Waiting (rewrite), Book 2, Chapter 16
After living through hell for months, Yamato is finally free from Ken and ready to move on with his life. But are things ever really that simple? Sequel to Untold Secrets. References to rape/sexual abuse and suicide. Some violence/swearing.
[Digimon] M, drama/hurt/comfort, 3470 (118859) words, published 08-09-16
UPDATE This chapter is the final version
previous chapter
Author's Notes: I had always intended for this chapter to exist. This is the fight of the previous chapter told from Yamato's point of view. In the original fic, I had started writing this chapter and then my file got corrupted so that I lost all but a small portion I had on copy/paste. I've never been able to recover that file, so most of this is written new.
Waiting
by: butterflie
chapter sixteen, fall and break
Book Two
and this will be
the one moment that matters
and this will be
the one thing we remember
and this will be
the reason to have been here
and this will be
the one moment that matters at all
- OK Go, the one moment.
Waking on Friday morning, I found myself filled with a strange sense of apprehension I couldn’t really explain. Sitting up in bed, rubbing at my eyes blearily as I slowly came to full awareness, I tried to pinpoint any explanation for the situation. I had apologised to Taichi last night for freaking out and locking myself in the bathroom, so it’s not like I was worried about seeing him. And my Sento situation hadn’t changed any, so that shouldn’t have made me feel any more apprehensive than usual... Dad and I hadn’t fought...
Shaking it off as perhaps just the remnants of a strange dream, I reluctantly climbed out of bed and began getting ready to face the day. But by the time I got to school, I wasn’t able to get rid of the feeling. In fact, the closer Taichi and I got to the school, the more my worry increased. There was nothing to be done for it though, so I did my best to ignore it, just focusing first on homeroom and then second period.
When I left the classroom after second, I was almost relieved to see Tetsuya leaning deceptively casual on the wall across the hall, waiting for me. I halted as I spotted him, causing someone to bump into me from behind.
“Watch it!” a male voice growled, making me flinch. I hastily moved out of the way, backing up against a few lockers.
Tetsuya straightened up, approaching me. “Ishida,” he greeted me, the calm tone belying the nasty smirk on his face.
I shrunk back a bit, afraid and wishing I wasn’t. “What do you want?” I asked, trying to sound like I didn’t care and failing miserably.
He smiled. It wasn’t a nice one. “Just here to give a friendly warning.”
“Then give it and go away,” I said, swallowing nervously. I wished I could look confident and unconcerned, but in truth I was terrified his “warning” was going to be physical.
“We’ll be coming to collect soon.”
Immediately, I remembered the words Kento had said to me last Thursday. Trust me, we’ll make you pay. I knew Tetsuya was referencing them. But I didn’t know if it was a genuine warning or if it was just yet another scare tactic to keep me on edge.
“Consider your message delivered,” I said coldly, though the slight tremble in my voice gave me away.
He gave me another cruel smirk, running a hand through dark hair before turning and sauntering away. I wrapped my arms around myself and took a deep breath once he was gone, trying to let go of the fear and worry and not go into another panic attack, though I dearly wanted to at the thought of Kento possibly coming after me soon. After another few breaths, I felt calm enough to head to third.
* * *
The rest of the day following Tetsuya’s warning seemed to pass by way too fast. It reminded me of being younger, when I’d get a bad test grade and would hope that the day would drag by slowly as possible before I had to go home and show Dad, but instead the day would spite me and not even feel like an hour long. The rest of my classes after Tetsuya’s warning felt kind of like that. It seemed like no time at all before Taichi and I were walking down the halls hand-in-hand, making our way towards the main entrance. I was tense the entire walk, and I knew Taichi was picking up on it. I hadn’t told him exactly what Tetsuya had said. I didn’t even know why, really, he deserved to know. I just didn’t want him to worry any more than necessary.
Once we made it out of the building and away from the school without being accosted, I relaxed slightly. Our chances of being attacked outside of the immediate vicinity of school were a lot less than at school. I smiled at Taichi, feeling a bit silly. We were going to go home and tell my dad and he'd help us figure something out and things would be fine. Why had I been so apprehensive the whole day? “Sorry,” I said, not even quite sure what I was apologising to him for.
