I am still here, looking for a job. I am on my way to take the second part of the State Patrol Dispatchers exam. I hope to find a job soon as I am out of money and still have shit to pay for. i have had to barrow from my mom and grandma to live. Bright side is that my food stamps came back so I will be getting food sometime this week amist all my ( Read more... )

Well, I am still looking for a job. My daughter turned one. She had a great first birthday. We went to the CM Zoo.We went with Aunt Sarah, G-ma and our cousins. She fed the gariffs and when they ate them, she looked at me with a look like "mom, that thing just stole my cracker", I was sooo cute. She got to see the cats, monkeys, hippos. Then we ( Read more... )

Why is it that when you think you have found a connection with someone, something happens to fuck it all up. I have been talking to someone online for about a week and we had good e-mail conversations, but I have heard from her in a while. I am wondering if I scared her off, if I will be alone the rest of my life, if I will ever get a decent job... ( Read more... )

It has been great while since I have written in this so I thought that I would up date for thoese of you that don't know my situation ( Read more... )

Ahhh, where do I begin ( Read more... )

Well, I found out from my bestfriend that her exboyfriend is comming back to the springs. I know that he will try to get back together with her. I am not sure how I feel about that. I guess that I am scared that she will spend more time with him than with me and that when I need her she won't be there. I am scared to have her around Cheryl when she ( Read more... )

She is getting her two bottom teeth. I am so excited. She is a pain in the butt, but it is cool.

Merry Christmas to all ( Read more... )

Well I talked to Cheryls' dad last night. I called to see if his phone was working and it is. He said that he was still living on the street, working at a moving company, and when I asked if he wanted to see her he said that he didn't have time. I can't belive all that he said, but this is his daughter so should he make time? My mom said that I ( Read more... )

I have been doing somethinking over the last few days. I wound up having a break down last night from all of it. I have been thinking about Cheryl and my past. I swore when I was preganet that I would give her a better life than what I had. It is turning out to be about the same and I feel very guilty. I feel guilty because I was shelfish to keep ( Read more... )