaka in pretense anger, quickly looking around searching for something -Iya … we forgot to get onions! - he then loudly declared, pouting at his ingredients
-... I can go get you some really quick ...- absently declared the blond, who was still intently staring at the screen of his laptop, as Yutaka looked up at him from across the kitchen, and lightly pouted again
-No baby don't worry … - he stated, turning around to wash his hands, and dry them on the towel by the counter -... I'll go buy some, you are busy, and I could use some fresh air- he readily replied with a wide grin, at which words the blond, quickly closed his laptop, and walked out the living room to join the brunette in the hallway
-Really I can go ...- swiftly stated Akira, looking almost concerned, which, for some reason extremely threw Yutaka off
-It's okay really … I … can walk ...- slowly reassured Yutaka skeptically looking at the blond, who then shoved his hand in his pocket bringing out his wallet
-Then use my card ...- he then instructed, handing the little rectangular card, to an even more offended looking Yutaka
-Baby, I can afford onions don't worry … -he dismissed, reaching for his coat, and about to dash out, when the other grabbed him
-Call me when you get there okay?...- he almost pleadingly requested the older, as Yutaka rolled his eyes in mock annoyance, making the elder smirk - You know I will worry if not ...- he quickly added,
-Hai hai ...- responded Yutaka leaning forward to kiss the elder, whom place his hand on the younger waist and strategically moved them up to suddenly tickle him -...s-s-stop, Akira! ...- laughingly protested the younger, playfully hitting the elder on his chest, who retracted and brought up his hands to his head in pretense fear, while still laughing -... I'll be back ...- teasingly glared the brunette, walking towards the entrance of the hotel room, which he opened and abruptly stopped spotting Kouyou standing in front of it -... well hello there ...- cheerfully exclaimed Yutaka, receiving a faint grin from the taller blond
-Hey ...- he then lowly replied, again attempting to smile, as he pushed up his eye-glasses -... I need to talk to Akira is he there? ...- he then quickly inquired
-Yeah go in … - confusedly replied Yutaka, moving out of the way to make way for the blond, who quickly nodded and got in, afterward exiting himself, and closing the door, in front of which he momentarily stood, and stared at while biting his lower lip. Kouyou's behavior had given him all sort of vibes; and none of which was good.
Yet, he quickly shook his head and concentrated on thinking positively and proceeding towards the exit of the hotel. It was a wonderful Sunday afternoon, the sky was high up in the sky, and not a cloud could be spotted in it. Happily walking by the side of the street he suddenly stopped by the window of a video-game store. In exactly a month it was going to be Valentine's day, and he was still debating on what to by the elder. Akira loved video-games, and he knew he'd go safe buy getting one, but he quickly changed his mind, thinking that maybe he should have bought something a bit less expected and more significant.
Proceeding in his walk, he newly stopped spotting an amazingly looking white suit, which for some reason he thought was going to just perfectly fit the elder. Quickly raising his wrist up he looked at his wrist, realizing that if he were to start getting distracted to shop for Akira, he should call the elder to let him know that he might have been a little late, thus he reached for his pockets, but couldn't find the device. After stupidly blinking at himself after he had searched his back pockets as well, he cursed himself for being so forgetful, and began to speed walk towards the hotel, which was just a block away, knowing that Akira would certainly start frantically calling if he had proceeded to go and shop without calling; and maybe who knew, he had the money to mobilize the entire Osaka police squad.
Once reached the main entrance of the hotel, he quickly walked in, and ran up the stairs to the second floor, on which he speed walked all the way to room number 200, immediately stopping hearing loud screams coming out of it, and clearly recognizing the voices of Akira and Kouyou, whom were apparently having a fight. Hesitantly bringing out the card to the room, he decided upon sneakily get in and head for the kitchen, where he knew he most have left his kitchen, not wanting to interfere in whatever discussion the two were having.
