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ha ha ha haaaaaaa
Chapter 4 of my book entitled How I Made Jeff Weaver's Life Hell (And Other Tales) has just been written. I already have a publisher lined up so you can go ahead and preorder it on amazon.com, but I have a feeling I won't be done writing it for a good, long while ( Read more... ) -
We beat LA.
Hello again, readers! How was your evening? Mine was simply divine! Tonight's game revealed a couple of interesting truths. Contrary to popular belief, there is someone I own more than I own the Colorado bullpen, AKA the benefactors of my countless grand slams! And in a more astounding related development, it turns out there is someone on LA's ( Read more... ) -
kill me
In light of our recent team chemistry crisis I planned a July 4th party at my apartment tonight for any of my teammates who wanted to come, to take place directly after our game. I planned the menu a week in advance, had my wife pick up all of the supplies, and made sure when I got home last night to begin marinating the salmon and to defrost the ( Read more... ) -
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I have a message for all you baseball fans down here in Southern California: the ballpark is not the friggin' beach! Save the beach balls for your frat parties by the ocean, you polo-shirt-with-flipped-up-collars-and-hawaiian-shorts-wearing morons. SoCal is a disgrace ( Read more... ) -
Michael Tucker's Restaurant Reviews
Upon our arrival back in beautiful San Francisco, my teammates Ray Durham and Pedro Feliz accompanied me to Farallon, a seafood restaurant in Union Square. Upon entering the restaurant, the first thing one notices is the over-the-top under the sea theme. The bar is jellyfish themed for God's sake! We were seated in the pool room, in which the ( Read more... ) -
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You LOSE, Neikro. Better get that tutu on before we leave town, bitch.
MICHAEL TUCKER: 1000 CAREER HITS!!! -
P-S-O-R-I-A-S-I-S
Well well well. They say Michael Tucker can't hit anymore. ASK JOSE LIMA IF MICHAEL TUCKER CAN STILL HIT. Go ahead, ask him ( Read more... ) -
1000 hits
Hello again, loyal readers. I have been taking a break from this whole journaling thing after it became so fucking trendy in our clubhouse. Every day I'm trying to concentrate on kicking someone's ass at chess while some guy is bragging about his new layout, or how he spent the night making icons, or worrying about how he thinks he saw an infield_dirt spy ( Read more... ) -
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Dear stupid teammates,
If you want me to win games for you, please load the bases for me. I don't do 3-run homers. Grand slams only. Thank you, come again.
XOXOXOXO,
Tuck
P.S. Most of you are annoying.
