HOUSE OF SIN - The Diary of Uke Yutaka : CHAPTER 15 PART 1

[luna_no_koibito]

Title: HOUSE OF SIN - The Diary of Uke Yutaka
Chapters: 15.1/21
Author: luna_no_koibito
Genre: Human drama, romance, war, angst.
Warnings:  men/men relationship, cursing, sex, violence, incest.
Rating: from PG -15 to NC-17 (Depending on chapter)
Pairing: Revealing this might spoil the story just yet ... suggest looking at the character list (^_^)!
Bands: the GazettE, Dir En Grey, X-Japan, Nightmare, An Cafe', Alice Nine, Kra, SuG.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, and don't wish I did because I'd be sorry for what could befall them （・＿・；）！
Summary:
  MAIN





Made by lovely_carrion



CHAPTER 14 PART 3

-You two ...- he dejectedly whispered, turning around towards the Indian man to his right side on his majestic bed, and willingly accepting an awaiting kiss, while the other Indian man on his left side was busying himself lavishing his back with butterfly kisses -... you two ... do not mind … staying a little bit longer … - he then managed to inquire, mechanically wrapping his arms around the Indian man whom kept kissing him endearingly, slowly, and with all the passion, which he'd learned he needed to use, in order to suit the broken soul, which was, and had been, hanging on to him literally and not-... would you?-

-Anything which will suits you, will suit me just fine … Master Kouyou- readily assured the Indian man, carefully adjusting himself in the embrace, while receiving in reply a light chuckle from the brunette, whom withdraw an arm and tenderly passed his index fingers over the Indian man's jawline, absently observing it

-... you really like to be punished … do you not, Kami?- whispered Kouyou in light amusement, referring to the fact that he had told the long haired Indian man, plenty a time now, not to call him “Master” -... how about you Riji? … -Kouyou then softly called, unwrapping himself from Kami and turning towards the short haired Indian man, whom, not facing the Hayashi's back anymore, moved himself up the bed in order to as well meet his lips, and bestow on the lighter skinned man much more passionate kisses compared to the ones, which Kami had been given

-The same goes for me ...- calmly replied Riji, soothingly passing his hand down Kouyou's chest, as he kept fervently kissing the brunette, who couldn't help lightly moaning through the action, also in reply to Kami lowering on his chest and gently paying attention to one of his nipples with his mouth -... anything you need, I will be more than happy to comply ...- whispered Riji, on his master's lips, whom, through the whole arousal, still manged to tenderly smile at him

-I cannot believe that… - then began Kouyou, who was staring in the direction of Riji's eyes, but was really focusing on nothing -... that, even for a little bit, I actually hoped he would have come ...- he absently expressed, placing his left hand among Riji's short hair, calmly massing his scalp, as the Indian man proceeded in giving attention to the Hayashi's neck -... on Friday … Friday were exactly twenty years since ...- the brunette kept professing, while using his right hand to caress Kami's long black hair, whose head was now resting on his chest, while tenderly passing his hand over the Hayashi's abdomen -... I cannot believe I did that, when every logic tells me that I had absolutely nothing that could have let me think so ...- Kouyou then cynically smirked -... after all, who keeps count of the day in which they “destroyed” somebody else life? ...- he continued in a slightly louder tone, but with the same level of cynicism, and evident traces of despise -... We could have been like them … - he then sorrowfully whispered, turning his head to the right, and staring outside the window of his room over Kami's head, while still giving attention to both Indians' scalps and hair

-Like your nephew and his bodyguard? ...- asked Riji, after which he lightly bit on Kouyou's neck, who lowly groaned, while Kami also began to cautiously bite his left nipple, making his master slowly nodded in reply to Riji's question

-... they are going to be happy together right? ...- lowly inquired Kouyou with a hopeful tone -... Yuu will make him happy, and protect him no matter what … right?- he newly inquired, tenderly smiling at the cheerful expression on the face of his nephew as he left the mansion with Yuu -... they will work together to make his dreams come true … and he will not be left at the first hotel, in which they will stop, after which he would come back brokenhearted … to this forsaken house … looking … looking just like me … right? - kept inquiring Kouyou, as a single tear, traveled down his left cheek, and was tenderly caught by Kami's lips before it could reach Kouyou's jawline, whom had then closed his eyes -... Takanori will be happy, right?- added the brunette in a whisper, still keeping his eyes tightly closed, while hoping and praying in such an outcome for his beloved nephew

