i wish i wrote more this year for my records. but i haven't felt like it, inspired to do so. this year started off on a really powerful positive note. many times throughout i recall thinking to myself "i didn't know life could be this good". just as i had the deep dark sadness, i felt a warmth of sincere happiness. maybe i have seasonal depression ( Read more... )

poor lil meg in that last post. i'm feeling a lot better, and i started my period this morning so you gotta know these feelings but be at least a little bit legit. after that guy made me sad i've taken a break from looking completely and came up with my new year's resolution which was no text 2016 meaning i would stop pursuing guys or initiating ( Read more... )

i've drifted in and out of sadness for as long as i can remember. i remember it starting in middle school. it comes and goes, for the last few months it feels like it's here more than gone. i've had this deep aching loneliness for what feels like forever even though i know i didn't used to feel this way. i don't remember not feeling this way really ( Read more... )

i like life a lot right now. i had a kind of gnarly summer, too much alcohol (i guess? i think?) molly xanax pain killers, i'd get fucked up and then supplement the next day with pills to make the weight of my poor decisions more tolerable. then i'd chill on my routine for the remainder of the week doing all my good healthy happy productive solid ( Read more... )

so idk what it was about 2014 that is just one giant blur, like everything kind of seems to run together, events fade in and out and no major place holders or book ends seem to separate anything from everything. well at a surface level anyway. there are definite highlights/low lows, and i think maybe this mood over the whole year can be blamed on ( Read more... )

i haven't written in awhile so i figured i should, ? i've been having a bad week, writing in this thing helps especially when i feel like i don't really have anyone to talk to. or like, i do, but people have their own problems and i think it can be boring and draining to unload on someone, especially when it's not all major problems or something ( Read more... )

i've been enjoying this summer a pretty good amount. beach days, day hikes. i can feel my age when i drink, though. i don't know if it was always like this or if it just feels like it's worse but i can't hang anymore after a night of drinking, so i try and shoot for only 1 night a week because i'm such a lazy sack of shit the next day and it makes ( Read more... )

oh my god i have been in the weirdest mood all week. hardly any motivation, i just want to lay in bed for as long as possible and not get out while simultaneously feeling like shit for not getting out of bed and just wahh. all week! everyone around me is disappointing me, with the exception of marty. marty's solid. everyone else is a stupid asshole ( Read more... )

i wish i had a healthier relationship with food. when i'm dieting and doing good i'm still constantly looking up healthy recipes and thinking about it endlessly, obsessing. and if i slip up a little after eating perfectly all day, i dwell so much about it endlessly. or when i'm doing bad i'm constantly reminded by little things, the tug and pull ( Read more... )

i wish i was able to know a lot of the people i admire. writers, comedians, etc etc. like, you feel like you know the person so well because what they are writing and describing is so intimate and blah, blogs and shit, books, memoirs, stand-up, you know? youtube, instagram, all of it. but you really don't know them and it's actually kind of ( Read more... )