Wow, your celebrity cellmate is

Paris Hilton!
Oh, dah-ling! A delicate little lamb like you needs a perfectly posh prison buddy, and that's why you're bunking with none other than Paris. Maybe you're not an heiress (or a snob), but you enjoy the finer things in life and aren't afraid to ask for what you want. Even if you're not actually a debutante ( Read more... )

I miss ( Read more... )

  crusty old man walks into the local First Baptist Church  and says ( Read more... )

Holy Prostitution ( Read more... )

 minister was completing a Temperance sermon. With great emphasis he ( Read more... )

> Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and ( Read more... )

> Apartment Rental ( Read more... )

SMART ASS ANSWERS

It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.

"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.

"What are my choices?" John asked.

"Yes or no," she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket ( Read more... )

Anger Management
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> I thought maybe you could use this information.    Be sure to use an unlisted number when you call. Or you might want to just get rid of your phone to prevent this.
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> When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don' ( Read more... )

One day while  passing a nursing home  I noticed 6 old ladies lying naked on the grass. I thought this was a bit unusual, but continued on my way to the store. 
On my return trip, I passed the same Nursing Home  with the same six old ladies laying naked on the lawn.
This  time my curiosity got the best of me & I went inside to talk to the manager.
( Read more... )