it changes ... life is a bizarre place that keeps up and downs ... i find that i am on a down ... i have lost my energy... walking home i found myself dragging ... i am burdened by more than anyone will ever know ... i feel like a failure in so many avenues of my life ( Read more... )

not sure whats going on in my head ... i have wanted to hide i think a lot about residual memory ... i am realizing that a year ago almost to the day i moved to spokane ... my ex had a funeral service since he is moving ... how odd the past year ... i find that i am reforming and remolding the glass that is the foundation of all that we are as ( Read more... )

I have been reading an incredible book ... i feel every gay man should read ( Read more... )

sometimes being upfront and happy about life is the good thing that comes out of the strength we create in our mind ... i feel that since Nov, 30, 2005 i have now entered my third stage of phoenixing ... this is very pivotal in my evolution ... i have finally gotten to that place that i like myself and know myself pretty well ... i am moved by many ( Read more... )

just to start i know everyone thinks i am mad at them, have disapeared or something the truth is i have been doing something new for a bit ... living life instead of just documenting it ( Read more... )

ah i havent disappeared ,,, just been enjoying the simple times life has brought me ... and of course continuing to be tired and a bit wore down... lately i have been searching for the simples things to find pleasure... sometime they are harder to find ( Read more... )

something has happened to me ... i find after a week of gentle thoughst i am ready to purge thoughst with a good cry fest ... a good one ... i am terrified in several things coming my way ... but i am ready to take the proverbially bull by the horns and let some go ( Read more... )

no i havent died or anything ... i am alive just been tending to myself as of late ... i moved again to west seattle ... OMG the dutchess is so happy to have a yard and to play with the crazy kitty next door Banshee.... aside from that been house sitting for a week in issaquah at my freind jen's house ... i am finding i keep sleeping tons and tons ( Read more... )

i sit here and look at my sleeping pup... she is the light of my life ... she is so pure and innocent ... never knowing the shame we as humans hold ... she loves me uncoditionally and will never leave me in the dust ... never hurt me .. NEVER ... today she has been attached to me like nothing else ( Read more... )

Such a random bizarre place for me the last couple days ... i all of a sudden am feeling very vrey aggresive ( Read more... )