-He best be ...- kindly replied Kami - for Mister Shiroyama would have to be faced with your wrath, and I would not wish such a thing on anybody ...- concluded the Indian man, making Riji lightly smirk in agreement

-... Precisely- agreed Kouyou, who lightly sniffed opening his eyes, and turned to face Kami, whom, lowering from his now hovering position, kissed the brunette beneath him -... if he comes though ...- resumed the brunette, as Kami placed himself sideways on the brunette's right, while caressing his master's hair

-If he comes? ...- politely pushed Kami

-If he comes I wonder ...- whispered Kouyou, who was staring upwards at his ceiling, wondering, in the remote eventuality in which he would have come, whether he'd newly feel like he did twenty years ago and before every time he saw him. Such as he wondered whether he would have felt that overwhelming happiness that could have ceased his breathing at his arrival, such as on that beautiful spring morning, which has proceeded their last night.

Such a bright day it had been indeed, he could remember it like it were yesterday, he was still nienteen, just like Takanori was now, and he was still blond. The whole family of the time, had gone to the wodds ehind the house, where there was not any garden yet, and just -Fight! Fight! Fight! - bounced a three year old Kazuhiro, sitting in his laps, waving a wooden sword in his tiny right hand

-Dear dear ...- cheerfully laughed Lady Hayashi, who was sitting in the grass of estate's woods, next to a himself carrying her youngest child -... so energetic isn't he? And he is most ikely cheering for none of the two, though I bet, he would be cheering for you if were one of the swordsman Kouyou, he seems to be very found of you know ...- she then explained, genuinely smiling at him, whom shyly shifted some of his back then blond locks behind his year, while paying attention to strongly hold Kazuhiro with his other hand

-Do you think so Lady Amuro, I-I mean Namie, Namie!- he quickly corrected himself, staring at the pretense enraged expression on his brother's wife, whom had brought up her own wooden sword and was getting ready to hit him as she always did whenever he'd forget to call her by name, instead of her last name -... sorry, I keep forgetting ...- he apologized, replacing his arm around Kazuhiro's tiny waist, who was still inciting the swordsmen in the play duel the three of them were observing

-Do not worry dear ...- kindly laughed Lady Hayashi -... you are just so polite, you cannot help it, differently from those two ...- she then resignedly sighed, turning towards the duel, which was between her husband Yoshiki, and Takuya

-Is that all you got brother?! - smugly yelled Takuya, blocking Yoshiki's attack and pushing him backwards

-I am not a war fanatic such as yourself Takuya ...- calmly responded Yoshiki sighing, and replacing himself in position for the next attack, which made Takuya amusingly laugh

-Now children watch me disgrace your father in a few more moves - coolly yelled Takuya turning around towards a seven year old Yasuno, and six year old Akira and Takahiro, whom had been as well inciting the fight from a closer post

-Take that back now! - shouted Yoshiki, whom swiftly attacked the younger, apparently not liking the idea of being ridiculed in front of his own children, reaction, which, however, seemed to be exactly the result Takuya was hoping to achieve

-There you go big bro! - excitedly yelled Takuya, as they resumed the duel, in the midst of the kids inciting

-You can do it dear! - excitedly shouted Lady Hayashi, weaving her wooden sword in an encouraging motion-... poor Yoshiki, having Akira cheering for Takuya, it kills him a little bit inside every time - she then laughed a little bit

-Which is very weird, given that Yasuno is actually cheering for Yoshiki, and Akira usually always does everything that Yasuno does, am I wrong? - observed Kouyou, turning towards Lady Hayashi

-True, but Takuya is the only exception. Akira adores him, and I am afraid it almost gotten to the point were he might accidentally blur out that he might want to be just like his uncle when he grows up, and that might just be the final blow for my poor Yoshiki ...- she resignedly sighed, making Koyou chuckle in agreement -... and look at Takahiro, my poor child he is so confused, with the fact that Yasuno is cheering for their father, and Akira for their uncle, he has no idea who to cheer for … not like my littlest handsome thing ...- she observed, opening her arms towards Kazuhiro, whom readily jumped off Kouyou's laps and stumbled his way into his mother's arms -... who just cheers for both - she smiled, and pecked the younger on his forehead

