So I know i haven't updated in forever and I'm sorry everyone. I've been extremely depressed and as some of you know I went into recovery for awhile only because I got soo sick of my family always saying shit about it and my parents were gonna kick me out and I couldn't afford to get kicked out, plus I got really sick of always having to lie and ( Read more... )

Okay I know its been awhile since I've updated, I've been really busy with school. I'm really depressed about this whole recovery thing. I mean I really want to recover and I've been trying to eat all week, I really have but everytime I eat I get upset with myself and get teary. I really have been trying not to freak out after I eat but its very ( Read more... )

I've had alot of thoughts going through my mind the last few days about this whole thing and I really think I can't do this anymore. I'm really hurting my parents and even myself. my parents and I had a decusion today and a few things have changed. they told me that I have untill the end of march to gain 14 pounds(that will put me at 110) and if I' ( Read more... )

I litterly hate my fucking life right now. I hate my parents soo fucking much right now, they are making my life fucking hell. they made me eat fucking spagghetti for dinner, I ate like 4 bites and my dad was like 4 bites is not acceptable, eat more. I lied and told them I didn't feel good and I felt nauseas the last two days and I wasn't gonna eat ( Read more... )

I've been extremely depressed lately. Friday morning my mother asked me how much I weighed and I lied and said 105 and she was like"I don't believe you, get on the scale right now" so yeah she saw that I weigh 96 pounds and freaked out and pretty much told me that if I lose 1 more pound their gonna put me in the hospital. wtf? my parents are gonna ( Read more... )

okay so I fucking hate everything at the moment. last night my parents told me I had to eat dinner and I lied and told them I ate a big lunch and that I didn't have time to eat because I had to go to class so we got in a huge fight and they told me that when I got home from class we were gonna all sit down and have a talk and I was like no we're ( Read more... )

I got my fatass down 2 pounds, which puts me at 96 pounds. thats not good enough, Im not happy with that weight and I won't be happy untill I see that damn scale say 90 pounds and then when it does say 90 I'm gonna get pissed and want it to say 85. I really wanted to be at the most 95 this morning not 96:( well besides that I felt extremely dizzy ( Read more... )

I feel better today then I have in awhile. I'm just really tired and weak and my knee hurts alot because Im a stupid fuck and on sunday when I woke up my knee felt alittle better and I was very depressed so I decided to go for a run well that was a huge mistake. I came home and omg my knee was fucking killing me, i couldn't even straighten my leg ( Read more... )

todays goal is 15 calories or less! wish me luck:)

I still feel really depressed today. I woke up and felt like a fat fuck and I feel really nauseas too. I have a shit load of homework to do this weekend that I have no desire to do. I drank alot of water today but I still feel really nauseas and usually water helps. I'm gonna make some tea soon:) todays goal is 20 calories or less, im hoping zero ( Read more... )