I have been writing haikus... what do you think?

I did my laundry
when I say did my laundry
I mean fucked your mom

Do you want to see how hot I am?

Of course you do! So that's where I encourage you to go here and watch me talk ( Read more... )

AHAHAHAHA ALL YOU FUCKERS HAVE THE FLU!

I didn't get sick. I have an immunity system like steel. I am the Superman of the Influenza.

Thanks for not giving your germs to Flexi. I don't want him to die.

Maybe now I'll get another goal this season. Wait, I had one before right? You can't take my goal away from me!

Have a great game, sickies!

Things have been mostly great minus the injury to my wrist which we aren't going to talk about. It meant having to give back my daughter for Marie-Christine to take care of, even when I wasn't traveling. Cris and I took the babies to mass on Christmas Eve. Amelia was so pissed off that we had to leave the new puppy at the house. Try explaining ( Read more... )

Q: Why do Torontonians drink out of bowls?

( A: )

Some might call me a deadbeat dad cause I'm living with a goalie in a penthouse in downtown Montreal and I would have to agree with them after the way that Flexi beat me with a big styrofoam stick at the Toys R Us on Boulevard Daniel-Johnson in Laval ( Read more... )

He took off his glove and shook some of the sweat from his left wrist as I reached out and took him by the hand. The moisture kept our hands glued together although not as uncomfortably as one would expect. I smiled warmly at him as I usually did but something about his face was brighter than normal. The heat that radiated from his equipment was ( Read more... )

I'm thinking that while we're in Miami, to celebrate my amazing and speedy recovery and return to winger, we should all go to a strip club and get drunk. From there we will guess which one's are natural blondes and which ones are fake. AND NO CHEATING by seeing if tops and tails match ( Read more... )

You may have seen this feature about me on the Canadiens website saying that I was back on the ice. Or you may have seen me on the ice if you are perhaps a teammate or something but don't let your eyes fool you. That is not me. The real Mathieu Dandenault feigned injury and actually joined the Ice Capades last month and is doing a stint as ( Read more... )

You Know You're From Montreal When... You pronounce it "Muntreal", not "Mahntreal ( Read more... )