-You are such a good mother Namie ...- observed Kouyou - I can easily see you raising an army of kids- he cheerfully commented, delightfully observing Kazuhiro in hi smother's arms, and second later running towards his other siblings with his wooden sword in the air

-No ...- modestly answered Lady Hayashi -... this four little men are more than enough for me!- she serenely confessed

-Never wished for a girl ...- curiously inquired Kouyou, replacing his attention on the Lady from the duel he had resumed watching

-Nah not really! - she frankly replied -... I mean, is not like I would be the best example of ladyship anyways. The only ladylike thing I posses, are my clothes I am afraid ...- she snickered, making Kouyou resignedly shake his head in amusement -... and I am truly convinced, you would do a better lady than I could ever- she smugly observed, mischievously grinning at a suddenly rather blushing and indignantly looking Kouyou

-N-Namie! ... - loudly protested Kouyou, his expression still unwillingly tainted in the darkest shade of red

-Ha! Look how easily you remembered my name now! - Loudly pointed out Lady Hayashi, quickly followed by a joyful laughter

-I mean ...- Kouyou quickly corrected himself -... such a comment is really of no aid, if I am to try and find a spouse … - he dejectedly continued, lowering his head to his laps

-If you ask me ...- resumed Lady Hayashi, turning her attention towards the duel and her four kids -... I do not see all this hype about marriage, not for everyone at least ...- she began, in a rather calm and frank tone -... not everyone is cut for it, and for some … - she then paused a second, to glimpse at the blond, whose head was still lowered -... for some, the opposite gender, may not be the correct half either ...- she concluded with an implying tone, which made Kouyou's head rapidly snap upwards in her direction

-L-Lady Namie ...- called out again the blond, this time in a more resigned rather than offended tone

-I am not the one who blushes away whenever a certain apprentice doctor shows up … - she coolly commented, and just as if she had called said person, a white horse made its way towards them, carrying said apprentice

-Good morning Lady Hayashi ...- politely greeted the man from his horse, while nodding in the same educated way

-Good morning to you … Kaoru - she cheerfully greeted

-Good morning … Kouyou ...- he then newly greeted turning towards the blond, who merely smiled, and lowered his head to avoid showing his customary reddened features

-... said so ...- whispered Lady Hayashi, raising to her feet, and receiving Kouyou's threatening and widened eyes in reply -... well I shall leave you two, with your medical talk of which I understand less than nothing ...- she then saluted, bowing, running towards her kids, and poking Yasuno's back with the tip of her wooden sword

-Mother! - yelled Yasuno pouting while turning towards his mother, making Akira, Takahiro and Kazuhiro turn as well

-I bet I am the better swordsman out of all of you - she declared in a feign serious tone, holding her sword straight in front of her face

-No way! - yelled all the kids, and began chasing their mother with their own wooden swords, Akira and Takahiro in front, Yasuno behind, for he had stopped a second to carry Kazuhiro on his back, given that he was too small to keep up with their running speed

-They are quite lively are they not … - kindly observed Kaoru, soon after dismounting from his horse

-They have a wonderful mother, nothing to compare with ours ...- sadly observed Kouyou, and lightly jolted feeling the brunette's mouth too close to his ear

-I bet you would be a great mother ...- whispered the Kaoru, making Kouyou quickly turn in his direction, and as quickly lower his face once realized just how close their mouth were -... we will do it, the two of us together ...- continued the elder -... we will find a way to morph different gender organs, and you will have my children ...- confidently professed Kaoru, at which Kouyou had to apply all the self-restraint he had not to kiss-attack the brunette out of impulse -... anyway … are you ready for our little trip? … - he inquired, pulling away from Kouyou, whom could finally breath again

-Yes … of course … when do you want to leave? - serenely questioned the blond, whom had really been looking forward to this trip

-Yoshiki said he had something to discuss with me, and after that ...- he paused a second, to lovingly stare at the blond, who turned towards him, and shyly smiled as well -... after that we will go immediately ...- he announced, and taking a few steps closer he newly whispered -... I have been looking so much forward to this trip, I can barely wait ...- he sincerely, and almost nervously stated, concluding with his typical wide smile

-I-I ...- quickly stumbled Kouyou, slightly lowering his gaze form the elder's, and pausing to calm himself, and try and confidently reply -... I have been as well- he then firmly stated smiling up at the elder

-Then I shall be quick ...- cheerfully stated Kaoru, looking even more confident at such a reply, after which he bowed and made his way towards the still dueling swordsmen.

