Today I had an appointment with Dr. Moriarty.

To be fair, this Dr. Moriarty's first name was Patricia and she was wearing a fuzzy pink sweater, but you could still see the criminal genius seething underneath.

My mom has a blog now ( Read more... )

I've always been a staunch supporter of The English Class. When dull mobs of dull children whine that books are ruined by thinking too hard about them, I'm ready with my firm retort: "Yes, but you'd never fucking read these books anyway," followed by the occasional tough but fair choking of a bitch ( Read more... )

This week is shaping up to be a string of deep, heartfelt sighs of relief.

One down. Only like four left. I can do this.

I went home last weekend and I forgot to take a walk in the woods. I always walk in the woods by my house in the fall. Fresh air and colors, these are things I like ( Read more... )

Alright, I know I have pretty much officially divorced myself from the Harry Potter universe after my abusive relationship with book seven, but I couldn't help but share this ( Read more... )

I miss French. Not the halting, uncertain stammers of children trying to conjugate new thoughts. Not the grinding, guttural tape recordings of questions asked slowly for our benefit. But, y'know, French. It's a great language, in case you were unaware. All lilting murmurs and soft hissing. There's the occasional throaty, lougie-drenched syllable, ( Read more... )

New way to procrastinate during an all-nighter!

Make little spears out of your pens' inkwells so you can hunt and stab your animal crackers.

Pros:
Entertainment. The visceral satisfaction of the kill.

Cons:
Crumbs. Ink poisoning.

After a great deal of deliberation, I have officially decided to grow my hair out until winter break. I mean, I really like the current length, but I have an urgent wish to try it long again. Afterwords I will buzz it all off again and have one more brief love affair with a spkiy little punk rock number before I commit ( Read more... )

How you know when you lead a very priviledged life:

You get very angry when none of the bagels in your house are pre-sliced.