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ARrrg
So, I'm trying to write in my lj more so as not to annoy my husband so much. I have a problem about being very neurotic and obsessive. If something is on my mind I want to keep talking and over analyzing and obsessing. He does not, as one might imagine, enjoy this very much. So, I am attempting to write it out more often ( Read more... ) -
Marriage
I love him, don't misunderstand, I will never leave him. But he will probably leave me someday. We rushed into this very quickly, no one said it to our faces, I'm sure the majority of them did say it behind our backs though. 11 months of dating, no prior friendship, and we got married. We took the leap of faith. Knowing what both believed, knowing ( Read more... ) -
Typical Monday
It's not a great day, go figure. It took forever to get to sleep last night because I started stressing about money. Am I being selfish moving back to the east coast? We are probably going to blow through all our savings before we start making enough teaching to fully support ourselves. It will take a couple years to build up but once it gets there ( Read more... ) -
Upswing
Alright! I'm more optimistic, finally. I started reading "The Art of Asking" again which I save for just such occasions, I had just forgotten about it. So, I've already got a new song idea in which I can collaborate with D. Yay! And it's an elegy for George. It's in the very early stages so it will probably be some time before we figure it out ( Read more... ) -
ARRRRGHHHHLLLlUUUUUGGGGHHHH!
So frustrated. I'm in such a rut and I don't know how to get out of it! I know I have to be the one to create change and make the world I want to live in but damn, it is not going as planned. I have researched places to play around town, I have emailed and scoped out a bunch of places, but no. Nothing is panning out. I know I had a lot of rejection ( Read more... ) -
Moving
So, D and I had our first major disagreement. It wasn't an argument, it was just a lack or agreeing that led to a lack of discussing the subject further. I want to move back to CT. My mind is made up. I've been pining for it since we left but didn't have the realization that I actually wanted to do it until very recently. And I want to do it. It's ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I miss Grandpa. And I can't call him to tell him that. Some days I ignore it and act like it doesn't get to me, other days I just bawl out of the blue for seemingly no reason. The last few days have been really hard, I didn't ever spend Thanksgiving with them that I could think of. We visited more for Christmas or out of the blue. But I couldn't ( Read more... ) -
Fear
I have never been scared in my country. Yes, we've been to war with other countries in my lifetime, but things didn't really hit American soil. Yes, there was a major terrorist attack in my lifetime, but I lived on the other side of the country and it didn't really hit me ( Read more... ) -
Venting
So, it's been a while, and I only return to gripe because I feel guilty sharing my insecurities constantly with real people. Plus they're always optimistic and want to offer suggestions, and I just want to wallow a little. There isn't much I can do to improve my current situation anyway, i just have to be patient ( Read more... ) -
The rollercoaster saga continues
So, things in my work life have started to pick up. I'm up to 5 students at the store, I expect I would have more but the front desk person quit so the owner has been forced to pick up the slack there and hasn't had time to do any marketing to find more for me. But I've seen the list, I know he has some in the works. To help alleviate him or all ( Read more... )