little miss car crash core over here ( Read more... )

this is all so fucking terrifying, because i guess at 4 + something something in the morning you actually realize how different you might just be, and that is lonely. so. we should probably realize first how pathetic it is that i am sitting here at my computer bawling my eyes out over the most nothingness that one could even imagine ( Read more... )

i just want to scream and cry until you love me.

or sleep.

and its not even like i lost anything. i never even fucking had it.

whatever. im not screaming. every paranoia i had, she simply just covered with some sort of compliment or love letter. it's what i think i want, but hate. and i dont even know which letter in the alphabet is the most caring, but i am sure she has it saved in an envelope for the worst of my moments. that very last second. and we gasp over the same ( Read more... )

she remembered how i was, so she liked me better at the time, and i guess maybe she was sort of proud, but probably actually just really pissed off about who was at the expense of my new found maturity ( Read more... )

sail into screaming, i secretly (though it doesnt have to be) wish it was about me, like it would have been, but thats okay. so last night was horrible. and i froze to death, then drove home trying to understand everything that has gone on.... ever maybe. and i wanted to fucking understand, WHY, out of all the things that have happened, why the ( Read more... )

everyone evercome to me. nowwwwwwwwww.

yesterday the gas station guy was all "i like your makeup. where do you work? have you ever been to a brazillian party?". it was funny. and then the mcdonalds drive thru guy wanted to hold hands with me. oye oye.

( ~~~**shannon**~~ )

but you know i could dress the same. but it would still be different. although this has taken place in two different locations, the sight i'd seen from that angle looked exactly the same, and i got up to look at myself, because thats what i do, and there was blood smeared up my face, and blue leaking from my eyes. a lighter blue than before, and 3 ( Read more... )

this morning i woke up to a blow up orange juice, a trip to mcdonalds, and my lovely wife.

thank you izzy <3