-
My European adventure!
I can't believe that 2014 is the year I am finally going to explore the world! Well, some of it at least! My flight to London is booked for March, my bus tour around a gazillion countries is booked, sailing the Greek Islands and cruising the sea between Italy, Turkey, Croatia and Greece! It's all so exciting! ....at least most days. Tonight, I'm ( Read more... ) -
A Vow of Celibacy
OK so I just googled "Vow of Celibacy" and it was all about giving up sex and sexual relationships for life, for a variety of reasons. So, I dont wanna give sex up for good - that's for sure!! But I am going to try to take time out to be by myself...sexually and otherwise (LOL!). After a great talk with Bec, she helped me realise I never took the ( Read more... ) -
confused...
I honestly dont know what to do with myself. I've spent the past 5 days stressing the hell out to the point I gave myself heart palpitations and made a mental plan of what to do if I had a heart attack in Lakes Entrance! On my mind: (on a good day!) My relationship with W and where we're going (if anywhere :(), my impending overseas travels, my ( Read more... ) -
You dont say you love me anymore...
You're overseas and I miss you more than anything. Before you left I only saw you one day in over a week...and we didn't even get to make love. I wait all night and day to hear your voice when you finally calling, never knowing when that may be, only to feel disheartened afterwards. You hardly ask me anything about how I am or what I've been doing ( Read more... ) -
Love and Loss
I love you so much. More than anything else in my world. I know you love me too. I love seeing love in your eyes for me. I love it when you say it. I love feeling it. That's why it will be so, so hard to leave you. I'm still not even sure I can. I know I don't want to. I never want to leave your side. And I never want you to leave mine. I wish I ( Read more... ) -
Sigh
Will there ever come a day when I don't hate myself? Day after day I disgust myself, whether I'm looking in the mirror or down at my lumps of fat and feel so much hatred. I just wish I could grab a sharp knife in one hand and a piece of blubber in the other and cut it off. I just want it all to go away and leave me the fuck alone. I want food to ( Read more... ) -
Loss
I lost my best friend the day I got married. Shouldn't it be the other way round? I gained a husband, but that was the day I lost the person I grew up with and the friend I wanted to grow old with. I just watched Bridesmaids. Hilarious, but sad because I can relate to so many themes. But everytime I watch it I cry because they get to have a happy ( Read more... ) -
Update on the heartbreak
As I haven't been writing in here daily about how heartbroken and devastated I am, you could probably guess things have returned to a good place between W and I. We lasted two whole painful days apart, still in contact via text and phone, before he came to his senses and realised what a great thing we have. He still doesn't know if he wants to have ( Read more... ) -
Ode to my Bed
There’s something about my bed and I need to work out what it is. It isn’t always just MY bed, it can be any comfy bed really. Usually either mine or W’s though. Sleeping during the day just brings some special sense of peace over me. There is no pressure to fall asleep, to fear of waking up early with the demands of the day ahead. The only task is ( Read more... ) -
Its not finished...
I guess I knew this day would come, I just never wanted it to. My love for you is so strong I guess I honestly believed it would get us through anything. But I can't change your mind. I can't make you do something you don't want to. I can't convince you that love will get us through ( Read more... )