Chapter 7 detour rest of it ...
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Taking one cautious step closer to the door, he newly swallowed hard, and deeply breathed a couple of more times, before raising his tightly clenched hand to knock on it, but swiftly stopped the action, and deciding against it, he lowered his arm, and merely gently called his name instead - … Akira?- and as soon as his hopeful call left his throat, he heard the sound of a chair roughly scratching on the ground, and a quick pair step reaching the locked door
-Kai?! ...- quickly called Akira, making the younger slightly jump at the suddenness of the reply, as he hesitantly took a little step backwards, while the other unsuccessfully attempted, to opened the door that had been locked -... Kai? Is that you? I ...- frustratingly called the blond once more, as he kept trying to shake the door open -... I can't open the door! Kai!- he then distressingly cried out, as Yutaka swiftly closed his eyes, while taking another big breath, and newly stepped forward
-It's okay Akira … - reassured the brunette, in a louder yet still gentle and very much trembling tone -... I … I asked Kouyou to do so ...- he then explained, once the door shaking had finally stopped
-What? Why? ...- quickly inquired Akira, in a rather pained and slightly angered tone
-... because ...- whispered Yutaka, soon after pausing, pressing his eyes tighter, in order to keep his tears in place - … because I would have never been able to do this … if I saw you … but ...- resumed the younger, his eyes still tightly closed, and his will more than ever weaker; but there was no turning back this time, he had to this. He had to. -... but I needed to be here with you, to tell you this … and this is the best I could come up with, I am sorry … and I just need you … to listen okay? ...- managed to conclude the younger in a strangled voice, as the elder ceased any other movements
-I don't think I want to hear this, whatever it is you- quickly tried to declared Akira, but was pleadingly interrupted by the younger
-But you have to! - exclaimed Yutaka, feeling a little stupid talking to a door, but it was much safer than speaking in front of the elder -... so please Akira, just lis- he reattempted, but it this time it was his turn to be sharply cut off by the other
-Then let me out first! - angrily retorted the blond, newly banging and shaking the door, making the Yutaka quickly take two steps backwards, and staring at the door in hurtful aghast. He never wanted to see, or hear such an Akira, he'd meant it, what he had heard and seen the day of the unfortunate revelation, had truly been enough. Reason why he was doing what he was, reason why, with both his fist clenched to the side, he abruptly interrupted the elder's rampage and finally, he let it out
-I am letting you go Akira! - he shouted, and soon after held his hand flat on his chest, as if in doing so he could appease his maddeningly racing heartbeat, while the elder newly ceased his actions
-... uh? ...- lowly inquired the blond, in an extremely confused sounding tone -...I- tried to resume the elder, but was readily interrupted by the younger, who manged to barely get himself together soon enough to continue in his incredibly strenuous battle
-I ...- blurted out Yutaka, pausing for a second to reassess his though process -... you … you where the reason why I had left Okinawa five years ago ...- he began, still strongly trying to keep himself together, but knowing well enough that his body always seem to have excessive water that it just couldn't keep inside
-M-me? ...- hesitantly replied Akira, in what sounded like honest confusion
-Yes … but it really was my fault because of … - quickly resumed the brunette -... because of my not being honest with you … - hesitantly continued Yutaka, once again newly stopping searching for the right words - about the feeling I had for you, what those feeling did to me, and how I ended up messing everything, because I was scare- tried to explain but abruptly was interrupted by the elder
-What feeling? - commandingly inquired Akira - I really don't want to hear this like this Kai, open the door pleas- newly and loudly enforced the elder, pointlessly twisting the door's knob
-... I loved you Akira, right from the very beginning - gently admitted Kai, as silence fell between them -... I think I realized around middle school, when you and Hana first met, and I- softly continued the brunette, whom however was quickly interrupted by a enraged sounding elder
-Why didn't you tell me?! - angrily inquired the blond, in a trembling voice, indicating the possible
-I was scared Akira! - the younger shouted back in reply, as a single tear came rolling down -... I was scared that you'd reject me-
-What made you think that? - quickly retorted the blond, hitting his fist on the door
-I was confused, and so insecure … you said it yourself didn't you? you loved me as a brother, and that was exactly what it felt like … so how on earth was I supposed to just come up to you and confess? - urgently replied the younger, as more tears took their course -and it wasn't like you gave me a chance to do so either, after Hana, you just kept finding others, so quickly, that I never even had the opportunity to make you notice anything … I had to cut myself, and be happy of that entire day you'd dedicate pitying me ...- he sobbingly continued, receiving no reply form the elder -... and if you knew, the things that constantly crossed my mind every single day. Every single day thinking of you, and you only, and not being able to tell you! Every single day wondering who you were with, what were you doing, whether you ever thought of me, even just a little, and it became more frequent, creepier, sicker, and I became sick I- tried to state Yutaka, but was interrupted
