The letters 'YMCA' don't really mean anything to Chinese people, so they just kind of wave their arms around.

In China, panda is considered luck, because in China, everybody like pandas.

Year end post.

Separate into different loads? What the hell is that?

Interviewer: So say you had a group of 3-4 year olds, who spoke no English - how would you have them split into two groups?
Me: Um. I would move them. With my hands.

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Woman in club: So do you think we're like, really common or something?
Me: Er, no
W: Do you usually hang around with like, really brainy people?
Me: Um, no
W: Like wizards?
Me: Uh, no
Me: ...
Me: Like wizards?
W: Ahaha! I can't believe I said wizards! I meant 'whizz-kids'
Me: Oh

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An egg hit me.

A dog crapped on my doorstep.