A few nights ago I went to the casino with Matt's sister & Carlos. Matt's Sister called Matt in Ohio & put me on the phone. I could tell he wasn't happy with the little trick haha but whatever. I was pleased to hear his voice regardless if he gave a shit or not to talk to me. Nothing has changed. I'm still blocked on facebook and he doesn't text or ( Read more... )

I really miss Matthew. I don't know why but I think about him all the time. Every sad song on the radio reminds me of him. I want to text him & tell him I miss him. I don't know if his number is still the same or if he would even care.. So I never do it.. but eventually I might cave. It could either go really really good or really really bad.. ( Read more... )

I hate December. I hate Christmas. I hate Winter. I hate the cold! Apparently my Grandmother refuses to do Christmas this year because of my Great Grandmother (Her Mother) passing away. Mom & I are upset & sick of the excuses. Each year its always something why we can't get into the Holiday spirit. I mean I hate Christmas & don't really care either ( Read more... )

I knew he would steal from me. He's done it everyone else. Family & friends. Nothing made me any different. He's a junkie. That is what they do. They don't care who they hurt. They just want to get high ( Read more... )

my 2 favorite pendants gone.. my cd collection gone.. matt's hoodie still missing... Yep.. It's you Jeff. There is no one else who would do this to me!

Pretty sure that Jeff stole the NFL Ohio gray hoodie sweatshirt that Matthew gave me :( I just realized it was missing tonight & I searched everywhere for it. I'm so upset! I text Jeff to asked if he borrowed a hoodie from me but he said he didn't. I don't know where else it would fucking go! If he stays with me again & leaves a backpack here there ( Read more... )

Monday evening I was laying down attempting a nap when I had a call. I ignored it trying to sleep but since I got a message it intrigued me to see who it was. Well it was Jeff he was crying and said he really needed someone to talk to. I sighed and shook my head and called him right back ( Read more... )

Probably had the most boring Halloween ever this year. I dressed up for work & still have no clue who won best costume which is a $20 Hannaford gift card. Who doesn't love free money towards groceries?! Thankfully they had me working in the Laundry room that day because if I had been put on to clean rooms it would of been impossible in my costume ( Read more... )

I haven't seen Matthew in a week. I'm over it. It's weird he asked me out then never acted like we were in a relationship. I'm just doing what I want anyways. He would actually have to care to be upset if I "cheated" on him. I stopped texting him for 2 days then he text me yesterday asking what I was doing later. I told him going to the Halloween ( Read more... )

Got the coke late Friday night. By the time my person left from bringing it to me and I was about to break up some lines my ex's mom called saying she was out front! I stalled saying I needed 2 more minutes. I just put the straw in the bag and snorted a good bit up each nostril and off I went. It was good. Real good ( Read more... )