omg i fainted yesterday in the tattoo place! i went in to book myself in for my tattoo and i suddenly came over all hot and felt sick. then i came round and was being dragged out the back to a chair :| i couldn't stop shaking or sweating. the bloke had to run to my house, which isn't far, and get griff to come get me. sooooo embarassing, i don't ( Read more... )

I haven't been sick for two days! that is a record for me. I haven't gone that long for about two years and I have lost weight. It makes it easier not to binge/vomit when I have lost weight, hopefully I can make it three days today. as long as I am officially underweight i can cope with myself. I have a sore throat and a blocked nose anyway, don' ( Read more... )

This is goodbye ( Read more... )

i can't go on like this anymore. i can feel it building up inside me, pushing me, pulling me. i am sick of everything. sick of my life, sick of working, sick of whining about things most people can deal with. i know everyone has to work but i don't want to. i want to stay at home in bed but i can't so i have to overdose. i don't know when/how much ( Read more... )

sparkle has left me :( i noticed yesterday she was making a weird noise when she breathed and looked a bit thinner than she did so i took her to the vet and she said sparkle had a tumor on her left lung :( that's what eventually killed princess. the vet said sparkle felt a bit cold and it would be kindest to put her to sleep. she was really nice ( Read more... )

Come faeries
take me out of this dull world,
for I would ride with you
upon the wind and dance
upon the mountains like a flame

( Read more... )

called in sick for work yesterday. not sure if they actually understood what i was saying as i was crying so much. i was on my way to work and ended up at the orchard centre instead. i couldn't face work and i couldn't face their questions about my neck. i'm due in in an hour. it looks worse today. what the fuck am i supposed to say happened???? ( Read more... )

After reading Levi's reply to my last entry I thought I would make some lists...

THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE

* Go to Egypt (of course)

* Meet Sally again

* Do a parachute jump

* Hold a monkey :)

* Go snorkling in australia

MY DREAMS * Work as a researcher in a museum ( Read more... )

working 10 hours today :( i don't want to be here. i dont want to be anywhere. i want to die. i have been getting more and more depressed recently. i dont think i will survive the winter. im like a butterfly. this morning reminded me of those winter days when you wake up shivering and crying. working and then coming home. nothing else. i dont want ( Read more... )