the little blonde self-determined girl has become the blonde internally conflicted woman, torn between two possibilities that dominate both heart and mind ( Read more... )

can someone just tell me what i'm supposed to do with my life? where i'm supposed to go? what career path to follow? perhaps it's the curse of being a senior, but maybe it's more than that. i look in secret on websites to find ways to become what i want to be in the back of my mind, but am too scared to pursue it. it would feel like throwing away ( Read more... )

i'm trying to make a change, but change can be so hard.

well i finally found what i'm looking for...

i hope there never comes a day when the piece 'tabula rasa' by arvo part doesn't crawl under my skin and prickle in the way that only a tremendous work can. it washes over and under me. some music makes you want to listen, but it seems like 'tabula rasa' demands to be heard. it undulates and weaves and utilizes the amazing capabilities of the ( Read more... )

despite how wonderful this summer has been in many ways, i had one experience that made me realize something very big about myself ( Read more... )

this whole being on the verge of adulthood thing sucks ( Read more... )

i'm getting to the age where i can begin to articulate some of my views on life. they're mine, and might not mean much to some, but they're what form the core of my existance. bear with me as i jot them down day by day... here is today's discussion.

organized religion: i don't believe in organized religion. i'm not an atheist or a devil-worshipper ( Read more... )

deleting
deleting
deleting you away...

brunette feels good.
out with the old and in with the new.
erasing old memories that hurt.
relishing in new memories that glow.
in a little while this hurt will hurt no more.
summer feels real for the first time in years.

i wish i could express myself as eloquently as some of my friends in times like this, but i can't. the last 5 days have been weird and confusing and have brought about a lot of emotions that i haven't experienced in a long time, if ever. i've felt bad about some of these feelings because they make me seem like a bad person, but they're just ( Read more... )