Thus, he swiped the card, and cautiously closed the door behind himself, and slowly turning around to head for the kitchen, which was opposite the living room, where the two were very clearly having their discussion
-Stay out of this Kouyou ...- angrily screamed Akira, whose thundering voice made Yutaka stop in his track, and made him reconsider trying to even get to the kitchen at all -... You … you can't understand this is complicated … I need time - frustratedly declared the blond, his voice lowering a bit, which made Yutaka slowly recollect himself, and quickly slowly resume his walk towards the kitchen
-... Time? Time?! - angrily shouted Kouyou, sounding actually rather indignant, once again making Yutaka, speed to get his phone on the counter, and try to walk right out -... how much more time do you need Akira, uh?... - quickly spat Kouyou in audible skepticism, receiving no answer form the blond -... you are getting married in almost a month for crying out loud Akira, a month!- he then resignedly yelled, as a heavy silence fell among the pair, while Yutaka abruptly stopped right under the kitchen door feeling as if something very sharp had pierced right through his chest, and air was quickly going missing, as he stood there unmoving, trying to reassess the meaning of the words he had just heard; … Akira was … going to do ...what? - ... shit ...- suddenly uttered Kouyou, who was the one facing the living room entrance, with eyes wide open apparently just noticing Yutaka's presence, who was trying he best to keep breathing, and keep tears from falling, but was failing miserably
-K-kai ...- quickly called the extremely distraught voice of Akira, whom had rapidly turned around to face the kitchen, and was now speed walking towards the younger
-Don't!- quickly and angrily spat the brunette, making the blond stop on his tracks, as he remained standing there with his head lowered, and one hand grabbing the left side of his chest -... is it true? ...- he loudly inquired, hoping, pleading all the entities in the world to make him answer “No” even though the heaviness of the situation clearly indicated that what he had just heard was what was going on, but he didn't care, someone somewhere had to find a way to make the course of things change, someone somewhere had to tell him that this wasn't true
-Kai listen to me- cautiously began Akira, tentatively taking a step forward, but was immediately interrupted by a still backing away Yutaka you yelled once more
-... answer the fucking question Akira! - the brunette loudly inquired -... is it true?! ...- he newly questioned
-Baby … it's complica- began to reply the blond, but he wasn't given any time to conclude, as Yutaka quickly closed his eyes, and began to dash for the entrance -Kai wait!- loudly yelled Akira, quickly running toward the entrance, which he readily closed, as soon as the brunette had manged to open
-Move the fuck out!- distressingly cried out Yutaka, hitting the blond out of his way, as tears began to quickly stream down his cheeks; he knew it, he knew it! God he knew it -... g-get out! - loudly sobbed Yutaka as Akira tried to grab the brunette's hitting hands, successfully succeeding
-Yutaka you need to listen to me!- he then yelled out, trying to steady the brunette, who was relentlessly trying to free himself
-No! Leave me alone! - loudly retorted the brunette -... how could you? Ho could you?!- angrily sobbed Yutaka, glaring back at the blond through blurry orbs, which barely identified the profoundly pained expression on the blonds face -... How could you?! ...- newly yelled Yutaka, as he kept on trying to free himself from the elder, how would tightening the grip more at each of his attempt, as he lowered his head - God Akira why? Why? Why? Why?! How could you do this to- he tried to yell out, but was abruptly interrupted by the blond who yelled back at him
-I didn't mean to!- frustratedly cried out the blond - I didn't mean to Kai, why would have I? - he quickly added, as they both remained to stare at each other for a quick second, before Yutaka resumed trying to free himself again; he didn't want to hear it, not now, he didn't want to hear.
… Why? This hurt, it hurt so fucking bad he was sure he could die from such pain. What had he done to deserve this? Hadn't having to leave him five years ago, and having to have to force himself to accept that he was to not see ever again, been enough of a punishment? Why had destiny had to have detoured him back into his life, to just take him away from him again? What kind of cruelty was this?
