id rather have long my world into a real journal. but alas my husband will read it. so i dont. yesterday we went out since... the last time we went out (ha ha) and d-r-a-m-a ( Read more... )

me and chris got into another one on friday. im so lost ( Read more... )

tomorow is me and chris's one year anniversary. and the irony of it would be that he has his first counsling session for our marriage counsling. ha ha (sarcasm)
things suck. i mean, i love him, and he is so much fun. but that is about it. things are fine and dandy when it comes to fun and sex mostly. but when it comes to romance, or responsibility ( Read more... )

i wonder a lot what i really looked like before i got pregnant. cause i was small. 115ish. which isnt small small. but i wasnt big. but i always felt fat. like, really large. people say that when you have an eating disorder that your body image is all messed up. which i believe now. i didnt then cause i would look into the mirror and all i saw were ( Read more... )

i think corbin is finally asleep so i am going to take a shower. i dont think i will get to go tanning cause chris is still at his orientation. poo. unless he gets home soon. then it is texas roadhouse with his family. ive never been there. his family always talks about how small i am. they are all a little on the heavier side. its funny they ( Read more... )

im talking to my sister right now on the phone. its really sad. for her, and for me, but i dont want to talk to her about me ( Read more... )

i took this icon from someone who made it from someone else. i dont know how to credit, but i love it. i love the show, as does the rest of america prolly. but this icon really means a lot to me. first of with george, cause george reminds me of somebody. and i almost cant bare to watch the show anymore cause i would give anything not to be reminded ( Read more... )

i went out to chris's step-dads retirement party last night. its been 4 weeks since i had the baby. every keeps saying they cant believe how tiny i am after just having a baby. and i dont feel too bad. but then i put on my fav pair or jeans last night and they barley even went up around my hips. it just makes me realize how small i was before i got ( Read more... )

i cant sleep. even though i went to bed around 130 or 2. and i have been awake since 6. yeah. the time my husband decided to stumble on home. god i wish that i had some friends to talk to. or to cry to. or anything. i just dont understand why this keeps happening. and crying for 3 hours non stop really isnt going to help much. talk about keeping ( Read more... )

being pregnant has really brought on a whirlwind of emotions... 1st emotion... fuck. (not in the literal since that brought upon this happening)2nd emotion... joy. i mean, ive always always wanted to be a mom. that is my goal in life basically. my 3rd emotion... im fucked ( Read more... )