Dad: You know what you do when life hands you lemons?
Me: Umm. Make lemonade?
Dad: No.
Dad: You say "Fuck you life" and throw the lemons back in its face. That ought to teach life to think twice before it messes with you again.

So lately there's been nothing much good in my life. But when life hands you lemons, you make margaritas. Here is a list of ( Read more... )

Me: So I thought it said "Hugs are better with barbeque sauce"
Vanessa: Well, that's true.

Kat: Love is in the air.
Me: Wow. Love smells just like cigarettes.

I was just reading my old entries from when I first got to London, and am reinspired by those words once said by Rusty Green.
"Now is not the time for despair, now is the time for severe alarm."

I am also reminded of a certain paperchase card reading "Always remember three things: the world is beautiful, the sun is warm, and Dave owes me five

"It's about an angel who lives on Ludlow Street. Not far from me. He's lived there for so long he can't remember why God put him on earth. Every night the angel talks aloud to God, and every night he waits for some word from Him. To pass the time he walks through the city. In the beginning he is in the habit of marveling at everything. He starts a ( Read more... )

Well.

I think we've all learned a valuable lesson about microwaving play dough today.

Being the greeter is really bad for my self esteem. Nobody likes the greeter. "AHHH!!! She's going to smile at me and say hello! Run away! Run away ( Read more... )

I got up at 6:30 this morning and spent 8 hours spraying eau de toilette on small paper cards. Apparently, customers at Bath and Body Works are incapable of performing this complex technical procedure for themselves. Finally!! A chance to put my degree in British literature to good use! Unfortunately after constantly spraying little paper cards, ( Read more... )

For the beauty of the earth
For the glory of the skies
For the love which from our birth
Over and around us lies

Lord of all to thee we raise
This, our hymm of grateful praise

Happy Thanksgiving!

On bad days, I seem to end up with alot of theories

Me: Sorry, I can't really read very well. I think the screen on my laptop is broken.
Other Person:  Man, that sucks. How's that happen?
Me: Well, it could be lots of things, but my main theory is because I threw my shoe at it.

Me: Gross. It so smells like burnt yarn in here.
Other Person: Random. Why?
( Read more... )