What's Your Favorite Colour?

[malchienne]

I don't discuss it much because generally it's irrelevant, people either don't know or don't care - and frankly my identity isn't super-tied up with it and I prefer to live in a color-blind world.

But I am what my mom used to call "mixed" and also that "I pass" - for white that is.

Comments

[squeezles]

I can't believe people are seriously rude enough to ask you about the kids father.

[malchienne]

I know. Weird isn't it? I grasp that we all have categories in our heads, even if we try not to, but how it is relevant or necessary to inquire is beyond me. I think people are being friendly or trying to be social and don't think at all about what the question that leaps into their heads even means. Behind it though is these assumptions about who we are and if it's even important.

I got similar slightly rude but friendly questions about being pregnant when Charlotte was clearly still pre-toddler. Like I said, I try to field questions as though they are innocently posed except when someone is clearly being pointed or hurtful. Then I just try to escape.

[malchienne]

it's hard to say about your niece. I'm guessing the world is a lot more open than it was when I was a youngster. I took a bit of crap from both sides. I found it easier to just be white since that's what I look, but the joke is on me I guess since the issue has re-emerged to a degree.

[newmistakes]

Wow, I can't believe people would ask that. This is incredible to me. You handle it so well, I think I would be very rude in response.

[malchienne]

I know isn't it bizarre? my friends are like, 'there's no way she said that." but it has happened before, albeit not quite as bluntly. I feel like I am some sort of magnet for some sort of permission to blurt crap. I don't know, it is baffling. thanks for being appropriately incredulous, it makes me feel less like I'm on my own weird planet.

[newmistakes]

Oh no, she's the one on the weird planet. And I just wish people like that would bloody stay there away from the rest of us!

[selucius]

After reading this, I tried to imagine myself going up to a woman I don't know and asking about the race of her baby's father. Nope. Don't think that would happen.

[malchienne]

I appreciate your saying so, it's really thrown me for a loop for a day or two. I normally just let most things slide but this got under my skin. it makes me mad. I have to be honest. I still think trying not to get riled and be honest if something like this happens again is the best course.