Want, need, acceptance...

[m3lissa320]

I want to write in this more... everyday even. I want to be able to look back when I'm feeling lost. I want to be able to watch myself change and grow. I want to be able to vent, to get everything that I keep inside... out. I want to see that people care. I want to know that I have support. I want to help someone else if I can

Comments

long comment sorry

[andy_boy111]

you know what, i don't even want a dad, like i don't even want the father figure gap to be filled. it's like i'm better without it, even if he was a nice guy. it's weird cause i was seriously thinking about that stuff before you mentioned anything about it and i thought about how cool it might have been if he hadn't done all of that and if he was really the kind of guy we thought he was when we were too little to know better, and if mom and him really loved eachother the whole time, i thought about how that could have been and then i realized how different EVERYTHING would be and it kinda freaked me out, like it was a movie i just watched or something. i don't know, as far as i know, i don't hate him for personal reasons, i hate him for what he's done to you and mom and for the kind of person he is, and i hate him because i'm so fucking scared of growing up and either being somewhat like him or marrying someone like him. i don't want my kids to have that kind of dad, and i've always thought that, i just never really said it outloud.

Re: long comment sorry

[m3lissa320]

I think that was probably the best comment I could have read. I agree about the "my sister is my best friend" thing, and I feel like as we get older we're getting closer because there's a lot more things that we can relate to with eachother. Like with you and Steven and me and Eric and this whole thing about dad. It's really nice to know that I'm not going through this alone and I'm really glad that I have you to go through it with. I mean the support that I get from Mom and Eric and Cherie is unbelieveable, but it's so different to talk to you about it and to know that you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about because you were there. Thanks for being so honest about your feelings with me, it really helps becuase I honestly don't think I could go through this on my own... I mean I wouldn't be on my own per say - but in the way I just described... you know what I mean! lol As far as the looking up to me thing... I really appreciate that and it kind of surprizes me, but in a way it kind of makes more sense to me. I've always looked up to

[crazycherie]

you are my bestest friend and i'm here to listen to u.... vent on me u silly bitch because u have helped me in so many ways. i love u

[m3lissa320]

Ahh my Cherie... thank you so much for being there and I know are. It was just a lot of stuff to do with my dad which is a really really long and boring story lol. But I know you're always there for me and I really appreciate that. You are my bestest friend too and I love you to death!!!