Kouyou merely nodded in reply, and observed as the brunette walked away from him, halting the duel, which made Takuya rather peeved, and Kouyou could remember thinking of Takuya as very childish back then; so ironic. Yet, he hadn't cared too much about any of his brothers at the moment, all his thoughts were, and had been, for Kaoru, their childhood friend, his brother's best friend; his first and only love. And the same had seemed for Kaoru as well, up until that very last second before he turned his back to go and talk to Yoshiki, it looked and felt as if the brunette had the same regards for himself.

Then, once the brunette had finally concluded whatever matter he had with Yoshiki, as soon as he exited the meeting room, and found Kouyou standing outside of it, he had smiled as his usual, but it really wasn't, and Kouyou could tell. Something was different, he couldn't quite tell what, but something had changed in the hour he spent discussing with Yoshiki, but no matter how much he tried to inquire, as they rode towards their trip destination, Kaouru would just reply that nothing was wrong, and that everything was just fine.

-Well did you enjoy the dinner my beauty ...- politely inquired Kaoru, ushering Kouyou inside the room he had booked for them to stay in

-Why yes sir ...- confidently smiled and bowed Kouyou thanks to the two glasses of wine that came with said dinner, while smirking at the nickname that the elder would always use whenever they were alone, and also in a m -... it was quite expensive though … I could have paid for- carefully tried to observe Kouyou, but as expected, he was caught off

-No such thing ...- proudly replied Kaouru, at which Kouyou lightly grinned, knowing very well that the money the brunette spent for this day must have been the fruit of lots of saving, given the poor nature of his family, whereas it would have been nothing for himself -... please do not worry about such things ...- insisted the brunette, at which reply Kouyou merely sighed, while abandoning himself to relaxingly stare outside the balcony of the room

-If you say so ...- worryingly whispered the blond, staring at the moon

-You know ...- suddenly stated Kaoru, joining the blond, by the balcony entrance -... you are truly incredibly talented, and I never once thought that your being called a “genius” was an overstatement … - continued the elder, as the blond bemusedly turn around to speechlessly observe the smiling brunette -... even more than myself, all my medical skills are just the result of so much studying, but you … it is all so natural … I admire you so much - kindly admitted the brunette

-What are you talking about, all of a sudden … - nervously chuckled Kouyou, not understating how such a speech, was supposed to fit in their “romantic rendezvous”

-You are destined to succeed you know … - continued the elder, as if he hadn't heard him speak -... no matter what you do … no matter with whom- commented Kaoru, but was interjected by Kouyou, whose uneasiness quickly took the best of him once again, as he stepped right under the brunette's nose, looking as concerned as he had ever felt

-But you are doing this with me right? We are working on this project together right?! - swiftly inquired Kouyou, peering straight into those dark orbs, searching for any sign of deceit, of uncertainty, of anything that could be an obstacle between the two of them, but found nothing other than a sincere smile, and a earnest emotion that felt like nothing else but love, mixed with something else, which he had no time to analyze, as Kaoru bent to tenderly kiss him, cupping his face with both his hands

-I love you Kouyou ...- lowly professed the elder, breathing on the blond's lips -... so much you will never have any idea I am sure- he continued, dragging them inside the room, and a few kisses later he was hovering over the speechless blond, whom kept gazing at him eye-widened, because of the brunette's unusual behavior

-Kaoru ...- he then whispered, as the elder proceeded to gently nibble on his neck -... is everything really alright?

