So I called my doctor because I was having horrible dreams and feeling just awful on that Chantix pill. I'm usually pretty even tempered. Not much for drama. I don't get seriously upset very often and I was just weeping and wondering what the point of living was.. So.. I'm not supposed to take that anymore. Honestly, if it made me that stressed out ( Read more... )

I'm slightly better today. Nothing a vicodin, good food and some sleep, can't... improve. Not fixed, but I'm better. I doubt I'll ever be fixed. I go through severe bouts of depression sometimes. It's not something I usually share with people.  Mostly, I go off on my own for a few days, no one sees or hears from me, I do what I do, and then I come ( Read more... )

When I was young I was so angry.. Just angry at everything. I felt trapped and like I was this square peg, getting repeatedly shoved into a round hole. Especially with my family. I was so guarded. I felt judged. It felt impossible to be myself. The older I get, it seems, the better I control my anger. The happier I am. I'm motivated to do things. I ( Read more... )

Have you ever been to American wedding ( Read more... )

I have never wanted to sleep in my car more than I do right now. These people that my father brought into my life are so childish and catty it makes me want to scream ( Read more... )

Every time Sean is with someone else, this song says exactly how I feel.

FROU FROU

"It's Good To Be In Love"

I don't know where to start
Say i'm sorry or throw a party
These cucumber eyes are lying the more that i smile about it
And all of my clothes feel like somebody's old throwaways
I don't like it

It's good to be in love
It really does suit ( Read more... )

Ouch. You're dumping me ( Read more... )

The night before last I had two dreams. I only remember one. The little bit that I did remember made me cry. Both dreams in one night made me weep. Sucked.
Anyway, the first dream involved my dad taking Buffy and putting her to sleep without telling me. I raged so hard, I probably could have killed him, like, screaming, shaking, nearly frothing at ( Read more... )

Had another dream.. While I was taking a nap this afternoon. I had gone on a drive, I was with someone else, don't know who they were anymore. We were in my dads Yukon. It was snowing. The roads were awful, 4 feet of snow along the roads and nothing but these deep lines from where cars had forced their way through. We drive down this steep hill, ( Read more... )

"Its gonna take a lot to drag me away from you ( Read more... )