they sent me home from work today. i couldn't stop crying. i don't know what the fuck is wrong with me but i think it's time to get some help.

iN

so my mother just informed me that my brother is going to be going to iraq at the end of august. my brother, which most of you actually none of you know him has been in the army since i was 5 so do the math..16 years. he's never seen any combat. tho he's taught people how to fight or whatever they teach you. i'm pretty shaken up and upset to say ( Read more... )

this is where i feel like shit. can't we ever be in sync? i'm down. in the dumps. i'm so fed up with myself i just don't even no where to begin so i won't begin i'll just keep it all in. i was talking to L1 about mood swings yesterday. you should call me cause we always have fun..i think. -------

for once i am awake at 3 in the morning but alas you are at work. bollocks. i need to get a life. or actually talk to my friends. i have this really sick feeling in my stomach right now, so i don't think i could sleep even if i wanted to. all of the fam was nice. chris' dad left me by giving me a high five and saying " tag yer it" which i found ( Read more... )

chris' dad will be here tonite! eek i'm scared to meet him.

so, i went to my brother's last nite. and he told us jordan ( our old cat ) remember him guys? had to be put to sleep because he had this infection that wasn't getting better. he had been living with my brother's friend from work, and i guess there were like 8 cats in the house and he was getting along with all of them. especially this one little ( Read more... )

i'm a fucking mental case.

today i gave blood. which was a first for me. it went all right, i started feeling a little bit yuck when i came home but all is well i guess. i'm just tired. and oh i have enough iron in my blood now and that made me very happy. at least i'm healthy. for a vegetarian. so we're gonna go and try to find food that's not hot.

my lids are so heavy but my mind is so awake. and all this stress and fighting my body just can't take. i feel like i need out, some outlet to be alone. i work 8 hour days and i dream of being with you. and when i am, i'm not. we're not living just existing. and it's not enough for me. how can i be 21 and still not know what i want out of life. ( Read more... )