im becomming so obsessed about my weight. its killing me. i dont know why. maybe it was because when i came home i thought i would be happy if i weighed like, 125. i knew i wouldnt be happy, but i would figure at least i didnt gain a shit load of weight since i hadnt been paying attention. i weighed 115. yesterday i weighed 111. fuux. i threw up ( Read more... )

so chris now knows about my ed. fuux... we both got hopped up on pills and beer (i had gone to the bar prior to this) and we were watching tv, and mostly just talking. but we were doing some deep down emotional talking crap... and it came out. (apparently he had already known from when we dated like, 2 years ago.) the next morning i didnt know if i ( Read more... )

so i just got home last weekend. i am now... for the first time in two years, home to stay. yeah! it was sooo sooo sad to leave tracie. and my other friends. but trey the most. she is the most awesomest... stubborn... stuck up... best friend that i have ever had. i miss her to death! i am going to go see her in a few weeks i hope and pray ( Read more... )

this is an exert (sp??) from a book that i am currently reading, which i find incredibly awesome, but sadly triggering ( Read more... )

things have been weird and wonderful latley. on every aspect. i got into the biggest fight with my best friend, and in a matter of minutes we went from being best friends, to not even speaking anymore. and i think that i am taking it a little bit harder than i should. i took 14 morphine pills that night, plus some tylonol 3.. yeah, still riding the ( Read more... )

the internet here sucks. you can only go on like, 3 sites. i am happy that livejournal is one of them. because i have nothing else in the world to do. it makes me sad though cause i cant see any pictures. so that makes like, half of the posts in my friends journals blank. blegh ( Read more... )

i effin love dc talk. and michael bolton. yeah i know. im a dork. and i am okay with this ( Read more... )

god i wish that i could stop crying. i mean, honestly. why am i so miserable. maybe it was because i am falling apart. physically and mentally. i mean. for lunch i wasnt going to eat, and then someone brought cookies. so i ate one cookie, than i ate a peice of chocolate, and then some m&m's. and then... well a few more peice of shit foods later i ( Read more... )

fuck whats wrong with me. i hate this and i hate life. i dont know what to do. i just broke down in the bathroom crying... i dont think i have ever cried so hard in my life. it wasnt crying. it was more like, violent shaking, with tears running down my cheeks. i cant stop this. i am in way to far ( Read more... )

i feel so effin fat today ( Read more... )