We should replace the president with a monkey. No more vote recounts, no more Iraq. Monkies only care about two things; there much simpler than humans. Food and sex. We eat and we reproduce. no nukes, no oil, no "Don't mess with Texas" bullshit. The only problem is that people would probably fight over what the president monkey should be called. I' ( Read more... )

I got soul but I'm not a soldier.

Listen to Punk music ( Read more... )

If I had a dollar for every time I had 83 cents I would be Canada.

St. John Neumann is a joke. Mr Higgins should be the new principle and we could call it St. John Higgins. We could then watch Remember the Titans every day and talk about assinating Hillary Clinton.

Mark Church ( Read more... )

For some strange reason going on the internet in the local library is so much more fun than doing it at home.

The other day I opened an eBay account. So I went on eBay and tried to see if I could buy a person. I searched human. There were 6052 entries. To make sure that I could definatly buy people online I double checked it. I searched for people: 15681 items found. Then I searched for hard working person: 253 items found. Finally I searched for human ( Read more... )

[insert witty satirical and inspiring comment here]

Laws they should make for girlfriends ( Read more... )