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I feel no connection to anyone except my mom and lily. My mom I love her more than anything and then resent her, and lily she just depends on me and keeps me alive, bc I love her so much. Andrew I have to have sex with in order to get help around the house and secretly cringe with every movement and past trauma pops it's head up. . I am screaming ( Read more... ) -
Just some thoughts
Articulating. To convey a message. I believe people that are "enlightened" chose to remain silent because how do you speak of something somebody else just cannot comprehend. And all the wasted breathes of hidden messages of what I want to believe is just damn intelligent. Or to think some one is relaying a message by word play,... " oh I know what ( Read more... ) -
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Seeing something is much differant than feeling it ( Read more... ) -
Reinventing myself pt. 2
Came up with some ideas to better the way I feel and most likely will have better actions ( Read more... ) -
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Cruel fate would make that possible right? Have your eyes upon me not even knowing. But if I could see you would it change anything? Would I all of a sudden become healed. Maybe, maybe you gave up too quickly. How sad I am not worth the effort. We all want to think we're special but when other people's veiws are screaming at you that you well just ( Read more... ) -
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After a tiresome argument with Andrew that really went no where, IV reflected that it is my own doubts to be a good provider for Lilly ( Read more... ) -
Complain and rainy day
I don't know if he's still just getting used to the baby or just plain out dosent care for her as much. He seems to talk and give his cats much more affection. I like the cats don't get me wrong. This was a joint process. I have no respect for him at this point not as a partner nor as a father one big disappointment. I'm not surprised. And I don't ( Read more... ) -
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It's like I can see in my sub conscious my mourning self. I am me but different. All in black nails black lips dark eyes. I am thin and fragile. My hair is black tightly wrapped in a bun with a veil over it. I stay in a very cold dark rocky underground. I have pictures of those I have lost and have hurt and what I do is mourn and cry over ( Read more... ) -
<3
Love is simple i love you Andrew I will love you forever you are my everything.
Lets play a game it called be strong! and we will prevail I love you.
your soul mate -
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hopeless mindless ( Read more... )