I Love You - the sequel- [The Time, The World and You]~Part One~

[miekissluv]

Title: I Love You - the sequel- [The Time, The World and You]

Pairing: Yukido

Disclaimer: I don’t owned any of the people in this story and everything that was written in this story is fictional only; none of them were true facts.

Summary: Hyde had confessed his feeling to Yukkie, but would Yukkie ready to move on? This is a sequel for I Love You

I Love You - the sequel- [ The Time, The World and You]~Part One~



The sky looked cloudy and not as bright and shining as always; Hyde drove passed the front gate leading to the huge white building; the building itself located on outside the city area, making its appearance looked somehow peaceful and serenating. He then turned to the entrance of the underground parking lots, and parked his car in that almost empty space. After assuring his car is secured, Hyde walked to the elevator. As the elevator arrived on the instructed floor, he looked around the area; looking for a familiar figure.

“I was the one who’s late… an extra session perhaps?” He asking no one in particular as he absentmindedly glances at his wrist watch; barely even looked at the time, before making his way to the receptionist’s counter. The young, female receptionist had been excitedly eyeing him the moment he stepped out of the elevator; as she already expected Hyde to come around at this hour, or maybe a few moments earlier.

“Is the patient named Awaji Yukihiro is still in session?” Hyde straight away asked, without giving a chance for the receptionist to greet him first.

“Oh… He had been waited for you a while ago, but then he said if you’re coming to pick him up, he asks me to told you that he wanted to take a walk and going back on his own. He also said that he has forgotten to bring his cell phone with him so he couldn’t call you,” The receptionist explained, catching the sight of the other’s worried looks upon the explanation.

“He went back alone?!” Hyde’s question almost like it was for him himself as he didn’t wait or even bothered to look at the reassurance nods from the receptionist before he ran to the main door.

“Wait!! But it was… raining…” She found herself talking to no one as Hyde already out of the building and disappearing in the haziness of the rain.

Hyde didn’t stop at the pouring rain that hits his skin; instead he dashed forward the front gate, and when he is out of the building’s perimeter, he came into halt as there’s an intersection giving out to three different ways. Maybe it was the coldness of the weather or maybe his mind was so concern of Yukkie right now that he couldn’t make out which way could possibly Yukkie would had taken.

“Hey… It’s raining,” Hyde turned and saw a security guard was holding two umbrellas, each at one hand; the umbrella in his right hand was sheltering him from the pouring rain but the one in his left hand remained close.

“You shouldn’t dash out in the rain just like that, or even stand in the rain in fact… Where are you going?” The guy was around Hyde age, looked bothered somehow.

“Did you see my friend? He must have just passed here a while ago. Do you know which direction he went to? My friend, he was… hmm… He’s about your height, he’s really thin and he has long hair… not really long but his hair was… slightly dyed… brownish dyed… he was wearing… he wore… he…” Hyde was struggled to describe how Yukkie looks like to the guard; and for some reasons Hyde didn’t remember what Yukkie was wearing that morning.

“Your friend went that way. If you want to look for him then it will be better if you bring this umbrella along with you, since your friend didn’t bring one himself,” The guard answered calmly, handed the umbrella in his left hand to Hyde; as he recognized both Hyde and Yukkie, and even thought of it was almost impossible for anyone living in Japan to not know who is these guys are.

“Thank you,” Hyde answered and bowed in hurry before leaving toward the pointed direction.

Hyde ran through small roads surrounded by either trees or small houses and even shops that were mostly closed. Despite an umbrella was lend to him by the guard, Hyde walked through the mere storm with the umbrella remained closed in his hand. Hyde had followed the road until finally a small abandoned shop came in his view; and underneath the roof of that shop was a frail, fragile figure; trembling like a leaf, against the coldness of the winds circulation around him.

Hyde slowly walked near the figure; he didn’t rushed up to that figure as how he was running around looking for him, in fact, Hyde taking each step gently, planted his feet to the ground at each time as if; if he was running the earth would shatter into pieces. The figure underneath the roof sensing another presence near him that he turned to the direction and found Hyde was walking toward him. Hyde finally saw the figure’s face that he halt for a second, contemplating at the tears that running across that figure’s cheeks.