I felt Taichi squeeze my hand, offering his never-ending support. “Don’t be.”
We walked along in silence after that. Taichi seemed content to enjoy the warm and sunny afternoon, and I was contemplating on how the conversation with Dad might go, not really paying attention to my surroundings.
If only I had.
A loud clattering sound behind us sent me whirling around and alert again. My eyes darted around rapidly, looking both for the source of the sound and any sign of Kento’s gang. I saw neither. Beside me, Taichi was just as tense, and I felt him squeeze my hand again, tighter this time. I gave a quick squeeze back and turned back around, wanting to hurry home.
Sento was directly behind us. I didn’t even have time to process the fact, much less react to it. Immediately, Sento delivered a hard punch to Taichi’s face, and he staggered back, letting go of my hand as his bookbag slipped from his shoulders and fell to the ground.
“Taichi!” I cried, scared and worried for us both. Taichi didn’t respond, and soon Kento, Tetsuya, and Ayashi were circling around us, a mix of amused and cold expressions on their faces. The sun glinting off a bit of metal caught my attention, and I realised Sento had pulled out his knife. I started to breath faster as I remembered the last time I had seen that knife, trailing down my cheek right before I had passed out and been left for dead. And my shoulder still ached in remembrance of Ken’s knife sometimes. I didn’t have a good track record with knives...
“Move,” Sento ordered, but the syllable was more of a low growl in his throat than anything else.
I didn’t want to go wherever they were taking us. Nothing good could come of it. When I caught sight of the alleyway, I nearly whimpered, only just keeping the sound from escaping my throat. I didn’t want to give them the satisfaction. I was so terrified, and I wanted desperately to just give in and let a full-blown panic attack take over, but I knew if I did that would be as good as giving myself and Taichi up for dead. I needed to maintain calm control as much as possible, at least for now. I tried to take subtle deep breaths, willing myself not to panic.
Once we got partially down the alleyway, the four of them stopped and surrounded us again, with Kento and Sento staying near me while Tetsuya and Ayashi angled themselves towards Taichi. Despite my best efforts, my breathing was still coming fast in short, choppy breaths, and I knew I was close to losing it. I felt Taichi press himself against me, but for once his presence wasn’t the calm support it usually acted as. I knew that right now he was just as helpless as I was, and I could only worry for him and what would happen to him.
For the moment, the gang seemed content to just press around us and sneer, and I wondered what they were waiting for. I didn’t want to die, but if I wasn’t leaving this alleyway alive today, I would have preferred they get it over with. I didn’t want them to prolong the torture.
Beside me, Taichi suddenly spoke up. “Look, it’s me you guys want. Leave him out of this, he had nothing to do with any of it.”
I swallowed at that, blinking back tears, amazed that even now my boyfriend was still trying to protect me. It was enough to slightly calm me and keep me in the moment.
Sento laughed at him, even as he was glaring at me. The sound that bubbled up from his throat was dark, and devoid of any humour or even feeling. It made me shiver. “I don’t think so,” he said.
But it seemed to be the catalyst to kick them into action. Tetsuya suddenly leaned forward and lifted Taichi bodily up by the waist, arms wrapped tightly around him. I could only watch helplessly as he struggled futilely to break free while Tetsuya and Ayashi took him further into the alleyway, and further away from me.
And then I was alone with Kento and Sento.
I watched them warily as they circled around me menacingly. My legs trembled in fear. I wanted to run, but recognised how pointless it was. They would only catch up to me and bring me back. I swallowed heavily, daring to look at their twin faces. Sento’s face was filled with hatred, his dark eyes smoldering with a mix of rage and a desire to hurt me, to make me pay. However, Kento’s face and eyes were oddly blank, devoid of any recognisable emotion. He had looked the same when he had first accosted me to warn me I’d pay for what Taichi had done, and it wasn’t hard to bring to mind what both Taichi and Kenji had told me, that he lacked feelings like normal people. I hadn’t really understand it until now. He looked as if he could be doing something as mundane as taking a shower, not like he was about to badly beat and possibly kill two people. It was terrifying to see.
Lightning fast, Sento’s arm suddenly darted out, clamping down tightly around my wrist. I cried out in surprise and pain, but before I could try and shake him loose, he flung me with surprising strength into Kento. We both fell to the ground in a tangle of limbs from the force of the collision, and Sento laughed. I groaned, rolling off of Kento, who quickly scrambled up and kicked me hard in my side. “Fucking whore,” he grunted.
