I don't really know why I'm writing here. I've neglected it for so long it seems so pointless now. Maybe this is my cry for help, the tool I need to get better. If I could only find the words that will explain this explosion inside of me. This rage that's triggered day after day and doesn't end. My eating disorder, Ihate it so much that I just want ( Read more... )

Wow it's been a long time. Let me make a quick update.. i plan on posting more often. I HAVE a freaking eating disorder and I had to go away to the hospital for a while, and I was doing really well until my recent relapse. I don't have anything to motivate me to get better anymore.. and frankly my life is shooting to hell faster than I can think. I ( Read more... )

I've debated whether or not to write the degree of my so called "problem" I'm mor e along the lines of denial than anything, and I don't think I could come to terms with what the hell they say is exactly wrong with me. In a sense, I wonder if I'm afraid of having anyone/everyone in my buisness, I like my world isolated and alone. I was happy the ( Read more... )

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Where to begin? it's been months since my last update. I don't even know If I could come to terms with what is going on. My life is now offically turned upside. All of the control and desire and everything I've worked for has slowly been pulled from me. Despite my efforts to keep my life together have failed and I am not far from rock bottom. I've ( Read more... )

long time no updates..

my world is in the process of crashing down.. one day small fragments are removed from the bottem.. and once my life is completely dismanteled.. everything will come down.. falling into my lap.. and i only have one person to blame. fuck me.

today.. i told my mom everything. this will change my life.. and i dont know whether to embrace it, or fight it. whatever i chose will affect my life in the most serious aspect.

love you all.
amy

this is the longest.. i've neglected updating my journal. I don't even know where to begin.. or what to write about.. or even how I feel. My whole life seems to be crashing all the way down. I live in a world that no one can see. A world, hidden away from everyone.. a world no one knows of.. and I'm kind of glad. In a sense, one part of me feels as ( Read more... )

sometimes the hardest thing is to ask for help, especially if you don't realize there's anything wrong at all.

MERRRRRRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

-amy

i havent updated in a while.. my life has been crazy latley. im sick, im tired.. im bored.. i just cant begin to start to describe.. the emotions i feel could pull me in 1000 directions. my mind could explode, if my mind could write it would write enough words to fill an ocean. my whole life feels smushed and.. i dont know. im looking for a new job ( Read more... )