i want to write something, but not sure what exactly. life changes, all the time, my mind takes time to catch up. there is so much to take in, and after i've processed it all, so very little comes out of it. actually i don't think that that is true, i think that my behavior and actions probably mirror my experiences very well, but my conscious ( Read more... )

i am in a productive mood! hope it sticks

i feel a bit lost. goddamnit, i think i am going to spend a good 90% of my life feeling lost. i don't know what i am doing with my life. i really need to try more things to find out what i like, but i'm not going to lie. for a while after i got home, i still had that "gung ho, do everything" attitude, but home is this scary swirling vortex that ( Read more... )

today at a chinese supermarket i sat next to this weathered 60-something year-old lady with wiggly drawn eyebrows and lips, long painted nails, a weird ass forearm tattoo, and a really trashy streetwalker outfit. she was going over her coupons, meticulously, and i kind of fell in love with her. i wanted to talk to her, but i think it would have ( Read more... )

i really am very grateful for everyone around me. i can't concentrate on writing, there is a worm chewing up my brain cells into mulch. i don't think time passes by faster than it did when i was younger, i think i just remember less, so it seems that not very much has happened in a long while.

there are certain people i miss like crazy. i'd love to live in a perfect world where i could see people when i want to see them. i love talking to caloy on skype. it's like he's right next door or something, instead of clear across the globe. but you can't talk on skype the way you can talk in person - i want to talk to him about certain things ( Read more... )

i feel a bit more like my old self right now :) i think the excitement which started in australia of living someone else's life has worn off. i am back to wanting quiet activities and to be alone, and i feel really happy right now. haha, i was ranting to chris two hours ago about how stressed out i was, but i think it was a kind of turning point ( Read more... )

i really want some time off right now.

Killing Time ( Read more... )

i feel like i am constantly screwing up life. i don't really know what i want, so i'm not heading anywhere in particular.