I winced and curled up into a protective ball as Kento sent another well-aimed kick at me, his heavy-duty combat boot catching me in the shin and sending a thrum of pain racing throughout my leg. Sento seemed content for the moment to just stand back and watch as his twin beat the crap out of me. It didn’t take long for tears to start coursing down my cheeks, both from the pain and from the sorrow of the situation. How had it ever come to this? I wished I had talked to Dad sooner. Maybe then I wouldn’t be here now, in pain and scared for my life. I felt like I had learned nothing from my past situation with Ken.
A few more kicks, and then his boot caught on my blazer, ripping it. He cursed and struggled to get untangled, tearing it even more. It didn’t take long for it to wind up on the ground, tattered shreds in it and completely ruined. His kicks after that felt even harder, and I could do nothing but lay there and take it.
I didn't know how long it had been before Kento at last let up on me, apparently taking a quick breather. My back and legs and arms all felt like they were on fire, and if by some miracle they let me live I knew I’d be covered in massive bruises by tonight.
My relief was short-lived, however, as Sento quickly moved in to take his brother’s place. A vicious kick to my back had me crying out again. My chest began to feel tight, my breathing once again speeding up slightly. I didn’t want to be here! I didn’t want this to be happening! I just wanted to go home, go home to my apartment and my room and my dad where it was safe! Safe and far away from the pain and the fear and sorrow and the crazy gang that was trying to kill me and Taichi.
Another kick, another yelp, and I couldn’t take it anymore. “Please...” I sobbed, “please stop... I’m sorry for whatever I did, I didn’t mean it, just please please stop...”
Sento let out a bark of dark laughter, even as he continued to kick me. “I don’t think so, Ishida. You and your little whore boyfriend deserve whatever we do to you.”
“Please...” I tried again, my voice cracking. “We never deserved any of this... it was you who attacked us first, you who put me in the hospital... You’re sick, and cruel... you love hurting people, you probably get off on it... for once why can’t you make a good choice...”
For a moment, Sento had actually stopped kicking me, staring down at me with a strange look on his face as I spoke, but at my last words his face darkened. He reached down and yanked me hastily to my feet, ignoring my cry of pain as his face twisted in ugly rage. “Shut up!” he screamed, flinging me against the brick wall of one of the buildings forming the alleyway. The force of the impact knocked the wind out of me, and I slumped down to the ground, unable to even cry out again.
Sento approached me quickly, grabbing an arm and jerking me back to my feet, holding me up by placing his hands on my shoulders and pressing my back to the wall. “Shut up!” he snarled at me again, getting right in my face. I could feel little flecks of spittle land against my cheeks as he yelled at me. I didn’t dare wipe them away. “You don’t have a damn clue what you’re talking about, you worthless piece of shit!” He then let go of me to slap me across the face, and then his hands were clawing at my shirt frantically, ripping holes in it. “Take it off!” he screamed, and I obeyed hastily. Fear had me not even questioning it. “Useless piece of shit!” he yelled again.
“I’m sorry...” I said weakly. It was obvious that he was too enraged to be reasoned with. All that I could do at this point was try my best to placate him and hope that they didn’t actually kill us.
A hand on his shoulder had Sento once again stepping back, letting Kento take his place, though the raging fire in his eyes still continued to burn. Kento smirked at me, and grabbed my arm and yanked me off the wall, tossing me back to the ground like unwanted garbage. The landing hurt, but I had no energy to cry out.
I zoned out for a bit as he resumed beating me, until a suddenly screamed “Son of a bitch!” jolted me back to the present. That had been Taichi’s voice. I lifted my head up, trying to look over to where he’d been dragged, and briefly saw my boyfriend beating the hell out of Tetsuya.
Taichi was still fighting. He hadn’t given up. He didn’t intend to just roll over and die. What was I doing? Why was I laying here on the ground, just taking everything Kento and Sento dished out to me? Why wasn’t I fighting as well?
