Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess with a wicked stepmother, and she ran away, but wound up locked in a high tower and had to grow out her hair, then cut it off and made a rope. She escaped, but ran into seven angry midgets in the forest, who kidnapped her and stole her glass slippers, and there was a tornado and she wound up in Neverland and Captain Hook and his pet wolf (who was big and bad, both) made her sleep on a mattress with vegetables under it every night and then she escaped by punching Captain Hook in the face and then she rode Mother Goose to safety, except for the Goose was hungry so it ran right into a Mad Tea Party and started eating all the butter
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Once there was a dinosaur named Lester. He liked to kick it with his homedinos and they would all go rollin' down to the Valley to get some grass and hit on the pterodactyls. Later they would chill by the stream and get the munchies, so they'd have to eat some delicious deciduous trees and have a seriously philosophical debate about who would win in a street fight: T-Rex vs. Army of Velociraptors. Lester voted for the Velocirpators, because Lester liked the underdog in any story, but also because Velociraptors totally devoured his mom's carcass when he was eight, so he had a judicious fear of them
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Once there was a dinosaur named Lester. He liked to kick it with his homedinos (BEST WORD EVER) and they would all go rollin' (Very descriptive term for the activity.) down to the Valley to get some grass and hit on the pterodactyls. Later they would chill by the stream and get the munchies (Does this have to do with the plant life?), so they'd have to eat some delicious deciduous trees and have a seriously philosophical debate about who would win in a street fight: T-Rex vs. Army of Velociraptors (That's hardly a question. Velociraptors. T-Rexes couldn't reach them, you see. Little arms.). Lester voted for the Velocirpators, because Lester liked the underdog (THE BEST CARTOON!) in any story, but also because Velociraptors totally devoured his mom's carcass when he was eight, so he had a judicious fear of them.
One day Lester was roaming the high plains of Pangaea thinking about Daisy, the hottie Spinosaurus he had been scamming on since they met over the annual Chase The Hairy Biped Mammal race in September (HAVE YOU BEEN TO THAT
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Once there was a dinosaur named Daisy, the hottest spinosaurus in the Valley. Daisy, she was a show dino. With a dress right down to there and a flower in her hair. She was a misunderstood dinosaur, really. A sweeter, more even tempered dinosaur, there couldn't be found. Why, she spent her days singing with the flowers and only eating other dinosaurs that were sick, elderly, or limping a bit -- no wonder no one complained when she started munching on the disfigured Ansersaurus. But back to Daisy
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Once upon a time, a princess had some stupid bad shit happen to her and got locked up somewhere, guarded by dragons and stuff. A stuffed up prince came to rescue her, got his ass kicked, then cheated and defeated the dragons. He broke into the princess's cell and said "Yay I win! We get married now, you have my babies
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If I tell you a story will you promise not to go at it with a red pen? Believe me, the red pen it will eventually face is worse than it could possibly be.
There once was a son of a glover who could paint extraordinarily well. His father made a series of bum investments that it very nearly seemed that he'd have to be a notary, but luckily his talent allowed him to dodge that bullet. He became the apprentice of a famous painter (well, rather a famous painter's apprentice's apprentice, until he improved), and he could mimic another painter so well that it became his job to mimic that painter. This may have given him a creative complex which he never overcame. He wanted to paint things on his own, but according to his contemporaries he never developed one--they felt that his variations in style were poor-quality mimicries, not stylistic strides that would later influence the impressionists. Due to courtly demand he began painting scenes of extreme sensuousness (for the period), but which were so lush and earnest as to be nearly comical, which his contemporaries enjoyed but did not quite respect. Still. The glover's son achieved success enough to make a
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One day Lester was roaming the high plains of Pangaea thinking about Daisy, the hottie Spinosaurus he had been scamming on since they met over the annual Chase The Hairy Biped Mammal race in September (HAVE YOU BEEN TO THAT ( ... )
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Dirty.
NO IT IS STILL TOTALLY USABLE.
Some stories are shorter than others.
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WHAT WERE YOU DOING WHEN YOU FOUND IT? WALKING? FROM WHERE? TO WHERE?
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But, I will try! I promise!
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There once was a son of a glover who could paint extraordinarily well. His father made a series of bum investments that it very nearly seemed that he'd have to be a notary, but luckily his talent allowed him to dodge that bullet. He became the apprentice of a famous painter (well, rather a famous painter's apprentice's apprentice, until he improved), and he could mimic another painter so well that it became his job to mimic that painter. This may have given him a creative complex which he never overcame. He wanted to paint things on his own, but according to his contemporaries he never developed one--they felt that his variations in style were poor-quality mimicries, not stylistic strides that would later influence the impressionists. Due to courtly demand he began painting scenes of extreme sensuousness (for the period), but which were so lush and earnest as to be nearly comical, which his contemporaries enjoyed but did not quite respect. Still. The glover's son achieved success enough to make a ( ... )
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That's not an awful story. TRAGEDY~
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