just wanted to have a post that was composed at sometime other than 12am-4am.

yeah, that's about it. i could write an update, but honestly there's nothing worth putting down. maybe in 6 months when i check this thing again i'll have come up with something.

it's funny to me, i listen to my coworkers speak about how lost they were during their younger years and how they were completely mentally unstable and emotionally ragged. then i realize, that's me... i am not thirty and engaged. it makes me feel slightly better when i step back and rationalize, 19 < 30. but then i just get frustrated. i'm ( Read more... )

'In May my heart was breaking-
Oh, wide the wound, and deep!
And bitter it beat at waking,
And sore it split in sleep.

And when it came November,
I sought my heart, and sighed,
"Poor thing, do you remember?"
"What heart was that?" it cried.'

obligatory 'must change life' post ( Read more... )

maybe i just dislike everyone who goes by the name of megan. it seems to be a reoccurring theme within my relationships.

but your breath smelt so clean, and i liked that. no lingering smoke, whiskey words, or even a minty cover up. i hadn't seen you in over a year and i remembered you quite differently. your hair is short and you seem to have grown a few inches... as well as a beard. you remembered me and we spoke so casually, comfortably. of course you were ( Read more... )

i found my old journal tonight. i was almost positive i had deleted it ages ago. all reading it really did for me was establish the fact that i haven't changed a bit, and possibly never will. my life is just one continuous circle. the same problems arise constantly and i tend to handle them identically, every time. even now i'm basically stuck ( Read more... )

sometimes love gets a second chance... doesn't it?

can you ever get back what you used to have?

fuck.

i know when you are flirting, and this is flirting.

what am i doing? all of a sudden i am surrounded by all of this anxiety. my dad is the only person i think about. i'm worrying constantly, "where is he?", "is he alright?", "is he lonely?". these thoughts and others keep pulsing through my head and i can't concentrate. did i make the wrong decision leaving him all alone in lynchburg? what am ( Read more... )