-Is it? … - promptly replied the elder, slightly lifting up to smile at the blond -... is it really alright for me to do this? ...- he inquired, as he slowly began to unbutton the blond's shirt, which made the younger bashfully turn his head to the side

-T-this aside ...- Kouyou whispered, allowing the elder to slid his peach-color shirt off his body -... I- tried to resume the blond, mustering more confidence as he turned his head back to Kaoru, but was interrupted by the elder

-Is there anyone else? ...- sharply asked the elder, looking dead serious, at which Kouyou could nothing but speechlessly blink in complete shock - is there someone else, you would rather do this with, because if so, I do not want to force you to, I can sto- he resumed in a calmer tone, but still looking truthfully concerned in his inquiry, which however, wasn't allowed to go any further as a rather vehement Kouyou abruptly cut him off

-There is no other one!- loudly and firmly exclaimed the blond -how could there be … it is only you Kaoru, it has always been only you- he declared and reassured, feeling the veins in his body rapidly pump -... and you? ...is … is there someone else you would- he tried to question, in a calmer tone, while looking away in his natural shyness, and also fearing the reply, but he was as well abruptly interjected, by a rather offended and agitated looking Kaoru, who seemed to have just been slighted in the wrongest way

-No, there could never be anyone else - strongly professed Kaoru - and I need you not to forget this ...- he then resumed in a calmer tone, given as Kouyou felt a bit scared by such a reaction, and it was surely reflecting in his expression -... meeting you Kouyou, getting to know you, loving you the way I do, and that I am about to ... has been more than a blessing to me, and I know for sure that there exist nothing, and nobody that could ever make me think otherwise, or love you any less ...- he proclaimed, lowering to tenderly kiss Kouyou, whom was in such an ecstatic emotional state from such a confession that he felt tears of joy trying to push though as hard as they could -... I will never stop loving you Kouyou, never- he had concluded, and after that, there had been no need for words anymore.

That night, they made love, slow and awaited love. Kaoru had been sweet, considerate, gentle, and all the passion they constantly had to keep to themselves when around everyone else, found its rightful place through those demanding touches, the incredibly tight embraces, and the seemingly never-ending kissing. It had been their first time, but unfortunately, because of a that faith, which so often showed itself to be unbearably envious of those, whom had finally found happiness, it also turned out to be their last.

The following morning Kouyou had awaken to the sun-rays, in an empty bed, and his face stained with the viscosity of dried-up tears, which hadn't been his. The fact that someone other than himself had cried on his face, hadn't seem to hold any importance at the time, not so much as to find out just were Kaoru was. Raising to his feet he looked for maybe a note or something the other might have left telling him just where he might have been. However, not finding anything, Kouyou told himself that perhaps he were to have been of a speedy return, reason why there hadn't been any message. Thus, he went back to his bed, and sat. There he stayed staring out the window in the direction of a wonderful spring blue sky, lightly pouting at it after ten minutes, nervously sighed after twenty, bringing up his knees to his chest after fifty, and after an hour, he newly rose up to his feet, wore his discarded cloths, and marched downstairs.

-Good morning ...- Kouyou politely greeted the woman at the hostel's counter, failing at the smile he had tried to perform, as the woman politely bowed her head to him

-Good morning sir, how may I help you this morning? ...- she tehn cordially inquired

-I was wondering whether you would happen to know Mister Kaoru Niikura's whereabouts, we are staying in room twenty-six ...- questioned Kouyou as calmly as he possibly could, for even though he had the feeling that something bad was about to happen since the previous day, there really wasn't any reason for it to actually be

-Room twenty six … room twenty ...six ...- kept absently repeating the woma, as she read through her guest books -... here it is Niikura Kaoru, and Haya ...Hayashii Kouyou!- shockingly exclaimed the woman, snapping her head up, and wide-eyed blinking at Kouyou -I was not here last night so I had no idea we had such a person staying for the- she bashfully tried to blubber, as Kouyou swiftly smiled at her, while mentally cursing his family's notoriety, as he cut her off, in the best polite way he could muster

-About Mister Niikura? ...- Kouyou then pushed -.... did he leave any message, or said where he would have gone? ...- he added, as the woman quickly nodded again, and as she looked at her book, she newly began to blink in the stupid manner she just had

-I-it says that ...- nervously began the woman, as if trying to explain something of which meaning she had no idea - … he has checked out this morning … has also paid … f-for both your stays ...- she concluded, nervously looking up at Kouyou, who probably looked more flabbergasted than she did

-What? … no ... there must be a mistake ….- he absently called, pulling the book out of her hands, and reading for himself what the girl had just stated