“Yukkie…” Hyde couldn’t say nothing else as he arrived in front of that said figure. Yukkie was still standing underneath the roof but Hyde decided to keep standing a step further, exposing him to the rain. Hyde opened up the umbrella and held it upright; he was sure that it wasn’t the coldness of the rain that let his hands trembles but it was Yukkie’s tears; less to Hyde own realization that he was crying himself.

“Issho ni kaerou,” Hyde held out his hand that soon accepted by Yukkie with a half-smile, suggesting the great suffering he was hiding beneath him; and yet Hyde considered it was as an improvement to Yukkie to finally smile again. Hyde pulled Yukkie closer to him; and underneath the umbrella against that cold, harsh rain; they kissed.

**

Hyde slowly opened his eyes, felt the heaviness of his eyelids to remain open. The dimness of the room; caused by thick blinds blocking the sun rays from shining brightly through the glass sliding door, making Hyde searching for familiar things in that room just to help him separating the dreams from the realities.

“Why am I dreaming about it again?” Hyde mumbles to himself in the hoarseness of his voice, staring at the clothing items that was scattering on the floor.

The dream that he been having lately wasn’t entirely a dream, he well aware that it was his own subconscious mind that keep repeating the event over and over again in his dream; telling him to remember it, almost like warning him with something that he didn’t understand. Or maybe that he just don’t want to understand it.

It was that day, it had been three weeks ago, he guessed. No… it had been a month… it was a month ago, and the dream never failed to haunt me every now and then… It was one of that days that Hyde had to gone through seeing the suffer Yukkie gone through; and it’s hurt him badly to see him hurt that much. It had been a very long way ever since that day, but he still dreamt about it like it was just yesterday. Like it was just yesterday that I saw Yukkie’s tears… that I saw Yukkie cried… It was the first time that Hyde ever saw Yukkie cried; and that that’s the only time for the fact. Yes, it was true that not just him but both Tetsuya and Ken knows Yukkie had been crying as soon as he heard the terrible news and had been crying everyday ever since then; but none of them ever saw it as it was always hidden away from their sights, and when Yukkie’s eyes wasn’t the one that was crying, it was his heart does. But that day was different, Hyde finally witness the great suffers physically all by himself and Yukkie hadn’t even tried to hide it.

He turned around to the other side and found his company was sound asleep, a little hunched forward as if his chest was lightly attracted to his thigh and facing toward him. Hyde has always loved this moment; the moment when he had woke up earlier than the other, to see him sleeping by his side just as peaceful as a morning should be. It was almost like waking up in a whole different world, a world that consist only the two of them. The world where there’s no suffering; and all like it was supposed to be, nothing was wrong. Looking at Yukkie’s face now would be like looking at his face when Hyde thought that he had him to himself; it was before all of these even existed, before she came into his life and bring a new wonderful meaning to it; and it was before she was snatched away from him, leaving him with nothing but cruelty. Yukkie looked so calm and peaceful in his sleep, like in any seconds you can expect him to give you the warmest smile and let you know that everything is okay, and that there’s always a bright tomorrow awaited everybody; or he would grins at you telling you how funny it was on everything he heard, that sometimes he was the one who is funny; but all in all he was the one who always cheering everybody else. Hyde wishes that this world would be forever; forever only the two of them and forever will it be when the time would stop for both of them. So he had forced himself to wake up early each morning to catch a glimpse of this world even though it was just for a matter of a few minutes of his life.

Hyde closing the gaps between them and wraps his arms around Yukkie’s bony figure; dragging him nearer and eventually letting that face buried on his chest. It was warmth… Yukkie’s so warmth… He could felt Yukkie’s warmth breaths on his chest; and as Yukkie move slightly, Hyde felt it on his skin; knowing it will be the ends of his perfect world and that the time has started to pass by now. Hyde let a slight distance between them so that he could see Yukkie’s face; and when he saw that fluttering eyes trying to contemplate the time and reality he’s in now, Hyde quickly bends his head and land his lips against the lips of the other; coaxing him to play along.