-I searched for you, Kai! For four long years! - suddenly resumed yelling Akira, forcefully making the brunette stop - There wasn't day that I would try and find a way to get to you! I practically begged the entire school for anybody who knew anything, because the principal wouldn't tell me … - loudly began to explain the blond, as Yutaka sobbingly stayed unmoving listening at the elder -... I got into your house before the new comers and searched for anything, hoping you would have left a clue for me, I asked begged the people who came and collect your things, and pleaded them to take me with them, I questioned the people who then moved in - breathlessly confessed the blond, still tightly holding the brunette's wrists- … I failed my first semester at Todai because I never showed up to any of my classes, thinking that maybe you had gone to another city on the island, where I returned and went from city to city to find you in different high schools, Kai! - continued to reveal the elder - I had also come here to Osaka previously remembering that your grandmother lived here, but she had moved as well, and nobody would tell anything, nobody Kai! It was like they were keeping you away from me, I was going crazy! - painfully blurted out the elder, as tears began to stream out of the elder eyes, sentence after sentences forcefully stabbing through Yutaka's heart, who hadn't even imagined any of this; … which made everything even worse - I even dragged him to Rome during a summer! - he hysterically laughed, referring to Kouyou - thinking that maybe I'd find you by those aqueducts you always used to talk about, that you wanted to see so bad … - he sobbingly explained -... Kai I didn't know what to do anymore … my health was being affected, people around me though I had gone crazy, my parents began to fight because of me, and then - he quickly stopped, implying that to have been the cause of their divorce, but not wanting to say it out loud, at which Yutaka could feel himself about to faint - … I ... had becoming obses- tried to lowly explain the blond, but was quickly stopped by the brunette. No. He wasn't going to allow the blond to say that word. Not after he had left thinking of doing well. No. He wasn't going to stay and hear him say that all those years had been in vane.
No.
-Leave me ...- he then lowly begged, tears still streaming down, but the elder only tightened the grip more
-No ..- dryly subbed Akira , in a slightly louder, and firmer tone
-... leave me Akira ...- newly enforced Yutaka, not knowing how long he would have been able to bear all of this, he need to go; he needed out.
-No ...- strongly reinforced Akira -... I'm not losing you again! - sternly declared the blond, at which words Yutaka's sobbing became louder
-So what are you going to do? ...- he lowly inquired trying his beast to look up at the elder -... will not marry anymore? Ne Akira? ...- he then asked, at which question Akira strongly bit his lower lip, almost to the point of bleeding, as his tears came rolling down stronger -... please leave me Akira... please ...- newly begged the brunette -... please … please free me form you … - he begged, never-ending sobs loudly interrupting his request
-Akira leave him ...- gently suggested Kouyou, who was cautiously standing some steps away from the blond
-No! - angrily screamed the blond, sounding and looking completely on the verge of madness
-... Leave him Akira! - firmly reinforced Kouyou, this time walking towards the blond, and forcefully trying to free Yutaka from the other grip -... I said fucking leave him Akira! - hissed back the blond
-Fuck off Kouyou! - angrily hissed Akira, trying to fight against the taller, but eventually losing, not being able to keep his grip around Yutaka, who quickly took to newly dash toward the entrance - No! Kai wait! Kouyou get the fuck off!- he yelled while trying to bruising trying to free himself- ... Kai!- he angrily and loudly cried out, and that was the last that Yutaka had heard, amongst the sound of his frantically pounding heart, his incessant and loud sobs, the hammering of his brain, while he ran, out of the room, he ran, out of the hotel, he ran like his life depended on it. He wanted out, out of this world, out of this life, for what he had heard, what he had seen, never had ever wanted to, never he thought he would have suffered this much again, never he though he would have seen Akira in such a state, all of it, everything was just too much, he couldn't handle it.
He just couldn't take it anymore, he needed out … and out, came someone.
*-@ CHAPTER 5 @-*
A/N: [I KNEWLY APOLOGIZE FOR THE LATENESS and for any typo, or grammatical error, wanted to post this before the end of today LIKE PROMISED, now its 9:20PM over here ... m(_ _! )m … life just happens … ]
So we know what Akira was hiding, which one of you almost got correctly! No matter how we'd like for things to stay the same, to not change, life is just that; change. This will happen, and most of the time reinforcing the fact that nothing ever goes according to our plan, and sometimes coming between very strong bonds such as love. What will Akira do? And more importantly, who did Yutaka bumped into?
...find out in the next Detour. Thanks for reading, much Love (^ ^! )/.
“Loving him, hard to regret,
Losing him, hard to accept,
but with all the hurt I have felt;
letting go is the most painful yet”
by Anonymous