-Certainly it must be so! - quickly agreed the woman -... you are free to keep waiting for Mister Niikura in the room, free of charge, seems it appears we made the mistake- she politely rushed and bowed, at which Kouyou absently and slowly nodded, turning around, and walking himself back to his room. Once inside, he carefully looked around allowing his eyes to confirm that in fact, there was absolutely nothing that pertained to the brunette, nowhere. However, not wanting to accept, to understand, to give up to such evidence he newly sat on the bad, resting his back on the bed-rest, and waited. He waited even though it was clearer, and clearer, with the passage of time that Kaouru wouldn't have been back, and when the sun left place for the moon to rise, he finally got himself out of the room, out of the hostel, and on his black horse, all the way towards Kaoru's farm, which ironically enough, wasn't too far from where they were, which was outside Manchester.

As he arrived, the servants and his Kaoru's cousin were the only people he found, one of which explained that Kaoru and his parents had left this morning, where to it had been expressed, such as when they were to be of returned, and by the way the woman spoke, it appeared as if he might have probably not returned anymore. Never had he cried as much, never had he felt so hopeless, to the point in which he had unsuccessfully tried to take his life in in-between the walls of his own house, and somehow miraculously saved by Lady Hayashi, once back to his senses however, he wasn't the same anymore. Something had obviously died in himself, with Kaoru's disappearance and he just couldn't stand being in the same nation, not talk about city, which just kept reminding him of what he had lost for reasons he had absolute no clue of. It kept hurting, every single day, and unbearably so, thus, not being able to withstand it anymore, he cursed his loved once, abandoned his more than auspicious medical career, and left.

Yoshiki however, given his power, and the strong bond he had with him and Takuya, had always found a way to reach him, through messengers, and friends that stayed in the countries he was at the time, finally managing to make him try to come back for nobody else than his family. Thus, a good six years since he had left England, he returned, right about the period Takeru was born. In fact, he had been there, the day Takeru came to the world, he was there in the same room with the family doctor and house assistants watching as everyone's face rapidly saddened at the discovery of the child being a boy. Kouyou stood there, and stared at Namie's empty expression as she was told that it was a boy. He stood there, wondering just what had changed in a woman that had once told him she didn't want anymore children, and now, she had three more, two of which presence she didn't even acknowledge. He had no idea, and at the moment it didn't seem to bother him as much as the fact that there were two, by then three children, whom technically didn't have a mother.

He wasn't superstitious, thus he doubted that his cursing his family six years before might have had anything to do with this, but the sense of guilt was comfortably hiding somewhere inside him. So it became that as he kept traveling, he would come back as often as he could just for those seven souls. He couldn't stay permanently for Kaouru had tried one to get to him the time he came back, and he figure he would have kept trying if he permanently stayed, and that was one person he never wanted to see again; or saw he thought.

Now, as he lay in bed with Riji and Kami, while slowly and more calmly thinking through the events of that night, he was beginning to view it a little differently. Things he could have done differently, conclusions he shouldn't have made, and even though he knew that the man he had become wouldn't have been able to forgive him, he also knew that somewhere inside himself he wanted to. Because he loved him, and obviously still did, just as much as he hated him and all he had wrongly accused him of have made him become.

-The benefit of the doubt ...- Kouyou whispered, resuming to caress Kami's hair -... he has been trying to contact him … might be late but …- he whispered, closing his eyes to the ceiling -... I want to give him the benefit of the doubt … I'll listen … to whatever he has to say...- he concluded, as Kami and Riji both embraced him, whose eyes were still comfortably closed trying to keep his eyes from letting his own tears staying his perfectly made up face, as he finally began to silently wondered the reason for those tears that had stained his bare face twenty years ago.

CHAPTER 15 PART 2

A/N: TA-DAN! Never would have thought? Or … seen it from the very beginning? (if you had seen it from the very beginning I amend you for real!) Well, now is time for some more Kai, in part two, with our dear father Byou, and a hooded guest … well … I'll let you read ne~

Thank again to lovely_carrion who made that wonderful banner! I am always so honored, and thank ful when you all offer to give me such wonderful art, to know tha tyou were moved enough by my story to do that is great m(_ _ )m really, thank you so much!

Much Love -LnK♥(~_^ )/-