“Good morning,” Hyde sweetly greeted Yukkie as the broke off from the kiss; Yukkie smiled back, waiting Hyde to said whatever sentences he choose to say next to start their day off. “Well I’m going to get the breakfast ready, is there anything you had in mind that you like to have today Yukkie?” Yukkie shook his head and continued to smile; Hyde got up on his feet and grabbed a towel before walking toward the bathroom but halted in front of the door. “In that case, anything would be fine for you?” Yukkie nods as a reply; Hyde just smiled and walked into the bathroom.

As soon as he was out from the bathroom, Hyde saw Yukkie was staring at the blinds that were covering the sliding door which was separating the room from its balcony outside.

“Do you want me to raise the blinds?” Hyde asked, almost starling Yukkie. Yukkie turned facing Hyde and smile; not even a single word of agreement came from Yukkie, but Hyde doesn’t need one; and straight away raising the blinds for him. Streaming of shining, bright sunlight rushed into the room; blinding both of them momentarily.

**

“I’m almost done with this, now would you help me and set up the table?” Hyde asked when he felt Yukkie coming to the kitchen; soon he heard noises of glasses clinging together.

“You have a session today aren’t you? I forgot… At what time is it? Like usual?” Hyde asked while plating the meals.

“Ump… It was after practice,” Hyde brought the dishes to the table where Yukkie already seated awaiting for him.

“Oh is that so…” Hyde replied with a smile.

Yukkie had changed a lot ever since he’d when to the therapy that the doctor suggested, almost like he’s coming together now; like how he used to be. Yukkie had started to smiles more often and it wasn’t those kinds of smiles that meant to say nothing but how he just forced one to everyone so that everybody would stop bothered about him; it was a pure smile that meant nothing but entirely just a warmth smile. He also been communicates with others again, even though much in time he liked to listen more than commenting; but it was just as well as better than not.

“So the session is after practice… I’ll drop you off there and went to get some groceries while you on it, I’ll picked you up soon after I finished getting everything okay?” Hyde asked Yukkie.

“What are you cooking tonight?” Hyde thought for a while before answering.

“I’m thinking of doing steak… is it okay?” The exchanged of this conversation was mixed with munching on their breakfast.

“Fine I guess…” Yukkie shrugged.

I’ve been living with him since the day he when out of the hospital following that suicide attempt and I’d seen how he changed from day to day closer than anyone else. I’ve been driving him around; getting him to the therapy on the days he had one, and while there are days that I waited him there; and there are days that I went somewhere else only be picking him up later when he’d finished. I drove him everywhere he wanted me to drive him to, practice, home, his parents’ house, to the park, studios, Tet-chan’s house, Ken’s house, anybody’s house; anywhere... I fixed his meals everyday, making sure he ate much of the portion he supposed to.

“Thank you for the meals,” Yukkie bowed his head a little before picking up the plate.

“Yukkie! Don’t be such a sissy and finished it up, it wasn’t even much left!” Hyde sternly halting Yukkie from getting up, and left the table.

“I’m full…” Yukkie seated back on the chair and placed the plate back on the table. Hyde shook his head and glared at Yukkie, in which Yukkie would understand that it’s meant he had to finish it no matter what. Yukkie picked up his chopstick and sighed in resign.

It felt like it was my responsibility to do so; maybe it was the guilt that I had upon what’d happen before, making me felt like it was my fault and this is the way to make up to it; or it really was my responsibility as someone who’s close to him to take care of him, especially in this sort of time when he needed someone to look after him the most... I don’t know… but all I know is that I’m glad to do it, never once it had been a burden for me to do so… Yukkie was never a burden to me, not even once.

Yukkie seated next to Hyde on the couch, but Hyde hadn’t moved an inch and was staring at the TV mindlessly.

