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Wandering the wilderness once again...
Something inside me is percolating. The kind of percolating that led me to karate 15 years ago, to spiritual direction at a monastery 10 years ago, and to chaplaincy almost 5 years ago.
Waiting is hard. Anticipation is riding me like a horrible nightmare. I know transformation and change are sitting around the corner. The thing is, I can ( Read more... ) -
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I'm not sure what I even want to write about. I think I'm in some sort of shocky state, trying not to have a panic attack. Sometimes life is not what you think it is. Sometimes there are things you cannot fix. Sometimes I feel too freakin tired to even feel bad about myself or my situation. Nuff sed. -
32
I am now 32 years old. It honestly doesn't feel that monumentous (livejournal or windows doesn't think that's a word, but I do, so there!), despite being grateful for the time I've had here on earth.
Maybe I'll have something more profound to say at 33. -
PostChristian or PostChurch?
Sunday morning was a thing I looked forward to for years of my life. I enjoyed church until I was 11 or so, then I felt my first of many betrayals during VBS when a pastor thought we were old enough to know the "true" meaning of the Genesis creation story. Yeah, women are source of all evil and sin in the world and are pretty much worthless and ( Read more... ) -
ACOA... that's me.
Here is what I found when looking at resources for ACOA "Adult Children of Alcoholics". I've been thinking about how my relationship with food is addictive behavior and wondering if other ACOA who don't end up addicts of drugs/alcohol might end up with compulsive eating issues. Guess what? As much as I hate being predictable, I found confirmation ( Read more... ) -
Ever feel like you're in a nightmare?
This morning I was visiting a patient in a Dementia unit at a nursing home. We sit in the common room at a table and she flips through magazine pages, pointing at pictures and mostly speaking nonsense. I enjoy it for the most part. But today, another patient who I've not seen there before decides to yell "Boy, you're fat! Look at how fat she is!" ( Read more... ) -
Gideon and Isaac.
One of my close sister-in-spirits has lost another baby. When life begins is of course a largely debatable topic in theory... but in reality, a 22 week old fetus is a baby to this mother and I think to many mothers. She has pictures of him, knows his gender, heard his heart beat, and felt him kick in her womb. I was there when they took her into ( Read more... ) -
ch..ch..ch..changes... la la la...
Tonight is the first night of A's new work hours... 12:30 to 9pm. It will be esp. hard since I usually pass out around 9pm. We'll get to have water aerobics together, but let's face it... at 4:30am, i can barely stand my own presence let alone someone else's. I think I would enjoy a few nights on my own, as we spend all our spare time together. ( Read more... ) -
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Babies, babies, everywhere there's babies. I swear to everything that's holy I did not feel such ennui for getting married as I do for having a baby. Sure, I had moments where I got scared of being alone the rest of my life, but I didn't dream of my wedding or wonder where I'd have my honeymoon or contemplate the dishes we'd put on the bridal ( Read more... ) -
Post-Apocalypse Chaos and Letting Go
I'm reading a series I just discovered that is blowing open a whole new world of existential esoteric questions. The first book is called Bloodring by Faith HunterIn these books, she asked and answered the question of what would happen if the apocalypse happened but some people survived and the world went on. In this alternate reality, it's 100 ( Read more... )