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[magic_8balls]

hey, what is going on? i wake up to this feedbeast screeching at me so i look and see what is up, and it yells at me that i have been away for the lion's part of a year? of course this is MY part of a year, but that is not the plain reasoning that i am meaning to say. i do not remember this business of being away! the last thing that was happening

Comments

[king_of_mods]

so you're saying theres no bottles and no women where you are, but what about some tall, thick-round-the-middle but lanky-legged bloke with a paltry 'tache and a squinty look to him? answers to the name of howard moon?

and i'll say rudi's been lookin for you! why the radio silence, simba? thought you and the monk were supposed to be brothers, yeah?

[magic_8balls]

ah, i do not think so, i can't see any people at all, but maybe he is hiding, you know? how long have you been missing him? maybe HE is in the desert! these missing people, they turn up all over the place, so who knows?

we are bongo brothers, yes! it was not on purpose that i went and stopped thinking, you know? i maybe would have told someone if someone had told ME that i would be blacking out soon. no warning, no nothing.

[king_of_mods]

i reckon its been a few months, but if he's in that desert then he's probably doomed, the man doesn't do well in the sun and comes out of a day in the rays looking like jerky.

maybe one of the shaman could set you up with a wristwatch alarm, something that beeps when you're about to black out but gives you 10 minutes to ring up a few friends and find a nice, soft bed to collapse on.

[magic_8balls]

oh, i am sorry, in that case i hope he is not in the desert! maybe a jungle somewhere, or the arctic? lots of times people go missing in those places, i think. i am sure that you will find him if he wants to be found, you know?

hey, that's not a bad idea! is naboo still around? maybe i could talk to him about fixing me with someting like that.

[bikinuswax]

Did you do me on a beach in Brasil? Circa June 2002, or maybe 2001.

Blackout years, everyone has them.

[magic_8balls]

i may have, who knows? rudi says there is no one i have not slept with, and he is probably right. i was in brasil then, i made love to many women. probably you were one of them!

spider dijon does not have blackout years! i am strong, like the ox lion! i remember the things i do, or i know the reason why. this missing time, it is strange to me!

[bikinuswax]

One of many women? Probably we didn't, then. The wider the net, the harder I swim, yes?

Looks like you have blackout years now, darling.

[magic_8balls]

what do you mean by this, with the nets and the swimming? why can people not say what they mean without driving horses through the garden?

ah, you're right. what is wrong with me? i am usually so good with knowing how much to take! there must have been something extra this time, that is all i can think. it is ridiculous, what people will do to you once you think you can trust them!

[naboo_thats_who]

Spider? Fuck me!

Er, I mean-

look, just - where have you been?

[magic_8balls]

i, eh, do not think i will be doing that first thing.

i don't know where i have been, do i? i could have been asleep for a year, or doing things i can't remember, or a bit of both! something has taken my time away from me without my saying that it could.

[naboo_thats_who]

Bloody hell. Sounds like dark voodoo magics to me. Are you still in the desert? Want a lift? Can swing by on the carpet, if you like.

Rudi's living at mine now, by the way. I'm sure he'd like to see you.

Er, probably.

[magic_8balls]

yeah, could you do that? i am still in the desert. i am near to a cactus plant, but other than that i am not sure where i am.

pah, rudi is never liking to see me. but i would like to see him anyway. i am sure there are things to be talked about.

[capt_margaret]

I did not go to the desert to shake the fog from my head, imbecile, nor did I transfer any mog to your mind. Even if I did, I doubt you would even notice a foreign presence clouding your mind. Your going away had no responsibility on my part, you left and I did not know where you had gone nor could seek to prevent you doing anything stupid.

It would not surprise me to learn that you have been drinking that foul spirits, nor that the women deserted you after. Honestly, you have never had the misfortune of listening to your drunken snores and moans.

You cannot begin to comprehend the magnitude of events that have transpired in your absence. The guitar we had bought to resurrect the band was cursed by a demon, the likes of which you have never met and I pray never will. This has not been an easy year for me, and you will find I have changed. Perhaps for better or for worse, it is not for I to decide. I have missed you, Spider.

I thought we had an agreement that you would never ask me about women?

[magic_8balls]

do not be insulting my snores and my moans, rudi van disarzio. they are strong and manly like the rest of me, and the women love them.

a demon! oh, i am glad i was not there for that, even if i did not mean to be away. hey, rudi, i am sorry i left and did not tell you, but i didn't know i was going to be gone so long, did i? eh, if i did, i can't remember it. i miss you too, even if the missing did not start until i woke up.

did we have this agreeing? i do not remember it. but there is most of a year i do not remember, maybe it was taken with that.

[well_bum]

All right?

Losing big bits of the year, well Saint Anthony.

Rudi, the guy in a dress, yeah? You in a dress too? Monks and shit? Suited to Sundays, that.

[magic_8balls]

i do not wear dresses! well, that one time, after i got my door. but that was long ago and best forgotten, you know? no, i do not wear a dress, and i am nothing like a monk! they do not do the things i can do, and it makes them boring. rudi, he is a great guy, you know, but he is still a bit long in the windpipe if you know what i mean.

[well_bum]

...Door? Someone smashed down yours too? Seems to be all the rage here, 'specially amongst electro-girls. Look out for them is my tip, yeah? Violent things.

Monks are well boring. Met some once, well cream pie.

Not-a-dress/dress discussion could go on to horisontal-8. Don't matter much, yeah?: anything goes 'round here. Just a pop 'round Naboo's gaff might end you up in make-up. And married to fish...

I don't run into Rudi much. You're a band, yeah? Might check you out if you're on the circuit some day.

[magic_8balls]

ah, i did not have it for very long. it means i cannot drink or make love, and to hell with that! it is a door to nothing fun, let me tell you that.

i am going to pretend i cannot see what you have crossed out there, i think it is bad for my mind.

we were a band, yeah, before i went and forgot a year. i do not know if he will still want to make the music with me, you know? when naboo comes to get me he will take me to where rudi is and i will know if we are still brothers.