“It’s almost time to go to the practice…” Hyde startled; had just realized Yukkie by his side.

“Uhm?!” Hyde stared at the other a few seconds before picking up his coffee and had sips on it.

“We’ll be late for the practice if you want to wait till that show finished… and I don’t like to hear Tet-chan babbling on about good time management and professionalism and so on… So can we go to the studio now or you still insisting on watching that show?” Yukkie asked in a matter-of-fact manner. Hyde had just noticed that Yukkie had changed and was waiting for him to get ready; he just smiled and left the living room.

**

The band practice had been started for a while now and Yukkie coping with the practices and band activities quite well; in fact it was actually all those things that help Yukkie a lot in coping with his depression. At first it was difficult; to start with everyone, including me, thought that Yukkie might needs more time and space and wasn’t supposed up in the studio doing band practice, that maybe it was too early for Yukkie; everyone was against the suggestion that his therapist had given. But nevertheless, Yukkie had been insisting on doing the practice so much that no one had the heart to tell him what we think and finally went along with it. And when he starts drumming, it was far worse than what we’d thought… He kept missing beats, he couldn’t remember his scores, he kept clashing with other instruments, his timing was off, and he couldn’t start at the right moment, couldn’t find his pace, I couldn’t followed him, he couldn’t followed me or even anyone… He was struggling; though he worked hard to get it right, he was off and unfocused that it showed so much in his drumming… very much… He even continued drumming non-stop when Tet-chan had called for a break… he kept drumming, looking back at his scores and trying it again… but he still couldn’t get it right, not even a slightest bit… It was almost like he couldn’t understand his scores… It was like letting a child played on his drums… But despite that, we kept dragging that practice on because no one was willing to put an end to Yukkie; so the three of us just shut our eyes, silence our mouths and pretended that we didn’t hear the awful drumming he gave. After hours had gone by, we couldn’t get not even a song right and I don’t know how many drumsticks had Yukkie broke or threw away in random direction; finally Tet-chan called it a day and telling that it was a great practice, everyone did a good job and that’s we should go home and get some rest now… It was a lie… A white lie to protect Yukkie from getting hurt… And Yukkie knew it himself… He had worked hard and yet hasn’t get it right… that’s might be what Yukkie thought at that time as he shove his head and banged it onto his snare, apologizing over and over again… Saying that he was sorry, he had caused everyone nothing but troubles… He wasn’t crying at that time… But we knew he’s hide it… His heart was crying a river… and we knew it…

“Ohayo everyone…” Hyde entered the room and greeted everyone including Tetsuya and Ken all at once.

“Ohayo… Ohayo Yukkie,” Tetsuya replied with Ken nodded; and soon greeted Yukkie that was entering from the door.

“Ohayo…” Yukkie had put his bag on the couch when he was approached by Tetsuya.

“So about this… Could you make a little change in here?” Tetsuya talked while showed him a paper, pointing at certain writings on it.

“Umm… Where is it? Like you said yesterday, is it?” Yukkie took the paper and studied it.

“Yea! Like I said yesterday… Have I said it yesterday?” Tetsuya turned to Ken and asked; Ken nods with a cigarette hanging between his lips and he raised his arm, showed three of his fingers to Tetsuya.

“I have said it three times already?! That’s a lie… is not?! Well… yea… Can you make a change?” Tetsuya turned his conversation back to Yukkie after arguing with Ken.

“Sure… No problem,” Yukkie replied with a smile.

The next few days of band practice went pretty much the same as how it was on the first day; but Yukkie didn’t give up and keep on trying and trying everyday. Soon he started to get it little by little; the improvement was slow but there’s an improvement after we entered the second week of practice. And in no time after he regain half of what he used to be, he was almost as accurately and precise as a drum machine as he always be, on the next day. It was then at that time we could see how much he was enjoying his time behind that drum set more than anything else. He was fiery, fierce, passionate and almost like he was drown in his own world when he was drumming; and when we finished a song, the satisfied smile on his face was eager to do another one more round. He was happy… and we were happy for that…

“Wait… Wait…. Wait! Stop!!!!” Hyde screamed onto the microphone and everyone had stopped abruptly. Tetsuya raised his brows and frown at the sudden hold on the band plays, demanding a strong reason for the disturbance.