Suddenly finding renewed strength, I let out a small cry and surged up, grabbing Kento’s wrist mid-swing and yanking him to the ground beside me. He fell easily, caught off guard, and let out a growl of anger. I paid it no mind, and struggled to get on top of him, pinning him to the ground, then began swinging for all I was worth.
He didn’t fight me at first, probably too surprised. Sento also seemed content to just stand back and watch, though I didn’t understand why. Perhaps Kento had ordered him not to interfere?
I managed to get in several good punches on Kento before he rallied and began fighting back, the two of us grappling and rolling around on the ground, grunting and fighting for all we were worth. Despite my exhaustion and aches, I wasn’t doing too badly. Adrenaline and anger had kicked in and gave me the edge I needed. Unfortunately, feeling like I was getting the upper hand made me careless. Because he had just been standing there, I stopped keeping an eye on Sento. A familiar intense pain in my side ripped a scream out of me before I was even aware of what just happened.
I stopped hitting Kento and my eyes widened as I looked down and saw a gaping wound pouring blood out and staining my undershirt. I reached my fingers down in disbelief to touch it, struggling to understand. Sento had just stabbed me...
My side flared with my pain as my fingers gently touched the wound, coming back covered with blood. I raised them to my face in shock, moaning in horror. I had really just been stabbed. I couldn’t even process it.
Off to the side, Sento was laughing.
“You fucking bastard!” Taichi was screaming at the top of his lungs, but I couldn’t figure out what he was doing, because Sento was pulling me off of Kento, throwing me at the wall once more. The pain was so great that I nearly threw up, and my vision was getting black and fuzzy around the edges. I barely even registered the fact that both Kento and Sento were beating on me now, Sento cruelly delivering some of his punches and kicks to the new hole in my side.
All the fight had gone out of me. I was going to die in this alleyway today, and I knew it. I would bleed to death, if the beating didn’t take me out first.
I closed my eyes and began to sob. I didn’t want to die. I had so many things left in my life I wanted to do! I wanted the band to become even more famous and make so much great music. I wanted to finish school with all my friends. I wanted to spend my life with Taichi, who I loved more than anything, and be able to be an amazing boyfriend to him some day. I wanted kids with him... I didn’t want to die in a dirty old alley at seventeen, killed by one of my best friend’s crazy twin brothers.
Loud shouting in the distance caught my attention, and I opened my eyes, trying to lift my eyes and look towards the source, but I was feeling alarmingly weak and the black spots dancing in front of my eyes were getting worse. I blacked out for a moment, and when I gained awareness again I heard what sounded like Kenji’s voice. Confused, I struggled to focus, wondering if I was hearing things or if Kenji really was here.
“Stop hurting him! Let them go!”
It was definitely Kenji, though it didn’t make sense. How did Kenji know where to find us? Did he know before-hand that his brothers were going to attack us? If so, wouldn’t he have warned us?
I wanted to stay conscious, to figure out what was going on and if we were really going to be saved, but I felt so dizzy and weak and I kept drifting in and out. I floated for awhile, unaware of what was going on around me, until I felt intense pain in my side again. My eyes snapped open and I screamed automatically.
I felt a hand on my shoulder, and then Taichi’s voice said softly, “Yamato, it’s me, Taichi. I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to hurt you. Can you look at me?”
Somehow I managed to drag my head up and caught my bleary gaze onto my boyfriend’s. Just a glimpse of his worried brown eyes, and then I was gone again, once more floating in a haze of pain.
I came to once more to some kind of commotion. I could tell that Taichi and Kenji were yelling, but I couldn’t tell why, or at who. I hoped everything was okay. It was impossible to tell what was going on. I worried that I was going to bleed out before any sort of help had a chance of arriving. I felt awful, and I was scared.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?! You asshole, get off him!”
I blinked, trying hard to keep my eyes open. That had been Taichi again. He hadn’t sounded angry so much as... sad? Upset? I didn’t know. Everything hurt. It was hard to breathe. The alleyway was spinning, and I wanted to throw up. The black spots were driving me crazy.
I closed my eyes and hoped I’d have reason to open them again.
chapter sixteen end. (09 August 2016 0353PM)
soundtrack for chapter sixteen:
bastille - popmpeii, md electro & eric flow - one girl (dancefloor kingz remix), blink-182 - bored to death, shridhar solanki & sidh solanki - I like that
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