a shallow shell of who i once was ( Read more... )

think i know why i've been at a creative roadblock.
my paintings and writings are crap and never finished and never satisfying
because i started all of them without a story.
i have no stories i wanted to tell.
boring and flat and pointless works. 

hmm. too much to not look forward to after Christmas.
i'm not ready.
too many large responsibilities ahead.
i hate it.

once lost gentility,
once lost brilliance. 

• reading books
• being in a bookstore or a library
• being alone in a cafe
• art museums
• sad but bright white sunshine

less self-consciousness, more carelessness and impulsivity, more unexpected consequences, more self-consciousness ( Read more... )

couldn't control my emotions.
work is gonna be even more torturous from today on.
i wanna crawl into a hole and die.

dunno what i was thinking applying for a job there in the first place...

I must adapt to the fact that I will always be disliked by someone somewhere ( Read more... )

in my next life, i want to be born with IU's voice. 

worse than indifference ( Read more... )