“My stomach has growled at me seven times, each was as painful as a punch on the stomach from a powerful wrestler would felt like! I want to eat now! Or else I won’t sing!” Hyde said; almost shouted as he was withholding his hunger for a while.

“I need tobacco break,” Ken continued agreeing on Hyde’s decision.

“Okay, okay… Need no shouting okay, I understand. We stop here now, be sure to get back soon, everyone,” With that; Tetsuya put down his bass and walked off somewhere else, soon followed by Ken.

Tet-chan and Ken had been helpful to Yukkie just as much as I had; that’s what the therapist said Yukkie felt about the three of us when I went on meeting her to talk on Yukkie progress, one day after a session that Yukkie had attended. Yukkie told her that if it wasn’t for the three of us, he might not be who he is right now; and Yukkie meant it to be more than just saving him during the troubles after the incident but for the whole lots of time knowing us till these days that we still be aside of him, supporting him for the better. It was true… Tet-chan and Ken had tried everything for Yukkie’s best; willing to do anything if you asked, just for the sake of Yukkie. They’re both concern of Yukkie’s safety… Tet-chan; was the one that had been concern the most from the very moment Yukkie had started joining the band… We’d discussed it with Yukkie himself when he accepted the offer on becoming a member; letting him know that this is not just him filling a vacant position in the band which would mean that all his has to do is just that… But there’s a responsibility to it… and there’s also a mental challenge as well… Knowing that some fans can be harsh… really harsh, trust me… Yukkie was well-prepared for those and doing fine on his own against all the difficulties he’d faced then. But it was just how Tet-chan was; a caring person… He had tried all means there were to protect Yukkie from those fans; and he did a great job on that, really. So when it came to this, it was more difficult as the harsh thing is it was Yukkie himself… We were protecting Yukkie from himself…

“Are you coming with me? I’m really hungry,” Hyde asked Yukkie who still on his seat, looking at the paper that Tetsuya had discussed with him earlier.

“No… not hungry,” Yukkie wasn’t even looking, concentrating fully on the paper; Hyde shrugged, it was always like this when they had a band practice.

“Well then, I’m off…” Hyde walked toward the door.

“Wait! Hyde…” Yukkie called out on Hyde, almost on his feet now. Hyde stopped and turned around, wordlessly asking why.

“Hmm… You said that you’re going on shopping for groceries during my therapy session… Could I come with you, I mean, can you do the groceries shopping after my session? I want to come along,” It was almost like it is so difficult for Yukkie to say it.

“Is there something you want to buy?” Hyde asked, was surprised with the sudden request.

“Uhh… No… Just want to come along, that’s all,” Yukkie explained, but not deliberating it any further.

“Okay then… I’ll wait until your session is over,” Hyde smiled; Yukkie nodded and continued on the paper.

