I FUCKING HATE MY MOTHER!!!!

college couldn't come any sooner! I just want to get out and never look back! I can't wait for the door to close on this shity chapter of my life!!!!!!!

I want people to see what I'm like. not like on the surface. but what is deep inside of me. the person that I don't let people get to know. I want to be loved by people and not feel inferior all the time. I'm thirsty for God and my soul is on fire for him. I'm learning more everyday that it IS ok to trust him. Its ok to trust people ( Read more... )

sooo....here is some randomness from the life of Amanda ( Read more... )

IT is SUMMER! and guess what!? I am up BEFORE 8! this is sooo NOT cool!

so, almost every night I go and walk laps. sometimes I run the straights and walk the curves, but I can't usaually do a whole mile that way cuz I'm really out of shape so I can't run! but tonight I did a whole mile! woop woop! I've only lost like 5 lbs. so far, but hopefully I'll lose some more cuz I want to fit into this one pair of jeans, and ( Read more... )

so, it turns out that he hasn't even read it yet and that I'm freakin out about nothin! but now I'm just worried about what he'll think when he reads it!

he's gonna read it tonight and then I'll update again!

pray that everything works out ok!

so....I'm slowly going crazy waiting for him to call....and simply wonderin if he's gonna call at all. I'm scared that I'll lose everything I worked so hard to teach myself about being positive in the past few months. I don't want to get hurt again, but at least I won't have to see him everyday. I want to be a worthy person. I want only the best ( Read more... )

I just wanna break you down so badly
Well I trip over everything you say
Well I just wanna break you down so badly
In the worst way (worst way)

well, I love my new job!
I got to hand out w/ Lauren and Darcy(that was really fun)
I helped clean out the guard room and assemble C~dawgs new furniture
I'm still tired....but I'm ok w/ that.
I wish I had the will power to lose weight, but I don't
I miss HIM....but what else is new?

and that's about it for now! this week has been PIMP!

I can't sleep. which causes me to lie awake thinking! and guess what I can't stop thinking about? HIM!!!ahhhh! I don't even feel like thinking about him! its stupid think about a guy you like who you never get to see at 11:42 at night!!! I'm slowly going insane!

soon I will find my sanity....at least I hope so!