goodness..i forgot how difficult it can be looking for a new place. we cannot stay here any longer. our landlord isn't very great and this place is far too pricey. i'm trying to get jennifer to move with us. i think it might be good for her. she wouldn't be so broke..or lonely. i miss seeing her like i did before. i feel like an asshole sometimes ( Read more... )

my life has been consumed with work. my pay check better rock the block or i shall be one pissed off workaholic. today and tomorrow..and then i am finally off for 3 whole days. moriah and i are supposed to do something nice together. some alone time...thought about camping, but not if i am still sick. i've had a cold or sinus infection of some sort ( Read more... )

so yesterday we drove to the liqueur store to get something for jennifer...as we pull up this lady gets out of her car with three kids. why would you take three kids into a liqueur store? or even one. i remember when i lived in indiana with my mom and stepdad..we had a liqueur store in walking distance to our house. how convinient for an alcoholic ( Read more... )

I don't need this box to be full to remember it. what a sad two days...

update update update....i've got something digging under my skin. scratching at my brain. i need a fly swatter, no this house doesn't have flies.

once upon a time i had this friend...we were inseparable. connected at the hip always together. laughing wrestling playing music watching movies cuddling or we could just sit there and do nothing and we would be fine with that. i didn't expect it to be like this. he got a girlfriend, they had sex, now he is gone. can someone please tell me how i ( Read more... )

she said i could so i did. who knows for how long. probably too long because eventually it became hard to breathe. i blew my nose and i think my brain came out. ok maybe not, but it could have. i feel better now that i am not hiding anything any longer. not from her anyway. some things just dig under my skin far too much. guess that was one of the ( Read more... )

man i hate waking up from a dream that i am pissed/upset in...and feeling the same way when i open my eyes. i had a dream that moriah and i went to some party thing and she disappeared for a while. so i went looking for her. i opened a door to some bedroom and i found her with her face in some dumb cunt's cunt. oh man i was PISSED. i said something ( Read more... )

the other night i had my first i guess flashback in a dream..slash that..nightmare. but it didn't wake me up. i slept the whole way through. i didn't remember it right away though. but why now? things like that are triggered. its just weird..especially considering i have never had any flashbacks in a nightmare with this one. never. it was like ( Read more... )

i wonder...if i held my heart in one hand...my mind in the other..which would fall quicker? they're both so filled with everything..mom asked me today if i would be willing to put my mamma up for a while. i didn't really say anything..she said probably not really. then tried reassuring me that she would be alright. she said she'd call me if she got ( Read more... )