majortom

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majortom Mar 11, 2007 12:10

Britney and K-Fed in Five Years

Drunk mother: So, do... When we should send the kids to bed?
Drunk father: Well, the older one can stay up later tonight... What the fuck is that kid's name...?
Drunk mother: Brianna?
Drunk father: Who the hell...? I mean, Sabrina.
Drunk mother: You're holding Sabrina.
Drunk father: Cassie! Send the other two to bed in an ( Read more... )

I'm a Wii bit euphoric.

majortom Mar 04, 2007 14:50

So ( Read more... )

I'll have to try this...

majortom Feb 22, 2007 20:01

9AM Um, Didn't You Attempt Suicide Last Year?

Cashier #1: Hey man, I think I might be gay.
Cashier #2: What's wrong?
Cashier #1: I keep having fantasies about being with a man. What should I do?
Cashier #2: Jerk off. A lot. If you do it enough, it'll get the gay out. It worked for me.

HEB Austin 15, North Lamar
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Jeff

via ( Read more... )

PLEASE SEND ME MUSIC! I'M BORED!!!

majortom Feb 14, 2007 19:56

TO ANYONE WHO READS MY JOURNAL!

I'm stuck in the office overnight tonight because of the storm!

if any kind souls would like to send me mp3s tthrough email that i can load onto my mp3 player i would be forever in your debt.
new music exposure is a good things people.
I stress e-mailing it to me because my office has most file download sites blocked ( Read more... )

I'm reading a James Patterson novel about kids with feathered wings???

majortom Feb 11, 2007 09:00

I found these on Post Secret. My inner-emo sometimes battles with me and wins out after awhile... but all that aside... Valentines Day.

I'm single for the first time.
in about 4 years.
I'm not pulling my hair out, eating 8 orders of chinese food or cutting my wrists. Actually I'm pretty...we'll okay.
is that wrong?
It's actually kind of bittersweet.

( Read more... )

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majortom Feb 10, 2007 16:51

I was watching some Strangers With Candy this morning after yoga, before paying bills, in the middle of cleaning my room. (yes ( Read more... )

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majortom Feb 05, 2007 00:31

From the Trailer for Peter Pansexual

Chick: Okay, so let me get this straight -- you left a top secret threesome at 4:30 in the morning, only to take home a guy you then met on the subway platform who you kicked out of your bed two hours later because your girlfriend was coming home in half an hour?
Guy: Uh, yeah, that's about right.
Chick: Sweet ( Read more... )

Playlists........ I suppose

majortom Feb 02, 2007 20:55

Nothing really interesting happened this week to be honest. I've just been going to classes and working (as usual).

Made two little playlists for myself for the weekend. One just to casually listen to while I work, read, schlep around the house. The other, a homo-tastic funk-tastic booty bumper old skool mix. Enjoy

"double négatif ( Read more... )

Goldilocks was a C.U.Next Tuesday

majortom Jan 29, 2007 17:15

So this will register on the top gayest posts in the history of this journal.
Why, you ask?
I'll tell you why -- becuase it's a post about my hair.
An entry devoted to one's hair (unrelated to hair-loss, which thankfully I don't have to worry about) automatically consitutes as 'gay'.
The reasons are plentiful but aren't worth mentioning. Frankly, ( Read more... )

boise - i da ho(e), hair, experiment, conditioner, gay

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majortom Jan 27, 2007 22:03

So I've had this livejournal since 2001... frightening -- yes I know ( Read more... )

woah the past