Noel's Guide to Girls

[materialsgirl83]

I've decided to put together a guide to what's actually going on inside the female mind for all the clueless guys out there in the world. If any girl has any objections to what I say here, POST!!! If you are a guy and you have a specific question...POST!!! I was thinking of doing commonly asked questions and then answering them. Suggestions are

Comments

[alruthebold]

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Noel said:
Whether or not this is true is not relevant.
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I don't think I agree with this. Without getting gender biased, people should not put other people in a position where they have to avoid a question (especially when they know exactly what they're doing), and people should not lie except under more extreme circumstances than these.

I guess that, to this effect, my only question is along these lines: certainly, guys are guilty of the same thing, but all I ever hear or experience is about girls, so keeping in mind the half of the population I belong to isn't really any better, what's the female perspective on mind games like "do I look fat in this?" (or perhaps worse ones). Why DO they really ask that? You answered how to field the question, so to speak, but not why a girl would seriously ask it

[bethfish]

I'm not sure it always is a mind game Alex. As a girl who doesn't have the best fashion sense in the world, but who does happen to have a suspiciously camp boyfriend, often times I ask if something suits me because I'm not the expert in the room. Not only do I not have a good sense of what's fashionable/appropriate (especially in the UK), I'm not the one who can walk around and see me from all sides without squirming in front of a mirror.

Also - if it's not a genuine question, my first guess would not be that it's a mind game in the sense that I think you mean, where the goal is to get the upper hand in a relationship. I would think it more likely that the question is a bid for attention, roughly equal to 'Look at me! Aren't I attractive in this new thing that I just bought/am about to buy?" Feeling the need to play for attention like this isn't a sign of the best relationship, or perhaps the most maturity, but it's a long way from Machiavellian stratagems.
As for actual mind games, where the goal is to put the other person down, or

[alruthebold]

Well, I guess I kind of lumped playing for attention into mind games because they so often overlap, or at least did in the cases I'm familiar with. I might have done that because I was afraid that was the actual answer. Thanks for the well thought-out response, though. At least I know, now :P

[materialsgirl83]

I think Beth explained it better than I could. The cry for attention is something I forgot to mention. Thanks for clearing up what I left unclear Beth.

PS-YEAH! I got people to comment on something I wrote!

[sistermorphine]

i stand for honesty and against mind-games. i would not want any part of a relationship that wasn't based in trust, honesty, and communication.

it pisses me off when people try to sugarcoat such petty little things. real life is not a game of patty-cake, and if you've got something to say, then have the balls to say it. i am turned-off by guys who don't have the courage or faith in their convictions or confidence to speak their mind.

regarding the responses you've suggested regarding nice ways to get a girl to change her outfit: if a guy said either of those things to me, i'd be offending by being so patronised.

but then again, i'm not the type of girl who'd if something made me look fat, and i wouldn't get pissy if he said it did. also, i like beer and power tools and movies with gratuitous violence. i can't walk in heels and i can't stomach chick-flicks, and i'm just not a representative girly-girl.

[bobicus]

Well.....
I like boobies. What can I say?

[alruthebold]

This is an excellent point I forgot to mention.

[ydnahij]

I HATE MIKE. HE STOLE MY COMMENT. GRRRRR.

[xew_lupus]

At least he properly used a question mark ;P