:(

I have a date with a fissure now.

Númenór!

Hello.

I have been questing, as of late.

For a new liver.

Yes, that's it.

*wanders off*

Thank you to all of my relatives who have displayed to me the wonder that is my physical beauty.

Because wow.

I am one sexy motherfucker.

Not that I didn't know this before.

But I needed a good reminder of my comeliness.

So I went outside for a walk and I found this woman unconscious underneath a tree.

Hmmmm.

( hmmm... )

( Read more... )

( Read more... )

Hmmm.

Interesting.

My brother was eaten by a dragon or something.

I was getting my hair done and therefore couldn't attempt saving him.

Sorry, bro.

The women love me best.

I think we have a problem.


( Read more... )

While everyone seems to be dying left and right and ensnaring their tongues in general theatrics, I've come to some sort of realisation.

After reading her journal, I know what I want.

Rubies.

For my dead fish.

My dead fish would appreciate it greatly.

And so would I.