Ken on the other hand, had always being the one who is close to everyone. He is how fans see him and that’s how he wanted everyone to understand him as. So it wasn’t a surprise that aside from Tet-chan that had knew Yukkie personally, prior to his joining; Yukkie could easily bonding with Ken. They had this unparalleled similarity in them; Ken would tell perverted jokes all the time and everyone laughs, which Yukkie would laughs the most; and Yukkie would tell this insanely weird stories where everyone would frowns to and eventually laughs; and no matter how weird is it sound to everyone, it’s always out of the question for Ken, as he would definitely laughs on it. But when Yukkie had decided not to talk to anyone, Ken felt he was losing something that was so precious to him; he’d said it himself. The distances that Yukkie kept on between him and Ken, and everyone else for that matter; was so significant to Ken that he worried that maybe he was already losing a dearest friend even if the guy was standing in front of him. Ken and I had a talk, just the two of us; while we were in the hospital looking after Yukkie during one night… “I knew he would do it, sooner or later… Just wasn’t so sure when will it be… But I know one day, someone would come and told me that he has done it… That I would never see him again… That person would have told me that he said he was sorry for everything, or maybe gave a note that he’d wrote… ‘You know Ken that there’s one time I would have to hide a great sadness from you, and it was this big… really huge… gigantic huge… but not to worry, I had a way to erase it now; goodbye friend’… You just know he would write it like that doesn’t he? Thinks like it’s really funny… Stupid!! It wasn’t funny at all!” That was the time when I saw the other side of Ken; he begin with a smile like he didn’t care that much of what he’s thinking at the moment, then he wandered off to somehow mad to the other and ends up spacing out for a few seconds before shouting, punching, kicking the innocent railing… I just let him do whatever he wanted to do, because I was surprised… No, not by Ken’s confession; but it was the fact that I been anticipating almost the same event myself, been thinking the same thing that Ken had, even though not exactly like what Ken had in mind… But we shared the same idea… The idea of Yukkie would try to kill himself… Yes, I was the one who’d found the knife… But I had that thought with me prior to that… I just wasn’t sure how to address it, or tell anyone what I felt… “Why didn’t I believe in myself when I had, had that feeling… Stupid!! Stupid!!! This is so stupid!” So I know that it wasn’t just me…

**

Hyde stared at the glass window, looking out to the busied street with people crossing by without any awareness that they been watched by him. Maybe because I wasn’t looking at either of them personally… But they didn’t even aware of their existence as a group to Hyde’s eyes; that’s they know they existed only for themselves. Hyde swears that he was hungry, but this view he has right now making him full; not physically but emotionally full to even eat what is in front of him.

“Ahh sorry sir!” A waitress apologized to a man that she bummed into in front of Hyde’s table; had him snapped out of his daydream.

“Oh it’s okay, I’m fine anyway…” The man walked off and out on the street soon after that.

It was in this same restaurant that both of them approached me, warning me about Yukkie; about me living together with Yukkie. The main reason is that they were worried… worried on both of Yukkie and me. The conversation that we had almost three months ago was nothing like we used to have before, everything was serious; not a slightest smile or banter ever come across us along the conversation… not even from Ken as he kept he sight outside the window most of time even while he was talking… But it was always that way ever since the incident… no one ever smiles or joking around anymore… We smiles sometime… in front of Yukkie, in front of each other… in front of everyone… but not one’s that we sincerely gave, it was we hiding our own ‘faces’… hiding our worries… But that conversation had nothing hidden… not on their sides… Tet-chan frankly said that he didn’t want me to get so intimate with Yukkie. He understand the needs of me living with Yukkie as it is essential to have someone watching over him the whole time, just to be safe... But he was hoping of ‘no feeling involved’. He had known my feeling toward Yukkie; well-aware of it before all these had happened and how long it had been. But he didn’t want me to personally involve in Yukkie’s emotional roller coaster at this time… Just at this time… He didn’t mind it if Yukkie was fully recovered “But not now… not when Yukkie himself still hadn’t capable to tell what he want from what he need… what is real to him… and what is not… He was too vulnerable right now… You’ll ends up hurting him even further… and hurting yourself actually” I just nod… I don’t know what to say… because Tet-chan was right, because he knew what’s right for everyone even if you don’t want to listen or believe him… You would realize that he was right after all at the end… But things that had happened couldn’t be undone right? I hadn’t told him this till these days… I haven’t told him what Ken had found out after Tet-chan left us in that restaurant… “You had confessed to him hadn’t you?” and how can Ken found out when I hadn’t said a word about it… I nod anyway, like I had any other choice. “Just as I thought… How serious are you now with Yukkie?” I shrugged… Maybe Ken gets it that it was far too late already, things are serious now… “Well… Just remember to tell him about this, he find a way to worked this out somehow” and Ken didn’t comments any further ever since… And I never had a gut to say it to Tet-chan yet...

**To Be Continue In Part Two**