It’s taken me well over 10 years...10 FREAKING YEARS!!!...and a life that consists of Tha Wife and Tha Dog (Hey, in my blog, family members get this “Tha” treatment - don’t ask me why…forget to hit spell check one time and you suddenly have a hook) being the only breathing beings I see on a consistent daily basis, to come to this realization:  ( Read more... )

During the course of doing my job I hear numerous songs the likes of which I've not heard in a little while.  These songs usually either take me back to when the song first was popular or make me laugh at how corny they are.  This got me wondering, what would these songs sound like if they were covered today ( Read more... )

Does it make me a bad husband if I want to use the TV's V-chip to remove the following channels: Lifetime, Lifetime Movies, and Oxygen?

I'm gonna do it either way, I just want to know.

Note: Yes this is sarcasm.

Say what you want, but Tha Wife knows how to take a joke.

Tuesday (my normal day off) she comes home and I tell her "You know, I'm totally sexually frustrated."

Wife says, "Oh really?"

I said, "Hells yes.  I got laid more when I was a virgin."

Her response?  "Well see, then you're prepared for this type of situation."

Check and mate.

Borrowing a line from a Rodney Carrington song, "it's those little things, those itty bitty things...it's those little things like that that piss me off."

Read a couple articles on ESPN that just bugged the living shite out of me, and it just led me to start listing out, for the first time really, things that annoy me, from little pet peeves to ( Read more... )

If I have to see one more "Celebrity ______" type of show I think I might eat my own face.

"Dancing With The Stars", "Skating With Celebrities", "Celebrity Fear Factor" (here's a good idea for an event, make celebs get their own double-mocha half-caff jolt of java...you'll see fear then, my friends).

This ( Read more... )

I have two words for you.  Actually it's just one, but it's a hyphenated word, and man does it now strike pain in my entire body, but mostly my nostrils.

Dog-farts.

Our dog has the worst ( Read more... )

Picked up the dog yesterday (Friday).  Tha Wife and I were all pumped and ready to welcome him into the family.  First thing he does when he comes home?  Drops a deuce that was bigger than his whole body, after which he gave me this look as if to say, "no, welcome to MY family, bitch!"

And the thing is, he's right.  My whole schedule is now going to ( Read more... )

Texas wins 41-38.  I'm glad, thrilled even.  But one thing still bothers me.

The media fucked it all up.

The media had to go on an all-out blitz, with ESPN trying to rank the USC team among the all-time greatest teams...before they even played the title game.

That ranking stuff, which they spent at least a week on if I recall, doesn't matter now, ( Read more... )

Every once in a while I like to take a look at my hometown newspaper's website, so when I call home or they call me, we have stuff to make fun of.

Once again, the paper doesn't disappoint.

Yep, that's the school superintendent, dismissing anything the governor has to say as just politics.  Never mind that he actually agrees with everything the ( Read more... )