-Don't - readily order the blond, but plainly interrupted by the younger, whom had no intention of stopping
-I became obsessed with you, Akira ...- finally admitted the younger, managing to keep his voice sob-free for that one sentence, after which he took a deep breath, and resumed -and in the must unhealthy way. Even though I finally manged to admit that I had a problem, and get treated for it, it kept persisting, until the period before I left, in which … I did something horrible, and you probably have to thank Keiko, if things didn't turn out for the very worst at the time. However, the whole incident, the fact that I had become so sick … to the point of being able to cause you harm … scared the hell out of me, I panicked, and accepted to run away - he paused
-... I wish I had known ...- lowly stated the blond, one sob betraying his apparent steady voice, which Yutaka promptly ignored determined to finish what he had come from
-When we met again, when you told me you loved me as well ...- forcefully resumed the brunette -... I swear, I could have died of happiness. Those were probably the happiest days of my life, and I don't regret a single one of them, I could never, because I love you Akira, always had, and always will. Even when I left Okinawa under the specific instructions of forgetting about you, I never could, I kept it hidden deep down, but it was still there - he gently explained, as he paused giving time to a few silent sobs -... and until now we've both been trying to hold on to something that wasn't available anymore, because of our insecurity, and mistakes. During our separations things have obviously happened, we took different roads, and in the past months we somehow tried to get them to meet again, drawing imaginary detours like we used to when we were children … but life is not like that, right? - he sobbingly stated -... we've touched so many life already, and we have no right to keep hurting people, because of something that we unfortunately couldn't handle, and even though I still love you so much Akira … - newly paused the brunette -... I'll be the big boy this time, and do the brave thing by letting you go, because I realized, that I mistakenly always believed you to be the one holding me, not letting me go … but it really was the other way round. Thus, I set you free, and I do this, gladly knowing that there is someone that loves you maybe as much as I do, and is apparently ready to spend the rest of her life loving you, and apparently enough, you are as well, because we both know, that if this weren't to be the case, you wouldn't be here in the first place. And it is alright, it really is, for we don't want to hurt such a person whom is willing to do so, ne? -
-... Kai- delicately tried to interjected the elder, in a low very proven voice
-... So I thank you Akira, for still trying to make this work anyways, and for loving me the way you did, and I know you do. I thank you, and I shall never forget, and maybe, who knows maybe...- he then paused, getting closer to the door, and gently placing his hand flat on it, as if by doing so, he could somehow mange to even only perceive the elder - … maybe will meet again in the next life, uh? ...- he tried to laugh off, but received no reply from the other -... and I will do my best to not go crazy over you, and get what I want from you immediately, without panicking unnecessarily - gently continued the brunette, whom could perceive a light sniffing of the elder - … for example I don't know if you still remember, but the day we first met, you actually took my car - he lightly chuckled
-… I still have it ...- lowly informed the elder, in a blank tone, after some second of silence
-Can I have it back? ...- playfully tried to inquire the younger
-... never- confidently replied the elder -... I might give it back to you when we meet again, in our next life ...- he then tried to state in a a more serene tone, but almost failing
-Promise? ...- lowly inquired the younger
-... promise - readily replied the elder, after which they both remained silent, allowing both streams of sadly reliving tears take the time they earned
-De ...- then suddenly stated the brunette, knowing that they didn't have all the time in the world, and that the quicker he left, the better he would have been able to cope -... Akira-senapi … - he then called the elder, using his respectful appellative, as if to finally seal the deal - … go kekkon omedeto gozaimasu, itsumademo oshiawase ni (= Congratulations on your wedding, forever be happy) - finally greeted Yutaka, slowly taking steps away from the door, and after respectfully bowing, he began his walk away
-.. Kai? - quickly and loudly called the elder, as the brunette continued in his walk away -... Kai!- kept calling the elder, resuming in his door shaking, but Yutaka was already out, quickly walking towards, Kouyou, whom had been outside waiting, as promised.
