IS THIS THING ON????....turns down mike....oh o.k sorry. I am just a simple.unfrozen caveman writer and your contests.....they frighten me.

I guess I am playing again, but be nice to me ya'll know how sensitive I am.

A heart is the size of a big meaty fist. I picture mine as larger still, and no less a warrior ( Read more... )

Summer is in the air.  The signs are everywhere.  Baseball in Wrigley and Fenway.  Watermelon for lunch with strawberry shortcake for dessert.  Shoe choice, flip flops or sandals.  And for the 47th year, The Mutilator returns to Camp Whispering Pines.

After the 11 dead last year (down from an average of 16 and his 1998 record 28) the nearby town's ( Read more... )

Good morning, maggots, I trust you rested well.  I am Seargeant Aemon Hamner.  Did any of you pretty, pretty puffcakes see the sign above the door.  Do any of you maggots recognize the inscription.

That's right Dante's Inferno, a literate maggot.  You'll be on a transport home in a week.  Oh not just literate maggots, illiterate maggots, multi ( Read more... )

Fun Fact: My real last name is Fry, if you think there are a lot of things out there saltier than a Fry, you are mistaken ( Read more... )

We sell discretion, boy ( Read more... )

Plaguewind is my daughter. The only progeny I am likely to have. I would not take part in her destruction, even were I convinced it were possible. Yes, the answer will remain the same even when you pull some fingernails, I suppose you will break me eventually...perhaps when you think to harm my wife ( Read more... )

Hi, boys and girls. No, don't be frightened, I am a ghost, but a friendly one like Casper. In life I was Fred McFeely Rogers and I had a television show. But you already know this because it aired for 700 years and every fucking person on the planet watched it at one time or another ( Read more... )

I hurt a guy once ( Read more... )

I am nothing special ( Read more... )