-How did it go? ...- cautiously asked the blond, observing the brunette storming out
-... it went - managed to reply the younger, tearfully smiling at the Kouyou, whom merely lowered his head, pulling him closer for a comforting hug, which Yutaka didn't momentarily have the strength to refuse -... the taxi? ...- he then inquired, pulling away from the elder
-.. it will be here at any moment … - informed the eye-glassed blond -... and the ceremony … will soon start ...so … I must … free the prisoner - attempted to joke the elder, while glancing at his watch, receiving a smiling nod form the younger -Though I am sure we'll meet again soon, because of Takanori ...- quickly stated the other -... until we meet again, take care - he then wished, waving as he rushed inside the room
-Hai, thank you! ...- quickly replied Yutaka, watching the elder disapper, and soon after, turning to the road and looking left and right in search of the taxi he'd asked Kouyou to call, and have ready, in order for him to immediately depart for Osaka, for he knew very well the implication of himself being around, the instant Akira would have been “released”. Finally, the familiar yellow cab, pulled up right by him, whom quickly opened the door, and got inside, and almost banging said door, he swiftly instructed the driver as to his destination, and just as soon as the cab moved, as he'd expected, he heard his name being shouted
-Yutaka! ...- cried out a voice, which could only pertain to none other than Akira -... Yutaka! - newly screamed the voice, as the brunette, lowered his head, tightly closing his eyes, and trying his best to not turn around
-Should I stop? ...- politely inquired the driver -... he is … running - hesitantly observed the driver, at which words, Yutaka quickly turned around, to notice a now pitch-black haired Akira indeed running towards them. Silently he kept staring at the elder, whom suddenly stopped, seemingly satisfied to have gained his attention, and placing his hands around his mouth, he then yelled -Arigatou! ...- frantically waving at the cab -... Arigatou Yutaka!- he newly screamed, as the brunette merely stared, and slowly raised a hand in order to greet the elder, feeling a whole lot relieved as their invisible thread was being slowly untied, but a the same time, the predicted feeling of distraught was slowly kicking in, as his brain clued into what was going on, making him quickly turn around, not being able to stand the sight of the elder anymore, lower his head in-between his head, and cry, cry, cry and; … cr-ash.
How ironic … for a transportation engineer, to be caught in a car accident …
… God! Are they okay! … someone call an ambulance! …
… the voices were faint, and his vision was going black … was he dying? ...
… can we get them ou …
well … it was at least a comfort to know that he had fixed things with Akira, ne? …
.
… Off with the detour sign, ... work no more in progress, finally; ... road open.
*-@ CHAPTER 7.5 @-*
*-@ EPILOGUE @-*
A/N: [ WELL … I MEAN ...THIS WAS SUPER LATE. m(_ _! )m ALL MY FAULT, not knowing how to handle my schedule. SORRY VERY MUCH! m(_ _ ! )m]
Aaaaand, it finally ended, and Yutaka was finally able to free himself and save his love for Akira, save himself and Akira as well, because usually [I think] that the hardest thing, isn't knowing what is the right thing to do, but actually having the courage to do the right thing, ne? [… but that is just me...].
And I know it ends in a very gory mood, and poor Yutaka ne? After all he has been though, this. But I had originally written this fiction, to support those people, whom necessarily didn't have a good Valentine, those whom didn't necessarily rejoiced on that dread love day. But, I had also envisioned an epilogue … because I believe that we deserve to know what happens in the very end, or some way along this road, what do you think? ...find out in the last Detour. Thanks for reading, much Love (^ ^! )/.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING, AND I CAN PROMISE, THAT THE EPILOGUE WILL BE DEFINITELY WORTH READING! It may not be the ending that you expect, or that everyone wanted but … I think IT'S WORTH READING. But don't want to reveal much as usual. Much Love (^ ^! )/.
“Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction. ”
by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry